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Old 10-05-2016, 09:33 AM
 
4,315 posts, read 2,539,827 times
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give an inch and some people take a foot.
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,452 posts, read 7,956,638 times
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I had a friend like that but I considered her the mother I always wanted and never had. I took over everything for her after her husband died. John and I were painting walls, cleaning gutters, cutting her grass and I took over her check book and balanced it every month. I would drive 45 minutes one way to pick her up on every holiday that I was off so she wouldn't be alone. I gave her a hand, she took the whole body. It finally ended when she said something so outrageous about John. I reminded her of all the things he did for her and I walked out and never talked to her again. She never called to apologize and she died about 4 years later.

Then there's "Thelma." She lives one block over and I met her late at night on a dog walkies. We became fast friends. She was a nurse and was quite ill at the time I met her. I helped her a lot and she became more and more needy and some what demanding of my time. She is very sick now and just too hard to deal with. I finally told her that I was sorry but I just couldn't help her anymore. I miss her, but the friend I knew is already gone and been replaced by a crazy lady.

That's two times out of two that I've had a bad experience with single needy old ladies. I have vowed never to be like that or take advantage of anyone in my life when I'm old and needy. I swear, I'll just do without before I become like that. I guess I can add needy old ladies to the stay out of my universe list. There's alcoholics, mentally ill, now needy old ladies.
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:19 AM
 
3,354 posts, read 3,062,612 times
Reputation: 4885
Quote:
Originally Posted by N.Cal View Post
Buck up and tell him you are very comfortable and happy with Tour beliefs and you like spending time with him, except when he brings up religion, so you would appreciate it if that subject were off limits. He will only continue until you Nippet in the bud.


Jeez - typing on the phone!


Your beliefs (not the Tour de France like my phone thinks)
nip it (what is a nippet?!)
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,093 posts, read 17,432,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Javacoffee View Post
Do we have the same neighbor? Ours must think it's everyone elses responsibility to provide for her.... cat food (she feeds strays and owns 12 of her own), carrots and potatoes (she constantly scouts the entire neighborhood for free ones)... and yes, she has twice asked to borrow our electric saw so that she can trim the trees of friends and family. We refuse on the saw. When she borrows things, she doesn't return them for months, or she returns them broken with only an apology.

One night she came begging. She had no food to feed her daughter, she pleaded, and her check didn't come in for a few more days. Like a fool, I handed her 40 bucks. Two days later she threw a huge backyard BBQ for her family and friends. My husband and I weren't even invited.

Though we are still polite, we have distanced ourselves from her. We now have no problem telling her no, no matter what she requests of us...and no matter how simple the request my seem. Some people are leeches with insatiable appetites.
Wow! Conning you into giving you money because her daughter is hungry and then throwing a party with that money! I would have been irate!
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:45 AM
 
5,480 posts, read 2,865,525 times
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The pushy hinting around is by no means restricted to senior single women. I've had it come from both men and women, both younger and older, and all married.

The thing I most hate is when my own husband tells someone, "If you need anything just ask us." It is the US part I take exception to. He once offered that I (not him) would do oil changes for someone in MY garage space. (I always change the oil in my own vehicle.) He of course thinks it was just a joke, but I could see the wheels turning in the offeree's mind. When he earlier made the Just Ask Us For Anything offer to someone else, I had already done some chores for said person. Once without their asking me, and the second time for different and more lengthy work at their request, which I was happy to do. They had asked ME directly, which is how it should be. Later on, they called and left my husband a msg asking that I drive them somewhere a couple hours away. The impression I got was that they thought he was Lord of the Hill. I was so disgusted I never called back. My husband said I should, but I said they had called HIM and HE should tell them any favors should be asked directly, not via a third party.
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:52 AM
 
663 posts, read 482,219 times
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Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
The pushy hinting around is by no means restricted to senior single women. I've had it come from both men and women, both younger and older, and all married.
I have to agree. My ex began talking about me taking care of him after a major surgery he may have to get. This, from a man with LTHC insurance and at least half a mill in stocks, etc. Cheap as dirt though.

I said. "Well, I could use the money."

Haven't heard a word about it since.
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:58 AM
 
16,720 posts, read 14,748,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crusinsusan View Post
My ex began talking about me taking care of him after a major surgery he may have to get. This, from a man with LTHC insurance and at least half a mill in stocks, etc. Cheap as dirt though.
Was this while he was your husband? Because I always thought that was part of the package deal.
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Old 10-05-2016, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,093 posts, read 17,432,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crusinsusan View Post
I have to agree. My ex began talking about me taking care of him after a major surgery he may have to get. This, from a man with LTHC insurance and at least half a mill in stocks, etc. Cheap as dirt though.

I said. "Well, I could use the money."

Haven't heard a word about it since.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Was this while he was your husband? Because I always thought that was part of the package deal.
She said "ex" in her post.
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Old 10-05-2016, 11:06 AM
 
11,954 posts, read 20,434,323 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
I gotta say, I'm with your neighbor on this one. I couldn't imagine keeping a running tab with neighbors, friends, family, etc., on whether I've provided more favors for each of them or whether they've provided more for me.

If you expect a quid pro quo for any favors that you do, then in effect, you aren't really doing anyone any favors at all. All you've done is provide a service for which you expect payment in return, albeit at some future date.
I understand, but you're missing the point. These aren't friends, they're users. There's never a return in kind. We are put here on earth to serve their needs, our needs don't matter.


I've got one of these. She's increasingly alone, and doesn't get why. And forget telling her. She'll turn on you like a rabid dog. Seen it happen more than once. My saving grace is she pays me for my time.
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Old 10-05-2016, 11:07 AM
 
663 posts, read 482,219 times
Reputation: 1700
covex...Nope. Divorce was 10 years ago. The request was 6 months ago.
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