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Old 10-11-2016, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,431,986 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josie13 View Post
The only way I can describe it is that, once a man has a new woman, he really doesn't care what becomes of his former woman. At all. In fact, normally he will fight to keep as much of the marital assets as possible for himself and the new woman. It's as if the former woman is dead to him, even though they loved each other and built a life and family together for a long time. I can't understand it. Maybe a man who has ditched his long-term wife for a new model could chime in?
No misandry in this thread. Nope. None at all.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,431,986 times
Reputation: 15678
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.cool View Post
When my Dad died, my mother didn't know if she had enough money in the checking account to go to the grocery store. Like many their age, he took care of the finances and she took care of the house and kids. He also sold off a LOT of acreage without telling her. He was mortgaged to the hilt, and also co-signed for my evil sister so HER house was on mother's mortgage as well. The only reason she's not destitute is he had some stock in their small town independent bank that was later bought out by M&I. He also had a fear of ending up in a bad nursing home so he bought them both LTC insurance, which Mom is still living off of in her very nice assisted living facility.
As for myself, DH and I have our retirement all planned out. BUT ever since I started reading this forum, I've had to start thinking "What if he dies? Will I be okay?" I made an appointment with a retirement planning specialist as a result, and am hoping we have planned well enough that I would be okay if something happened to him. We also have a fabulous daughter with a wonderful fiance, so I wouldn't be a total Elder Orphan, BUT we live many miles apart!
I have a word of advice to you. There are many different types of retirement planners, and not all of them look out for *your* best interests. It is a regulated industry, and I recommend you seek the advice of a specific type of planner.

Seek the advice of a "fee only" advisor. This is different from a "fee based" advisor, and different from a "wealth advisor" who might work at a stock brokerages such as Morgan Stanley, Edward Jones or Merrill Lynch.

Please read Fee-Only Financial Advisors: What You Need to Know | Investopedia

DM me if you would like more information.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:23 AM
 
3,373 posts, read 3,782,718 times
Reputation: 4189
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
I suspect you could make your point without engaging in blatant gender-bashing and stereotyping.
I believe she was, unfortunately, speaking from personal experience. So..it is what it is.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:51 AM
 
5,425 posts, read 3,445,259 times
Reputation: 13698
Quote:
Originally Posted by josie13 View Post
The only way I can describe it is that, once a man has a new woman, he really doesn't care what becomes of his former woman. At all. In fact, normally he will fight to keep as much of the marital assets as possible for himself and the new woman. It's as if the former woman is dead to him, even though they loved each other and built a life and family together for a long time. I can't understand it. Maybe a man who has ditched his long-term wife for a new model could chime in?
I agree with Josie13 above at post #52 which she states very well. What she describes is true of many cases.

It is not misandry.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque NM
1,656 posts, read 1,522,222 times
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I graduated in 1973. We were not allowed to take shop or auto mechanics although I always requested auto mechanics as an elective just to make a point which annoyed my teachers. This was a mining community with a small "teacher's college". In 1978, one girl was allowed in the auto mechanics class and she was obviously chosen by the teacher based on looks and figure. I don't know when these courses were opened up to all girls. My hometown was and still is conservative and did not embrace feminism. Women were expected to work outside the home if needed but only to supplement their husband's larger salary and preferrably in a flexible job that would allow them to accommodate their children and stay home while their children were young.

My classmates generally did not go to college or attended only for a year or two. Many of the men went to work for the mines which paid very well in those days but started to close down 10-20 years later. Typically their wives worked office or service jobs. A few became realtors or worked in their family business or became small business owners (e.g., a floral shop).

Most non-teachers had to go away for college and get jobs elsewhere. Of the minority who graduated from college, nobody male or female went to a prestigious private university - a large out of state university at best. In my class of 185, two women became doctors - one a successful plastic surgeon. Both were from professional families. To my knowledge, I was the only female in my class to become an engineer which I am especially proud of as I come from a blue collar family. Also my siblings and cousins are the first generation of my family to attend college. Several female classmates became accountants, nurses, dental hygienists, etc. but the most popular profession was teaching. I am not aware of any lawyers.

I'd also like to add that my mother and aunts all worked outside the home. Mostly office jobs. Only one aunt was a SAHM. Even my grandmother worked once she was a widow - school cafeteria cook.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,628 posts, read 19,947,296 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I agree with Josie13 above at post #52 which she states very well. What she describes is true of many cases.

It is not misandry.

She is making a negative, blanket statement about men, all men.

It's misandry when you paint all of one gender as acting the same.



It is her experience, and the experience of some; but it is not a male trait or behavior.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:59 AM
 
5,425 posts, read 3,445,259 times
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I agree with Josie13 in that it is true of a good number of cases, but not all cases certainly.
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Old 10-11-2016, 12:03 PM
 
3,758 posts, read 10,633,208 times
Reputation: 6686
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
I have a word of advice to you. There are many different types of retirement planners, and not all of them look out for *your* best interests. It is a regulated industry, and I recommend you seek the advice of a specific type of planner.

Seek the advice of a "fee only" advisor. This is different from a "fee based" advisor, and different from a "wealth advisor" who might work at a stock brokerages such as Morgan Stanley, Edward Jones or Merrill Lynch.

Please read Fee-Only Financial Advisors: What You Need to Know | Investopedia

DM me if you would like more information.
Isn't there a new law regarding this? I heard just recently that one of the larger houses (in order to comply with the new law) was switching to fees based on a % of the assets under management (as opposed to fees / bonuses that were received from steering clients towards particular assets).
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Old 10-11-2016, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque NM
1,656 posts, read 1,522,222 times
Reputation: 3627
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I agree with Josie13 above at post #52 which she states very well. What she describes is true of many cases.

It is not misandry.
But isn't this true of divorced women too except perhaps the part about ditching their spouse for a new model? Most divorced women that I know also try to get as much of the financial assets as possible and then treat their ex as if he is dead except for the child support. It is as if he never existed.
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Old 10-11-2016, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,628 posts, read 19,947,296 times
Reputation: 45699
It's a divorce thing, not a gender thing.
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