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Old 10-16-2016, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,651,778 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverBird View Post
This is true of many insular cities and towns. I find it here where we moved 5 yrs ago from 1/2 hour away. It's one of the things that really makes me stop and think in regard to moving elsewhere.
It is one of drawbacks of relocation wherever you go, I agree. It's easier when someone is young especially if they have kids. You just have to weigh all the pros and cons.

I have lived a different kind of lifestyle all my life which makes it a bit more difficult for me to find kindred spirits. So I am prepared for new friendships to take a bit longer to be found.
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Old 10-16-2016, 11:46 AM
 
6,875 posts, read 7,270,643 times
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If a person moves -- for work, retirement or any other reason -- you're moving away from people who've met wherever you've been living. You make new friends in the new place and/or stay in touch with the ones you left behind as best you can.

Yes, at an older age it might be harder, but I maybe not. When you're retired you have more free time to make friends and meet new people. Get involved in groups, join clubs -- introduced yourself. It's really as simple as that. If you as a person are hesitant to do that -- then that's a personal and different issue. But making friends and meeting new people doesn't HAVE To be complicated.
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Old 10-16-2016, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,541 posts, read 17,525,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by selhars View Post
If a person moves -- for work, retirement or any other reason -- you're moving away from people who've met wherever you've been living. You make new friends in the new place and/or stay in touch with the ones you left behind as best you can.

Yes, at an older age it might be harder, but I maybe not. When you're retired you have more free time to make friends and meet new people. Get involved in groups, join clubs -- introduced yourself. It's really as simple as that. If you as a person are hesitant to do that -- then that's a personal and different issue. But making friends and meeting new people doesn't HAVE To be complicated.
Retirees are also going to have far more time to meet people in interests outside of work.
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Old 10-16-2016, 01:29 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
6,545 posts, read 3,653,233 times
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I try to keep in touch with old friends and make new friends. Making new friendships is a little harder than one would think when you move to a new place. Churches seem alien even if the same denomination. Meetups and social groups sometimes help. Perhaps people who move more frequently have an easier time of it.
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Old 10-16-2016, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,879 posts, read 25,306,858 times
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I can meet people anywhere. For me, it was all about money(COL), weather, and living where there are things to do. Other people determined where I was going to live for my whole life. This was the first and probably only opportunity I ever had to choose where *I* wanted to live.

Keeping up with old friends is hard but it can be done if you make the effort. One of my oldest friends is coming to visit on Tuesday. It helps that I live somewhere people want to go. Come to think of it, she never came to visit when I lived in rural Minnesota! And as far as relatives go, they are almost all dead now so not much family to worry about.
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:44 PM
 
575 posts, read 636,816 times
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We moved from Seattle to Northern California about 8 months ago. We thought long and hard about leaving our children and cherished, long-time friends. We absolutely love our new community, but I won't lie. It was extremely lonely (and scary) at first. We knew no one but one acquaintance from high school who lives 30 miles away. We're not church types and, being from the infamous low-key Seattle, we're not used to putting ourselves out there very much.

At first, I felt so incredibly homesick for my close women friends and even my husband, who is more solitary, was constantly texting and e-mailing his old friends from the PNW. But about the fourth month in, things started to pick up and now we've started to form a very small circle - the type of friendships that I think may progress over time. We have frequent social outings with 2 different couples and they seem to have space in their lives for new relationships. We're meeting people right in our neighborhood and some through activities like workshops, a book group and even at the dog park.

Our decades-long friendships can't be replaced - there's just too much history there, but life goes on. So if you're in need of a change and inclined to be even slightly adventurous I say go for it. It may take a while, but if you found friends in the past, there's no reason you can't find them again. It will just take a different kind of effort now that you're retired, empty nested, etc.
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Old 10-16-2016, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,960 posts, read 3,451,255 times
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I had 3 close friends & my son. I' m the only on one left. I used to live in the city & outside of my son, once my other friends were gone I really didn't get to know many people. My job always came first, after my son.

When I moved to this small town, to be close to my mother, who passed a few months after I came, it was culture shock. My one sister and brother live close but we all have our own lives. We spend more time talking on the phone than we do face to face. I can do that from anywhere.

I miss the advantages of a larger town/city. I always lived close to a bus stop, and could take the bus if I had to. I miss stores being close. I miss the anonymity of the city. I swear my neighbors know more about me than I do.

There are advantages of living here. The crime rate is almost nonexistent & neighbors do look out for each other. I'm invited to events, etc. But it's still too small for me.
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Old 10-16-2016, 10:16 PM
 
13,313 posts, read 25,546,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
It is one of drawbacks of relocation wherever you go, I agree. It's easier when someone is young especially if they have kids. You just have to weigh all the pros and cons.
I have lived a different kind of lifestyle all my life which makes it a bit more difficult for me to find kindred spirits. So I am prepared for new friendships to take a bit longer to be found.
Minervah, your statement gives me some backbone when I feel my own slipping. I know you moved for many reasons, but did not allow familiarity to keep you in a situation that wasn't going to work.

If I stayed where I am, I'd have a virtually new life and would have to start to find friends, as I will in my new place. I honestly think I'll miss my mechanic and vet and all more than friends. It's not like there's a gang of buddies like there was in my 20s and 30s. Getting older is just so different, especially as a single person. On good days, I look forward to it. On those other days, I either go to bed and curl up in a ball with my dogs and wait it out, or try to take some guts from those who post here.
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Old 10-17-2016, 06:34 AM
mlb
 
Location: North Monterey County
3,179 posts, read 2,852,979 times
Reputation: 4871
I have - what I call true blue friendships. Distance will not break the bonds.

Just celebrated a birthday and heard from friends from highschool, a friend I hired in a job I had over 30 years ago in Los Angeles and from an old roommate I lived with in LA 35 years ago.

These are friends where we pick up the phone and start talking like we've never been apart.

Those friends will be with me forever. And I am grateful. My husband also has close friends like this who live in different states.

These are the friendships that sustain us through moves, illnesses, deaths, and other means of separation.

I have no qualms picking up and getting on with my life because I know they will always be there for me.
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Old 10-17-2016, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in deep in Maine
3,658 posts, read 2,807,585 times
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One of the biggest problems with friendships in a new place for retirement is that many of the people that you may connect to may be older than you. As a consequence you have to keep paying attention to it, because after awhile your friends start dying on you.
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