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Anyway...users come in all ages. I knew one back when I was in my 40s. I was working, she was on welfare with a young kid who gave her a hard time. I offered some advice on the kid, was nice to the kid when I saw her, gave them rides a few times--and then the mother asked me to tutor the kid in reading. When I asked how much the tutoring job would pay, she shut up. (I MIGHT have helped for free but this woman was a user and not a very nice person.)
I recently cut off a "friendship" because this woman friend who has been married five times and is on her own for the first time at age 75, has asked me for five years to teach her how to use a computer. She has the computer, her man friend paid for wifi for her so I said, "Just set up a time and I'll come over and teach you."
She never took me up on it. We used to order vitamins online together but I would get stuck with it on my cc. (She's one of these people who doesn't "believe in credit cards.") Yes, she would pay me back, but she took it for granted. Then she started calling me up with, "Since you have a computer, could you look something up for me?" I did it a few times. The last time she called I was in the process of rushing out of the house and told her I didn't have time. I haven't heard from her since.
My next line to her would have been, "They have free classes in computers at the senior center if you really want to learn."
Now I definitely do not mind being neighborly and helping someone who is very old or infirm and can't do anything back for me. There are people who are in that unfortunate position. As long as they express gratitude, I don't mind. It's the takers and users that I refuse to help. The people who act like poor, helpless little victims and they ask me because it's just easier to ask ME.
OP - I would have just cut the board for the neighbor but start distancing yourself from her if she is becoming a leech. I finally had to tell one of these leeches this week that I am just not the friend she is looking for because of her demands on my time. Told her I thought we should end this friendship. It was hard but I feel relief knowing she isn't going to be blowing up my phone all the time with her texts and calls.
Another neighbor became friendly with me and then started asking for rides to all her doctor's appointments. That stopped when I got a part time job and just wasn't available any longer.
It's a shame that some of these women become leeches because I have no problem helping someone as long as they don't take advantage. These kind of people make the rest of us very leery about offering ANY kind of help which is a damn shame because widows should help each other as much as possible in my opinion.
Oy vey...after reading all 5 pages, I can sooooooo see this happening to us when we move to Florida where we will have neighbors. My husband is the friendliest, most giving person EVER. He won't say no to anybody. We currently live out in the country with NO neighbors, but in Florida, we're going to have neighbors on both sides AND across the street. The last time we were down, we were standing in front of the driveway with the neighbors, who luckily for us are GREAT people, and the old couple from down the street who the neighbor calls "the crazy people" came wandering up to see what we were up to. Their property is over run with foliage and there are huge potted plants sitting every where as well. I can just see them asking my husband to trim their shrubs or move pots for them.......
You need to nip that in the bud otherwise you won't be able to enjoy your retirement. I call these people "time bandits" especially the ones that never shut up or who accost you while you're checking your mail, walking your dog or just laying out by the pool.
She and her husband have no problem with not paying their taxes or hiring people to do jobs for them and then refusing to pay them or even work out a payment schedule.
Now, is she caring about the fact that I also make the same amount of money as her, and I have had to sacrifice to buy this saw and the blade that goes with it? Nope. She's expecting me to absorb the cost of the saw and the wear on the blade, and spend my free time helping her meet her goals - while not caring about mine whatsoever.
What's so funny here, too, is that we have had conversations where I have said that I like a relationship to be equal - tit for tat. So, if I give someone a ride, for example, they give me something of equal value in return. She has said multiple times that she doesn't like to keep score. Well, now I know why LOL. People who want more than they give don't want to keep score.
I didn't read all the responses in the thread... but seriously? You already bought the saw. And you're expecting her to pay you for "wear" on the blade for making one cut?
It doesn't sound like you're a good neighbor, to be honest. Complaining about the wear on a saw blade used to cut 1 board 1 time seems incredibly petty to me. I suggest you try being neighborly and see where that gets you, rather than you keeping score. Otherwise, move somewhere where you are not the most able bodied person there.
Not sure how the presidential candidate figures into a retirement forum...
Most Americans "Avoid" taxes.
"Evading" taxes is criminal... avoiding through applying the tax laws isn't and I would go so far as saying it is required when running a company.
I've got a contract currently with a roofer... the company did 90% of the job but has not been back since August... I'm not making my retention payment until the job is completed per the contract as I fully intend to hold the roofer responsible.
Human Nature is what it is... fool me once shame on you... fool me twice shame on me.
I didn't read all the responses in the thread... but seriously? You already bought the saw. And you're expecting her to pay you for "wear" on the blade for making one cut?
It doesn't sound like you're a good neighbor, to be honest. Complaining about the wear on a saw blade used to cut 1 board 1 time seems incredibly petty to me. I suggest you try being neighborly and see where that gets you, rather than you keeping score. Otherwise, move somewhere where you are not the most able bodied person there.
She said it was a Dremel hand saw. I have a Dremel rotary tool and it's more for small jobs. Not sure what this hand saw can handle and how big the blade is. It's not a regular sized circular saw that could cut a board in seconds.
OP - I would have just cut the board for the neighbor but start distancing yourself from her if she is becoming a leech. I finally had to tell one of these leeches this week that I am just not the friend she is looking for because of her demands on my time. Told her I thought we should end this friendship. It was hard but I feel relief knowing she isn't going to be blowing up my phone all the time with her texts and calls.
Another neighbor became friendly with me and then started asking for rides to all her doctor's appointments. That stopped when I got a part time job and just wasn't available any longer.
It's a shame that some of these women become leeches because I have no problem helping someone as long as they don't take advantage. These kind of people make the rest of us very leery about offering ANY kind of help which is a damn shame because widows should help each other as much as possible in my opinion.
Not just widows, but I agree with the main idea.
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