U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-12-2016, 05:29 PM
 
8,870 posts, read 5,152,159 times
Reputation: 10160

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Well so far so good on my four accounts. It's been years.
I'm glad it's working out for you.

I had my fake account for about a month, then it got frozen unless I can provide documentation that "Petunia" is my real name. It isn't so I can't.

I certainly was not using the account to troll or stalk anyone. I have been participating in a particular online personal finance forum for about 15 years. A bunch of us wanted to have a "group" on FB, but not use our real names. It didn't work out very well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-12-2016, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Grove City, Ohio
10,142 posts, read 12,404,828 times
Reputation: 13992
Reading these threads I can not imagine the pain of a divorce.

My wife and I have been married over 40 years and we're in it together all the way to the end whatever that will be. We're best buddies and one of the biggest enjoyments I get is when I make her laugh which I try to do, at least once, every day.

For most of her married life she was a stay at home mom but she had the harder of the two jobs and no doubt she did better at raising the children than I would have by far. I worked hard, sometimes 10, 12 and even 14 hours a day but she worked harder and longer because her day never stopped.

I was earning the money but wasn't working near as hard as she was.

She made my life wonderful and I owe her which is why I am not drawing social security benefits and still working at 68. My goal is to make double sure if something happens to me financial hardship will not befall her because there is no way I could handle it knowing she had to get a job or work part time to "make do".

I owe it to her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-12-2016, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,463,702 times
Reputation: 15684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
What is this thing about financial literacy? Its basically just adding and subtracting. You have this much money, you spend this much and you have this much left over. They even teach negative numbers. So if you spend too much you have less than nothing.

The basics are there - its the self control that can't be taught - maybe it can who knows.
Well, off the top of my head, I can think of topics such as:

1) How & Why to balance a checkbook
2) What are all those deductions from a paycheck
3) Credit scores -- what are they and why they matter
4) Credit cards -- how to avoid getting trapped
5) What is a pension? What is an IRA? What is a 401K? What is a Roth-IRA? Roth-401K?
6) What are stocks? How do they work? How do I make money? How is the stock market completely different from gambling in Las Vegas?
7) What are bonds? How do they work? How do I make money? How do I get my money back?
8) How do you open an account at a stock brokerage? What is a portfolio?
9) Why you shouldn't pick individual stocks to invest in.
10) What is an ETF? What is a mutual fund? Why should you care?
11) What is a mortgage? How does it differ from credit card debt?
12) How do you save up for a car?
13) How do you save up for a down payment on a house?
14) Do I have to be a rocket scientist to file my own tax returns?


I could go on and on - and none of the above require advanced math - but they are practical everyday things that I wish even my own mom understood.

And... I guess I would add to that some rudimentary understanding of the plethora of jobs and careers where basic financial literacy is either helpful or mandatory.

And... if a student is interested in a career in finance, well, it helps to understand some math:

https://www.amazon.com/Mathematics-F...622/ref=sr_1_1

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2016, 06:09 AM
 
100 posts, read 65,522 times
Reputation: 377
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sand&Salt View Post
I, too, wish I had been taught financial matters. My father was well-off, but got offended when I tried to talk about money. I guess that's a generational (WW2) thing. Money was not discussed. He helped us set up a business of our own (way back in the '70's), but suggested I work "off the books" which went on for 8 years. So I lost all that potential SS. I wish I had known better. Dumb youth.
No, not a generational WW2 thing. I do financial counseling and see this all the time. I call it the "powdered butt syndrome." Once somebody has powdered your butt, they don't want your opinion on money or sex. My parents never talked about those subjects in our house either. I thought they had neither. Turns out they had both.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2016, 06:21 AM
 
100 posts, read 65,522 times
Reputation: 377
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
What is this thing about financial literacy? Its basically just adding and subtracting. You have this much money, you spend this much and you have this much left over. They even teach negative numbers. So if you spend too much you have less than nothing.

The basics are there - its the self control that can't be taught - maybe it can who knows.

