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Old 10-10-2016, 07:56 AM
 
4,315 posts, read 2,524,483 times
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........"too many people playing tit for tat "......


most people who say " don't keep score" are the ones who are ahead 100-0 and doesn't want the other person to notice it because their ....using...of that person might come to a halt.
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Old 10-10-2016, 08:26 AM
 
2,690 posts, read 1,626,717 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
........"too many people playing tit for tat "......


most people who say " don't keep score" are the ones who are ahead 100-0 and doesn't want the other person to notice it because their ....using...of that person might come to a halt.
LOL "most people."

"A lot of people are saying"...

You sound about as factual as Trump does.
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Old 10-10-2016, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,053 posts, read 17,361,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katana49 View Post
Seems to me that the people complaining are the ones who expect something in return if they do anything for another person.

Haven't you people ever done something just to be nice to someone else? Without any expectation of some sort of payback or payment? This is a big problem with society today, too many people play tit for tat. It's not neighborly, and it just makes you look petty in most cases.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
You are missing the entire point !


It isn't about doing things for people and keeping score !


I took the OP to be talking about people who expect/demand you do things for them.


I am beginning to think lots of the people bashing the OP are ....users... and the exact type of person the OP is referring to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
Actually, I doubt .....users......even realize they are users.


The ones I have met presume it is such a great pleasure for other people to accommodate their demands.
Katana, I also do a lot of favors for people and I really do not expect anything in return, but there reaches a point when someone is just taking advantage of you that you have to stop and say "No". Just like users usually do when you ask them to do one small thing to help you after you did 15 or 20 larger things to help them.

You are probably thinking of normal friendships where the favors end up pretty even in the end, or the person that you are doing favors for is grateful and says "Thank you".

The users that some of the posters are referring do are always asking, or even demanding, that you do extra things for them but would never, ever, say "Thank You" or reciprocate by doing something that you needed help with.
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Old 10-10-2016, 09:47 AM
 
2,690 posts, read 1,626,717 times
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I guess to that I can only say "move to the South."

I've never encountered neighbors who are that rude and always demanding help with something. I've had to deal with people like that at work in the past, but it's pretty easy to spot these people.

Where I live, we had 4 neighbors bring us over baked goods when we first moved in. One even brought us over a brisket, because they were sure that we probably hadn't unpacked our kitchen things yet and wouldn't be cooking for ourselves yet, and a brisket is a helluva lot better than fast food!

I lent my neighbor my lawnmower when theirs crapped out in the middle of doing their yard; they returned it promptly with no issues.

When our plumbing sprung a leak and did $30k of water damage to our house, our neighbors saw all the remediation companies, carpet installers, etc, coming and going out of our house, and they asked if there was anything they could help with, like watch our dog and get him out of the house, let us use their laundry machines, etc.

Our block holds regular potlucks in the summer months and we all meet up in our cul-de-sac, just talking and catching up. I'm aware not all neighborhoods are like this, because it seems the number of people looking out for each other is less and less every year. It's sad that more people don't know what good neighbors are like. There is no tit-for-tat, we all help each other when needed. Pretty simple, really.
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Old 10-10-2016, 09:57 AM
 
4,315 posts, read 2,524,483 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Katana, I also do a lot of favors for people and I really do not expect anything in return, but there reaches a point when someone is just taking advantage of you that you have to stop and say "No". Just like users usually do when you ask them to do one small thing to help you after you did 15 or 20 larger things to help them.

You are probably thinking of normal friendships where the favors end up pretty even in the end, or the person that you are doing favors for is grateful and says "Thank you".

The users that some of the posters are referring do are always asking, or even demanding, that you do extra things for them but would never, ever, say "Thank You" or reciprocate by doing something that you needed help with.


( last sentence of 1st paragraph )


"when you ask them to do one small thing "

a handy man near me, single/divorced..........asked the following favors...which I obliged


#1........drive him 45 miles at midnight to an Amtrak station
#2........drive 3 miles twice a day to feed, water, and check on his dog for a week


( all the while I was caring for my bed ridden wife who was dying )


#3.......(shortly after she died ).....he needed a ride 30 miles away to get his truck which broke down ( my car, my time, my gas )




I then asked, later, if he could help me readjust a door.........20 minutes
He did and then said after getting done that his rate for handyman is $25 per hour with a one hour minimum charge. When I laughed and asked if he was serious, he said " favors are one thing, business is business "


I handed him the $25 check and told him never to stop by or call again .

Last edited by David A Stone; 10-10-2016 at 10:30 AM..
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Old 10-10-2016, 11:27 AM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,313,328 times
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I keep in mind the magnitude of the request... something like picking up the neighbors newspapers or caring for a pet for a week is no big deal...

Excavation for a new pool is entirely different as is asking to borrow my Backhoe...
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Old 10-10-2016, 11:45 AM
 
5,436 posts, read 2,830,519 times
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Oh, man, that depends on the pet or animal(s).

I enjoyed feeding and watering neighbors' horses at our old home. Taking care of one dog whom the owner merely asked me to crate at bedtime (a friend did the rest) was also NBD, though she had all sorts of tricks to avoid going in.e

But some of the pampered pets I have seen being tended here...no WAY would I take care of them.
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Old 10-10-2016, 11:52 AM
 
3,196 posts, read 1,815,471 times
Reputation: 8438
Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
( last sentence of 1st paragraph )


"when you ask them to do one small thing "

a handy man near me, single/divorced..........asked the following favors...which I obliged


#1........drive him 45 miles at midnight to an Amtrak station
#2........drive 3 miles twice a day to feed, water, and check on his dog for a week


( all the while I was caring for my bed ridden wife who was dying )


#3.......(shortly after she died ).....he needed a ride 30 miles away to get his truck which broke down ( my car, my time, my gas )




I then asked, later, if he could help me readjust a door.........20 minutes
He did and then said after getting done that his rate for handyman is $25 per hour with a one hour minimum charge. When I laughed and asked if he was serious, he said " favors are one thing, business is business "


I handed him the $25 check and told him never to stop by or call again .
What a piece of garbage. I'm glad you freed yourself of him.
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Old 10-10-2016, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,028 posts, read 21,748,212 times
Reputation: 22214
Quote:
Originally Posted by david a stone View Post
( last sentence of 1st paragraph )


"when you ask them to do one small thing "

a handy man near me, single/divorced..........asked the following favors...which i obliged


#1........drive him 45 miles at midnight to an amtrak station
#2........drive 3 miles twice a day to feed, water, and check on his dog for a week


( all the while i was caring for my bed ridden wife who was dying )


#3.......(shortly after she died ).....he needed a ride 30 miles away to get his truck which broke down ( my car, my time, my gas )




i then asked, later, if he could help me readjust a door.........20 minutes
he did and then said after getting done that his rate for handyman is $25 per hour with a one hour minimum charge. When i laughed and asked if he was serious, he said " favors are one thing, business is business "


i handed him the $25 check and told him never to stop by or call again .
wow!
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Old 10-10-2016, 12:55 PM
 
8,204 posts, read 11,918,472 times
Reputation: 17999
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
The users that some of the posters are referring do are always asking, or even demanding, that you do extra things for them but would never, ever, say "Thank You" or reciprocate by doing something that you needed help with.
No, that's not what the posters are saying. They're saying that they would never lend a stepladder (to anyone), or they would never lend tools (to anyone), or that they would never perform a favor (for anyone) without ensuring that they received something in return.

Their philosophy is not limited to users (as you describe them) but to any and all fellow human beings with whom they come in contact. And they think that those of us who do perform favors without expecting or receiving something in return are suckers.
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