U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-15-2016, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Grove City, Ohio
10,133 posts, read 12,383,606 times
Reputation: 13956

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by josie13 View Post
I'm glad you appreciate her. I'd wager she appreciates you very much.

If your marriage ended next month through divorce rather than through death, would you want her to be able to claim SS benefits on your record? I'm hoping that you would, because she has earned it. As a society, we chose to set up SS to work that way, as a safety net to make sure the unpaid labor of mothers who keep house does not leave them destitute in their old age.

The fact of your wife's valuable contribution to your family and to society does not cease to exist when her marriage ends, as all marriages must end, in either death or divorce.
Through divorce is hard to imagine but if we did the answer is "yes" because, as you pointed out, "she earned it".

The fair way to be is if a couple is married at least 10 years and gets a divorce then total benefits should be split 50-50. If his earnings record brings him $2,000 and her's brings $1,200 the total is $3.200 and each should receive $1,600.

Also, in my opinion, each must approve and sign off on early retirement or taking benefits before FRA because reduced benefits would affect both.

When a couple walks down the aisle and swears before God and the world they are in in for better or worse forever then that has to mean something.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-15-2016, 08:12 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,225 posts, read 6,326,744 times
Reputation: 9833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sand&Salt View Post
I, too, wish I had been taught financial matters. My father was well-off, but got offended when I tried to talk about money. I guess that's a generational (WW2) thing. Money was not discussed. He helped us set up a business of our own (way back in the '70's), but suggested I work "off the books" which went on for 8 years. So I lost all that potential SS. I wish I had known better. Dumb youth.


It would be great if school taught banking, investments and so forth. I never had enough money to worry about it, but now at retirement am realizing my lack of knowledge. But my mother got away with never dealing with a checkbook, the bank, or putting gas in the car (much less a job!). What happened!!
They did teach me about banking. I took the ROP in banking, helped me get a part time job, and learn a lot about banking. You don't have enough hours to do that except after school.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2016, 09:35 AM
 
1,137 posts, read 569,984 times
Reputation: 4370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sand&Salt View Post
I, too, wish I had been taught financial matters. My father was well-off, but got offended when I tried to talk about money. I guess that's a generational (WW2) thing. Money was not discussed. He helped us set up a business of our own (way back in the '70's), but suggested I work "off the books" which went on for 8 years. So I lost all that potential SS. I wish I had known better. Dumb youth.


It would be great if school taught banking, investments and so forth. I never had enough money to worry about it, but now at retirement am realizing my lack of knowledge. But my mother got away with never dealing with a checkbook, the bank, or putting gas in the car (much less a job!). What happened!!
Yea, that 'working off the books' can be a hard lesson. DW and I were self-employed for 15 years too, and never really had enough free cash to start any retirement fund for us. The company demanded every extra $ for keeping it afloat. Still, we were always on the books, and though didn't make a lot, paid all state and federal taxes, FICA, etc. Looking back, it really was dumb luck (and being scared of IRS!!) that we have SS to backstop us. We couldn't afford a financial planner, and just tried to make sure the companies finances were sound, and somehow, magically, it worked out. I wouldn't recommend 'magic' for anyone else though...lots of hotdogs for dinner gets old fast .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2016, 11:13 AM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,202 posts, read 1,345,129 times
Reputation: 6336
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
Reading these threads I can not imagine the pain of a divorce.

My wife and I have been married over 40 years and we're in it together all the way to the end whatever that will be. We're best buddies and one of the biggest enjoyments I get is when I make her laugh which I try to do, at least once, every day.

For most of her married life she was a stay at home mom but she had the harder of the two jobs and no doubt she did better at raising the children than I would have by far. I worked hard, sometimes 10, 12 and even 14 hours a day but she worked harder and longer because her day never stopped.

I was earning the money but wasn't working near as hard as she was.

She made my life wonderful and I owe her which is why I am not drawing social security benefits and still working at 68. My goal is to make double sure if something happens to me financial hardship will not befall her because there is no way I could handle it knowing she had to get a job or work part time to "make do".

I owe it to her.
Good husbands like you are very hard to find. As you can see from this thread (and others that I'm sure you have read) women generally cannot depend on their husbands because so many are not like you. You and your wife are very lucky indeed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2016, 11:16 AM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,202 posts, read 1,345,129 times
Reputation: 6336
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
If it were up to me, I would institute financial literacy coursework requirements beginning in elementary school. If the purpose of school is to help prepare our children to be good citizens, I personally believe at least basic financial literacy should be as much of a requirement as, say, basic civics, history, English, and math.
I totally agree. Basics like how checking accounts and credit cards work would be where I would start.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2017, 11:08 PM
 
Location: Midvale, Idaho
1,541 posts, read 2,383,524 times
Reputation: 1961
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Most here are VERY smart... and lucky(?)!

not so Lucky, not so smart, but VERY grateful! (not eating out of a dumpster, yet...)