I'm in a new chapter in my life and I am trying to volunteer more. The things I've seen just this week - the things people do to put their financial life on the skids - just astounds me.

I see this all the time. I had a company hire me to teach one of their employees financial literacy. Her husband always handled all the finances. She knew absolutely nothing about any of it. One night he died in his sleep at the age of 45. That's why it's important for both people in a marriage to be involved in the household finances. They should both get a vote on how the money is spent and they should come to agreement on their short and long-term goals.


People do things all the time that put their financial life on the skids. It's mainly because they were never taught how money works. It may seem elementary to many of us, but there are a lot of people out there who just don't know this stuff because mostly it's not taught in schools and in many cases, it's not taught in homes either. So they learn about financing from car dealers and they learn banking from some goober who is selling something. No wonder people get in a mess.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2016, 07:06 AM
 
1,089 posts, read 652,989 times
Reputation: 2339
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stratman View Post
People do things all the time that put their financial life on the skids. It's mainly because they were never taught how money works. It may seem elementary to many of us, but there are a lot of people out there who just don't know this stuff because mostly it's not taught in schools and in many cases, it's not taught in homes either. So they learn about financing from car dealers and they learn banking from some goober who is selling something. No wonder people get in a mess.
Some people just don't care either - for whatever reason I have no idea. My ex-wife was like that. Every single month that we were together I watched her balance the checkbook down to the exact penny. If her math was off and there was the odd penny or nickle missing, she'd do it over to find out where it went. So you'd think somebody like that would be good with money, right? Not always..

She absolutely HAD to have a new car.. High interest rate, long term payments - whatever. It didn't matter as long as she got the car. And her solution to a maxed out credit card was to simply get another one. Her boss called her into the office once and asked her why she wasn't contributing anything to the 401k too, and she called it "stupid." We actually had a fight once because my car was within a few payments of being paid off and she wanted to go car shopping. I was happy with my car though, and even happier at the thought of no payment. She didn't see it like that though lol.

When we went our separate ways I know she had 4-5 credit cards that were maxed out. And wherever she is today I'm sure she's driving a really nice car.... probably with a 60 month loan, but I know that doesn't matter lol.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2016, 11:25 AM
 
3,950 posts, read 3,270,657 times
Reputation: 11361
Literacy can be basically defined as the ability to read and write, it also is defined as competence with regard to specific knowledge. Posters are speaking of financial literacy, as though the bulk of America is capable of doing the required reading needed in order to have any understanding of the more complex financial matters that could actually make a difference in their lives. Reading the posts on various web forums is a true revelation of just how low the overall reading/writing/ and comprehension skills have sunk to.

I'd be the first to agree that one can learn a lot from reading, after all, university education consists of tons of reading and that says a lot when considering the necessary tools needed in order to gain a better understanding of how our world works. Reading and a solid understanding of basic math should be the absolute bottom of all public education. Allowing youth to enter this society as adults without first immersing them in these two aspects of knowledge is an unforgivable offense to society in general.

In my working years I was astounded by the lacking on the part of some of my co workers with regard to their inability to read and understand written engineering commands. Some actually asked for videos that could serve as a basis for referencing the required info necessary to do their work. Others mixed potentially dangerous chemicals together by using the same colored labels throughout the process, thinking that this would suffice as a substitute for reading from the engineering documents.

Luckily this practice was revealed as soon as it occurred and rectified. So, I was not surprised that these same people were not contributing to the 401k plan, nor were they able to make sense of an employee owned credit union, many thought their retirement and 401k was somehow connected to "their credit union acct.," even though they never signed up for one.

There was plenty of information available, but--it required reading. Now we see the abandonment of defined pension plans and a rise in their substitute, the 401k. Not an altogether good idea unless the participants understand the fund options and possess the knowledge necessary to manage their retirement. Many of these people were otherwise good employees and community members, but their inability to read well was a very real threat to their future.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2016, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,463,702 times
Reputation: 15684
I'd like to pass along an anecdote I found very informative.

