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Old 10-09-2016, 07:14 AM
 
76 posts, read 66,436 times
Reputation: 253

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"I left my dogs because the country was all they knew. I could have brought them to my small town, but they wouldn't have adjusted. I loved them too much to cause them harm. I'll get more pets if I want too."

Don't let the naysayers bother you. We were possibly facing the same thing. We are selling our 57-acre place in the country and are getting ready to move to a much smaller place in the mountains. Our Rottweiler was very old and sick, and roaming the country freely was all she'd ever known and there's no way she could handle the cramped, steep terrain of our new place. It would be painful and cruel of us to put her through that, so we agreed that when we sold our country home, she would have to be part of the deal -- the new owners would have to let her stay in the home she'd always known. Unfortunately she has just died, so she's now buried here in her own woods. Not a problem anymore, but it's one we were possibly facing. It's no one's place or right to pass judgement on us or you.

Also, my husband and I met on an online dating site eleven years ago and we are both two peas in a pod, happy as can be. It does work.

All that said, I'm enjoying this thread immensely, as I, too, may find myself in OP's position one day. I've lived rurally for many years and am not much of a social butterfly. If I should lose my husband and best friend one day, which is likely, I'll be at a loss and probably somewhat of a hermit, much as my own mother was until she died lonely and alone... I do not want that for myself. I hope to remember all the encouragement and great ideas that have been offered here!

 
Old 10-09-2016, 08:00 AM
 
16,019 posts, read 19,693,299 times
Reputation: 26200
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuppaTea View Post
Also, I found this post of hers from August....

"I love this thread. I didn't think I had anything to contribute until i read about the cabana boy. Oh My God. I had a cabana boy. It was the most wonderful thing."

So, she's apparently a bit less sad than she claims....and a bit more outgoing, shall we say, as well....
I see from your ID that you are new to CD. Reading the TOS would be useful IMO

Perhaps "had" simply means had someone to wait on her....not what you are inferring.

Some folks take cynicism to new levels. I think that reflects their own frame of mind, more than the one they intend to demean.

Perhaps add something to the discourse, rather than derail a useful thread.

Besides the OP there are likely others who will benefit from the posts and comments in this thread.

Are you intending to demean all of us?

Last edited by JanND; 10-09-2016 at 08:15 AM..
 
Old 10-09-2016, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,671 posts, read 3,248,729 times
Reputation: 11956
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I see from your ID that you are new to CD. Reading the TOS would be useful IMO

Perhaps "had" simply means had someone to wait on her....not what you are inferring.

Some folks take cynicism to new levels. I think that reflects their own frame of mind, more than the one they intend to demean.

Perhaps add something to the discourse, rather than derail a useful thread.

Besides the OP there are likely others who will benefit from the posts and comments in this thread.

Are you intending to demean all of us?

I think tea has demeaned herself. I believe most of us can see right through her.

Every time I read one of tea's posts, I sense a true problem.
 
Old 10-09-2016, 09:45 AM
 
4,750 posts, read 4,032,774 times
Reputation: 9952
Quote:
Originally Posted by thenwhatareyou View Post
It never occurred to me that this thread would generate such a response.

I'm not laughing or too busy for city data, I'm still trying to figure it out. I have good days and bad days.

I'm longing for the warmth of having someone to talk to and hold me in his arms and dance in that little extra space in the dining room while he hummed in my ear. Someone to tell me I left my wet towel on the bathroom floor. Someone to walk behind me in the kitchen and clean up the flour off the floor while I'm baking a cake. Someone to walk the dogs with. To pull the cat's tail when she walks by. Someone to dislike my mother and embrace my daughter.

Do I want to be a greeter at Walmart. No! Do I want to sit alone every day. No. Do I want another great love. Yes. Has anyone found two great loves in their life?
You are going to have to venture further than your small town & homebody relatives. Use it as a base, but get out of town. I would not bother with dating sites, instead go with interests. Developing a batch of friends to do things with could easily result in meeting new people & then perhaps romance.

Look online for a travel club, maybe one specifically geared to an interest of yours. We have a friend who is a widow in tiny small town & she travels the world to exotic spots with a travel club.

Also look for community college or adult education classes to take or weekend workshops for something new. Many universities have outreach programs which include travel opportunities, as do museums. Become a member of an interesting museum or two & get the newsletter.

Bookstores host interesting authors. Coffee shops & art galleries sometimes have music. There are festivals in every American town at every time of year...go to some. Take a camera & be a photographer instead of a person alone with no purpose.

Cooking classes are everywhere and for all types of cuisine...google is your friend.

How about starting a blog for your cooking & baking? Or writing a cookbook? Or teaching an adult ed class?