Lucky, as long as we can get to age 65 without needing healthcare (Don't tell Obama)

need to ALWAYS be watching over my shoulder (To stay 'stealth and lucky')
I think we are safe from that now. I slid in just five months over the line with no HI for about fifteen years. I also worried about the fines but I think it was such a mess with the website i would have used it as my excuse. I know I saved a lot of money for not having to pay out close to three hundred dollars a month I did not have. Well I saved some but I too had a low paying job. When my insurance was raised and I stopped having it I continued to pay into my savings account the amount of my old premium. So over those years of not paying out I saved a small nest egg to pay for my cataract surgeries when I did turn sixty five. Even so I was lucky and stayed healthy and never needed a doctor. I usually go once a year to refill my prescriptions of thyroid and a diuretic.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,888 posts, read 25,319,935 times
Reputation: 26382
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly View Post
Hi Yellow - How many of those destitute women retired voluntarily?

I cannot fathom voluntarily retiring into poverty. I hate to say it, but in that scenario, best to die in the saddle.
Some did retire voluntarily but the biggest slice of them seem to have been forced out of the job market due to health reasons or they were laid off/riffed/downsized and because of the job market and age discrimination, were unable to find another job that paid well and had benefits.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:58 PM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,949,076 times
Reputation: 3901
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Above poster, age 74, born in 1942.
Below poster, age 69, born in 1947.

It is only a five year difference in age but a HUGE difference in overall thinking. The Feminine Mystique was published in 1963 and it made a tremendous difference in how people thought of women and how women thought of themselves and their future.

Matisse, my sister graduated from HS just four years before you, in 1961. She was valedictorian of her class, the # 1 student out of over 600 students, an A in every single class for all four years, National Merit Finalist, won basically every top scholastic award in her HS.

Guess what? The HS guidance counselor advised her not to go to college because she "was not smart enough" and told her that she should "just get married and have children". The HS guidance counselor!!! It was shocking!

When my sister was selected for Phi Beta Kappa, still a straight A student, she send the guidance counselor a letter telling him that she was very glad that she did not take his very poor advice.

Another interesting thing, even though she was valedictorian, she was not allowed to speak at her HS graduation because as administration told her "only males were allowed to speak". So, the # 2 and # 3 students in her class (males) gave the commencement speeches. BTW, my sister was an excellent public speaker, during that year she was the top speaker in a state wide public speaking competition.

IMHO, there was a dramatic change in thinking right around that time.
BRAVA to your sister!!! (and to you as well, lol!)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 11:22 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,094 posts, read 22,952,534 times
Reputation: 35219
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I glanced at the Elder Orphan Facebook front page. One cannot read the responses & discussion there without joining and letting everyone in the world know your real name & photo, is that correct?

My first reaction is that there seems to be zero anonymity in joining it, is that also correct? The first page has photos of members with their name under each photo. I would be interested in reading discussion there - if there were a degree of anonymity. Such as we have here at City-Data. I know Facebook is based on not being anonymous.
This is why I don't do facebook. I originally had a facebook account with a name like NoMoreSnow - a made-up name. But, at one point, facebook was cracking down, and closed my account and demanded I send them a photo of my driver's license to prove my identity and use my real name. Oh heck no. I want to be anonymous on the internet and I have people in my past I don't want to find me.

People need to be careful. But, in a case especially like the one described, you'd just open yourself up to all kinds of scary things - advertising to the universe that you live alone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 12:01 AM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,448,244 times
Reputation: 13704
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post

This is why I don't do facebook. I originally had a facebook account with a name like NoMoreSnow - a made-up name. But, at one point, facebook was cracking down, and closed my account and demanded I send them a photo of my driver's license to prove my identity and use my real name. Oh heck no. I want to be anonymous on the internet and I have people in my past I don't want to find me.

People need to be careful. But, in a case especially like the one described, you'd just open yourself up to all kinds of scary things - advertising to the universe that you live alone.
Yes. about how they advertise to the universe. I do have a f***book page & account, but I use just my initials, not my name. And I have zero of the categories of info filled in about myself. I like reading postings of various interest groups there, and receiving info from interest groups I follow.

I did not join the interest group in question, because of the way they are organized & their policy which does advertise to the universe.

Last edited by matisse12; 11-10-2017 at 12:24 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top