Our daughter grew up in the suburbs of Silicon Valley, where we spent our working careers. Admittedly, Silicon Valley is very different from most of the rest of the world. Our daughter's friends in the neighborhood and in schools were very bright kids - and their parents in turn typically had PhDs in EE, ME, ChemE, Chemistry, Physics, Materials Science, Computer Engineering, Software Engineering, etc. It is the deep end of the gene pool. Many of these parents were born elsewhere (China, India, Pakistan, Singapore, Australia, Israel, Iran, Germany, Ireland, Brazil, etc etc) and came to the USA to pursue first their education and subsequently their fortunes in business.

When I'd ask my daughter's childhood friends "what do you want to be when you grow up," it is clear that these girls most important role models were their own mothers. In addition to the typical age-appropriate responses of Doctor or Teacher, these girls would say:
  • "I want to be a scientist,"
  • "I want to be an engineer,"
  • "I want to found a biotech company"
  • "I want to work at Facebook (or Google or fill-in-the-blank)"

The above are not the usual responses you expect from girls growing up.

Fast-forward to college. Our daughter was fortunate enough to be admitted to several Ivy League schools and chose Columbia in NYC. (As suburbanites, we thought perhaps we let her watch too many reruns of Sex & The City, but that's another topic altogether).

Early in her Freshman year, we visited & took her & about 6 or so of her suite-mates out to dinner (all smart Freshman women).

In an age appropriate way, I asked essentially "What do you want to do when you grow up". The responses were telling. It was as if I were speaking a foreign language. "Do? What do I want to do? Why, I'll marry a Columbia grad. He'll work on Wall Street. We'll live in The City at first, and then later perhaps in Connecticut. I'll sit on the board of a charity or two."

These young Ivy Leaguers are some of the brightest young women in the nation -- and their view of the world of course was shaped by their own most-important role-models: their own mothers.

Their own mothers sat on charity boards, took Pilates classes, Tennis lessons, and the like. That is how they viewed their own futures.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-13-2016, 12:19 PM
 
Location: equator
3,494 posts, read 1,548,932 times
Reputation: 8663
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stratman View Post
No, not a generational WW2 thing. I do financial counseling and see this all the time. I call it the "powdered butt syndrome." Once somebody has powdered your butt, they don't want your opinion on money or sex. My parents never talked about those subjects in our house either. I thought they had neither. Turns out they had both.

I might have stated that wrong. I was asking for my father's opinion on money matters. I would never DARE to give my own, if I had any. I was trying to get financial counseling. I think it is a generational thing---he wouldn't discuss his WW2 experiences either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2016, 01:01 AM
 
825 posts, read 566,668 times
Reputation: 2603
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
Reading these threads I can not imagine the pain of a divorce.

My wife and I have been married over 40 years and we're in it together all the way to the end whatever that will be. We're best buddies and one of the biggest enjoyments I get is when I make her laugh which I try to do, at least once, every day.

For most of her married life she was a stay at home mom but she had the harder of the two jobs and no doubt she did better at raising the children than I would have by far. I worked hard, sometimes 10, 12 and even 14 hours a day but she worked harder and longer because her day never stopped.

I was earning the money but wasn't working near as hard as she was.

She made my life wonderful and I owe her which is why I am not drawing social security benefits and still working at 68. My goal is to make double sure if something happens to me financial hardship will not befall her because there is no way I could handle it knowing she had to get a job or work part time to "make do".

I owe it to her.
I'm glad you appreciate her. I'd wager she appreciates you very much.

If your marriage ended next month through divorce rather than through death, would you want her to be able to claim SS benefits on your record? I'm hoping that you would, because she has earned it. As a society, we chose to set up SS to work that way, as a safety net to make sure the unpaid labor of mothers who keep house does not leave them destitute in their old age.

The fact of your wife's valuable contribution to your family and to society does not cease to exist when her marriage ends, as all marriages must end, in either death or divorce.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top