Once you start getting out & about, your life will develop a momentum of its own. Good luck & report back.

PS. My great aunt outlived 3 husbands & lived to 99. She considered each a great love. There is no limit on great loves.

Last edited by historyfan; 10-09-2016 at 09:50 AM.. Reason: spelling
 
Old 10-09-2016, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,243 posts, read 8,538,301 times
Reputation: 35674
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tominftl View Post
Go and get a cute little puppy.. Since I got my dog I think I know everyone in the neighborhood. Someone is usually outside and they tell you every thing....
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuppaTea View Post
Not the best suggestion. She left her dogs behind when she sold her house. I don't think she should get any more pets, and especially not just as a tool to meet people.
Dog people are VERY social - if you have a dog you are as good as GOLD to them! But...then it's a PIA if you want to go on a cruise, for example! Have to board them or pay to have someone check on them so that can get expensive.
 
Old 10-09-2016, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,680 posts, read 19,984,454 times
Reputation: 45745
To put this in perspective: your situation happens to people all the time, in different age groups. You need to sit and think how you want your life to be, how to go about it, and then do it. I'm not minimizing the effort, and that it can be very scary.
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Old 10-09-2016, 12:21 PM
 
172 posts, read 140,201 times
Reputation: 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I see from your ID that you are new to CD. Reading the TOS would be useful IMO

Perhaps "had" simply means had someone to wait on her....not what you are inferring.

Some folks take cynicism to new levels. I think that reflects their own frame of mind, more than the one they intend to demean.

Perhaps add something to the discourse, rather than derail a useful thread.

Besides the OP there are likely others who will benefit from the posts and comments in this thread.

Are you intending to demean all of us?
I'm not new to CD. I am aware of the terms of service.

I absolutely think that many of the posts here will be very, very helpful to people now and in the future. I said nothing at all about other posters.

However, there is something that does not ring true with the OP and I stated that. It's this "Hey, I'm back! I just went on a cruise! I'm back already and all's right with the world!" (Paraphrasing, btw.) In a matter of days. Please read the posts.

So, out of curiosity I read thru the OP's previous posts on other threads and found some pretty telling things. She herself demeaned other people by criticising them for preferring one level homes. She uses off color language which sort of turns me off, there was a post that was sooo crude and crass that it was removed by a MOD.

I am a very active animal lover and advocate and so when people willingly leave behind their pets it says something about them. If there were no choice, I could understand, but in her case she claims she just thought they'd prefer to stay in the old home rather than with their owner (her) whom I'm sure they loved. That is more traumatic than moving to a different location.

She has sworn at me twice and said "F.U." to me privately. These have been reported and removed.

I have received a large number of messages agreeing with me and kudos for my comments and observations on this thread.

So, I just find the OP insincere and offensive and that's my prerogative.

And I'm all for people adopting pets, believe me, but only for the right reason and only if you intend to make a committment to them.
 
Old 10-09-2016, 12:26 PM
 
172 posts, read 140,201 times
Reputation: 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
I think tea has demeaned herself. I believe most of us can see right through her.

Every time I read one of tea's posts, I sense a true problem.
I think you meant to say that every time you look in the mirror you see a true problem.

Your comment is a prime example of what's known as "projection". Look it up.

Oh, and my username is CuppaTea, not "tea".
 
Old 10-09-2016, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,671 posts, read 3,248,729 times
Reputation: 11956
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuppaTea View Post
I think you meant to say that every time you look in the mirror you see a true problem.

Your comment is a prime example of what's known as "projection". Look it up.

Oh, and my username is CuppaTea, not "tea".
C-Tea, I know what projection means. I recognize it when I see/read it.

There is something I would strongly advise to you but knowing the mods, they would be obligated to remove it, I understand their position.

I just cannot for the life of me understand why this poster has made you so angry. Is it ringing a bell for you, reminding you of someone or perhaps even yourself? Why is what she does/writes really any of your concern? Is it because you can't allow other people to be different from you? After you were made, was the mold thrown away? (One can only hope so).

You've said plenty about how you feel. Let it go.
 
Old 10-09-2016, 02:23 PM
 
172 posts, read 140,201 times
Reputation: 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
C-Tea, I know what projection means. I recognize it when I see/read it.

There is something I would strongly advise to you but knowing the mods, they would be obligated to remove it, I understand their position.

I just cannot for the life of me understand why this poster has made you so angry. Is it ringing a bell for you, reminding you of someone or perhaps even yourself? Why is what she does/writes really any of your concern? Is it because you can't allow other people to be different from you? After you were made, was the mold thrown away? (One can only hope so).

You've said plenty about how you feel. Let it go.
Blah, blah, blah.
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