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Seems to me that the people complaining are the ones who expect something in return if they do anything for another person.
Haven't you people ever done something just to be nice to someone else? Without any expectation of some sort of payback or payment? This is a big problem with society today, too many people play tit for tat. It's not neighborly, and it just makes you look petty in most cases.
I do it all the time. But you're missing the point. It's not the one off being helpful, it's not a friend helping a friend through something horrible...it's the users.
Like woman across the street from us who DEMANDED we give her all the fruit off our kiwi vine. And pitched a hissy when I said no. And then came into our property while we were at work and took them anyway....and a lot of the avocados.
And who screamed at us if we parked one car on the street in front of our house because she needed ALL the street parking and we had a driveway.
I've run into a ton of users...and I find it stunning that posters never ever run into people like this. Makes me wonder..
I'm not missing the point. Of course there are people who take advantage of others. But that fact is, most of the people in this thread complaining are only doing so because after they helped someone, they expected help or something in return.
The ironic thing is that if all of you simply helped others with no expectations of reciprocation, you wouldn't be so tightly wound up about this crap.
I do it all the time. But you're missing the point. It's not the one off being helpful, it's not a friend helping a friend through something horrible...it's the users.
Like woman across the street from us who DEMANDED we give her all the fruit off our kiwi vine. And pitched a hissy when I said no. And then came into our property while we were at work and took them anyway....and a lot of the avocados.
And who screamed at us if we parked one car on the street in front of our house because she needed ALL the street parking and we had a driveway.
I've run into a ton of users...and I find it stunning that posters never ever run into people like this. Makes me wonder..
Your example has nothing to do with helping others. What you're talking about is simply rude behavior, and theft.
We got a new neighbor who was like that. He was a real Mr lonely hearts but was always there wanting something. Came over to get acquainted and asked if we could loan him a riding lawnmower until he bought his. This was the first meeting.
He wanted to barter some services and started offering things he could do. None of which he ever came through with. More and more he would show up in our backyard. That was very upsetting to me to come into my kitchen in my nightgown having a morning cup of coffee and here he was. One day we had gone to a meeting and to lunch with friends. He was on the back patio and demanded to know where we had been because he wanted to shoot the s..t.
We watched his dog a couple of times when they left for the day and then it started to be every weekend. Being animal lovers we didn't mind but then he came over and asked why we didn't just call humane society to come and get our cats. I told him they were our pets. He then started complaining that our cats made his dog bark. I have known of people complaining of a barking dog but never one complaining about their own dog barking.
One of our toppers was his call after we had gone to bed to come and pick him up at a bar because his car would not start.
We could not walk to the mailbox without his following and talking of how he one upped some salesman at Lowe's. Asked to be driven to Lowe's once and was so embarrassing we knew not to do that again.
I caught on to him way sooner than my husband but one day he had had enough too. The guy started piling wood up on our fence and then started burning letting black smoke fill up our house. I would come home and find him parked in our driveway. I asked him not to do that and he pretended to think our driveway was his because we were right next door.
When we cut him off completely he went to a neighbor who told me they didn't mind helping him because it was just being neighborly. Just like people on here. They were doing the pet sitting and taking him places when we moved.
I'm not missing the point. Of course there are people who take advantage of others. But that fact is, most of the people in this thread complaining are only doing so because after they helped someone, they expected help or something in return.
The ironic thing is that if all of you simply helped others with no expectations of reciprocation, you wouldn't be so tightly wound up about this crap.
But, then, why aren't there people lined up outside my door asking me if they can do me favors?
Why are they, instead, lined up wanting me to do something for them?
I want it to be the other way around. If it's so great for humans to give to others, where are the ones out there wanting to do something for me? With no expectation of anything in return?
I'm not missing the point. Of course there are people who take advantage of others. But that fact is, most of the people in this thread complaining are only doing so because after they helped someone, they expected help or something in return.
The ironic thing is that if all of you simply helped others with no expectations of reciprocation, you wouldn't be so tightly wound up about this crap.
You are still missing the point. MY complaint had to do with helping--unasked--one time, followed by the same people asking for something more, which I was happy to do, and then being latched onto for more help. It was a case of freely giving an inch, then willingly giving some more, and next feeling taken advantage of. And that is where I ended it. Not once did I ever expect anything back from them other than to not be viewed as a personal attendant.
I have helped people and they have helped me, though it is not a regular occurrence. I think it depends upon a "type" and we don't know of one's character, initially. I know those having been in this building for several years. People generally keep to themselves here, but are friendly if passing.
One guy I have known a long while had offered me a couple of modems, which he asked nothing for. I had asked for his help once in removing an old window blinds unit with some ridiculous screws I was unable to unscrew parts of. (Otherwise, I have removed and installed all kinds of window hardware, myself). I once took him to pick up his car at a nearby mechanic. I have offered he and his female roommate something I have baked or cooked as they have given me some. (Once though, after I had loaned him a couple of DVD's, when I later asked for, acted like he was unaware of). But this same man had given an older man a ride to a hospital and has assisted other neighbors, having a truck. I drove another older male neighbor to pick up his car once also and don't mind...I might need a favor one day.
A long-time female neighbor, my age, has been friendly when meeting outside. I thought she might like to chat more often, then asked me to answer some ballot questionnaires she had taken on. Then, after seeing how I had installed curtain rods, blinds, etc., she had asked if she might borrow some tools. I went ahead and she returned them shortly. She later needed them again for another window and she returned them.
Once when she would be out of town a couple of weeks, she had asked if I could start her older car regularly in order to keep the battery up. She expected that it would need to be running for 10 minutes, each time. I felt funny about regularly sitting out in her car in the heat, when other neighbors would know it was not mine or having to say "she was out of town". I didn't know how to respond immediately... she let it go, but I don't think she appreciated it. I called her a couple of times, discussing upstairs noisy neighbors or just being conversational, but she does not reach out. I realized, unless she needs something...that is what she is about.
There was a loony-tunes guy who, before I knew what was happening, had asked me to take a couple of photos of him and then email, so he could post online. Then he asked for more of this. I declined. A later time, he asked if I could drive him MILES away from here to go look at a car. I said I could not. I think he knocked other times, too. Oh, and get this, when the aforementioned neighbor guy once needed a quick local ride somewhere from HIM, this guy said "Take the bus". He was a weirdo.
When elsewhere in my 20's, my first experiences were a man who had borrowed a screw-driver and also, loaning his daughter a dress... and didn't get either back (he might have asked for something which I declined). Then, a female neighbor I was closer to asked if she could borrow clothing for an occasion. (I think it is odd to "borrow" clothing). I went ahead, but she didn't return it, seeing her leave her apartment wearing it other times. I don't recall what occurred. She also had borrowed a fry pan...which, when I pushed for it back, gave it to me with food residue on! I never gave her anything else, of course. OH, one chickie there who lived with her boyfriend would come and ask me for eggs and such, since she "needed some protein". (This was new to me...but of course, I stopped doing so). I also found out in my young days not to loan books or records. But much later on, after all that, I loaned a guy a lamp, finding it on my doorstep as I returned one day when he had moved, so that was surprising.
Sorry for the length. I just wanted to say, not everyone who asks for something will habitually do so and most people are not like this, being a particular personality. I like to be neighborly and do not mind a random request, but it is those "repeat offenders" to watch out for.
You are still missing the point. MY complaint had to do with helping--unasked--one time, followed by the same people asking for something more, which I was happy to do, and then being latched onto for more help. It was a case of freely giving an inch, then willingly giving some more, and next feeling taken advantage of. And that is where I ended it. Not once did I ever expect anything back from them other than to not be viewed as a personal attendant.
Good for you. You're not one of the "most" people. Kudos.
When I was a lot younger, there was this incredibly attractive young lady who I worked with at the private school. She used to wear short shorts when we worked weekends, and a very very small white bikini at the school pool.
I remember(and this is almost 50 years ago) that when ever she came to my office during the week, I was happy to help her do anything she needed.
I saw her about 40 years later. She had not aged well.
I really think it depends on a lot of things if you will help someone. At my age now, there are still people like that, that if I helped them too much, my wife would move to her bad side(and age has been quite kind to my wife, way more than the girl from 50 years ago). I can think of one right now who most surely made a pact with the devil.
I grew up in a rural area where most of the residents were small time farmers. Everyone pitched in to help everyone else haul hay and harvest crops. Then a new neighbor moved in who had a wife from Germany. I was only about 10 at the time but I remember that she was hot, always wearing short shorts and halter tops. Anytime she came to our place needing help with something, my dad would drop whatever he was doing to help her. This did not go unnoticed by my mom and I remember the fights the two of them having over it. After a couple of years they moved away and I never saw her again. That was probably best but I always remembered the hottest neighbor we ever had.
But, then, why aren't there people lined up outside my door asking me if they can do me favors?
Why are they, instead, lined up wanting me to do something for them?
I want it to be the other way around. If it's so great for humans to give to others, where are the ones out there wanting to do something for me? With no expectation of anything in return?
Boy, you have no idea how you come across to other people, do you?
Here's my previous post again, it seems it addresses your subsequent post perfectly... again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katana49
Seems to me that the people complaining are the ones who expect something in return if they do anything for another person.
Haven't you people ever done something just to be nice to someone else? Without any expectation of some sort of payback or payment? This is a big problem with society today, too many people play tit for tat. It's not neighborly, and it just makes you look petty in most cases.
So you're actively wanting other people to do things for you, yet you feel your neighbor should pay for wear and tear on a saw blade to make one cut. Gee, I have no idea why more people don't do things for you.
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But this same man had given an older man a ride to a hospital and has assisted other neighbors, having a truck. I drove another older male neighbor to pick up his car once also and don't mind...I might need a favor one day. 
He was a weirdo.
