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Old 10-24-2016, 09:34 PM
3,348 posts, read 3,051,120 times
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Originally Posted by mlb View Post
The problems begin when you become non-ambulatory. I swear I am fighting against the family gene pool to NOT have my knees replaced - because every single family member who did - eventually has problems walking.
Full knee replacement here and I'm back walking, racing my bicycle and taking ice skating lessons. Everyone I know who has had it done has a much better quality of life.
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Old 10-24-2016, 11:40 PM
13,321 posts, read 25,569,771 times
Reputation: 20505
I've spent my whole life avoiding children- wouldn't want to live with them!
I'd be happy to live with all older people if they were interesting. I mean, conversation about gall bladders and grandchildren, well...

I saw a CCRC in Vermont that sounded like an intellectual community of sorts, and very nice. Alas, very expensive. (Wake Robin, in Shelburne, on the shores of Lake Champlain).
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Old 10-30-2016, 08:00 AM
Location: Idaho
1,455 posts, read 1,156,015 times
Reputation: 5500
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Yes, you will lose those friends in your long-time residence. You may keep in touch, but it won't be the same. Everyone moves on.


I expect to find new friends. They will not be the same as the ones left behind.


I plan on making friends by joining a gardening club or political club, maybe volunteering at something. Maybe through an exercise group. I'm very independent and don't seem to need companionship as much as some others do. But I do need SOME.

Your statements which I quoted above expressed my sentiments exactly.

Since that I no longer work or belong to an organized religious group, I expect to find friends in my new domicile through my hobbies or volunteer activities.

In the last few relocation scouting trips, I found it tremendously helpful to connect with local people who shares my interests in flying or rowing either before or during each trip. Through them, I learned not only about these hobby opportunities/conditions but also about the cities.

We are seriously considering moving to either Spokane or CDA. In browsing real estate listings, we came across a very nice home in CDA with view of the lake, access to the association dock and airstrip. Living there, I could row my own boat anytime. However, I want to belong to a rowing club to enjoy the same camaraderie, support, coaching and volunteering activities as with my NY club in the last 14 years.

I sent an inquiry to the CDA rowing association and immediately got a reply. During the follow up phone call with S, the club president, I learned the club activities were perfect match to my rowing interests. In hearing about the CDA home which we interested in, S told me that there is a board member, who is not only a real estate agent but also a pilot. I was thrilled to hear about A since I have not known any woman who were both a serious pilot and a dedicated rower!

A gave me a call last night. We had a long conversation. It seemed that we had known each other for a long time even though we had never met. There were just so many incredible things which we had in common besides flying and rowing. A also has a daughter who is a vet. She had also done a self-flying safari in South Africa AND with the same FBO (fixed based operation), Sky Africa which is not a well-known adventure aviation companies to US pilots. SA's clients are mainly Europeans. We picked the outfit for the same reason that A and her flying companions did: individual self-flying trip instead of a big group tour. A is also planning for a self-flying safari in Oceania next year. She will fly in Australia. We did our flying in New Zealand few years back. I told A that we were twin sisters by different mothers! A told me that she could hardly wait to meet me in person and of course the feeling is mutual.

My husband plans to do the same by researching and contacting film making and videography groups in Spokane and CDA. There are several colleges and universities in the area. We have no doubt that he will find groups or people sharing his interests. Then there are hiking, gardening and bird watching groups for us to join besides the gym. My husband may get back to painting. I may finally take some music lessons and learn to play an instrument I gave up on learning to play the flute in grade school many years ago but maybe I can handle acoustic guitar. The opportunities to make new friends who share your interests and maybe even living attitude are unlimited.
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Old 10-31-2016, 09:50 AM
Location: Midwest transplant
2,013 posts, read 4,996,945 times
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Originally Posted by RiverBird View Post
I'm impressed that so many retired couples and singles on here report that they are moving or want to move, some of you at great distances.

I also know that some of you moving expect to find new friends at church, clubs, etc. For others:

- Are you not concerned in general about finding new meaningful relationships, esp in 60s and 70s

- Are you basically a loner/loner couple so this just doesn't factor in

- If for whatever reason you don't make friends in the new place right away, are you ok with that? Do you think there's a chance it will be challenging?

- What about the years of cultivated friendships left behind? One-on-one's, and groups? Are you not going to miss them in person?
Have made new friends, new adventures, new experiences....we've treated our "retirement" as the living vacation. We have part time jobs, volunteer for events, belong to social groups, and still travel to meet those long term friends (back to our previous town and to the new towns where "old friends" have moved). Do we miss them? Yes, but the road travels in both directions...you quickly learn who your real friends were/are after moving away. Those that call, visit, keep up on social media, reach out etc...then there are the others who just don't.
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Old 10-31-2016, 10:17 AM
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,134 posts, read 45,653,323 times
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I think I already posted, but in case I did not...
We moved far from lifelong friends, and most of them moved away from the same place we left.
We are all still in touch, and take trips to visit each other in retirement. We live on the way to Florida from up north, so sooner or later, everyone stops by to visit.

You are right that it is not easy to make new friends in a new area where you have no connections. Even though we were very social, it sees like a relief now that we no longer entertain much.
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Old 11-01-2016, 12:19 AM
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,406 posts, read 5,928,354 times
Reputation: 7121
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
No one locks anyone up in senior housing. One is free to go outside and hang out with anyone they wish. Living in senior housing is convenient, especially if you don't have anyone to rely on for help when needed. They have great services.

I find it sad that people here are saying once they reach a certain age they are rejecting their peers. It's a better idea to mix with all ages. They don't have to live right next door.

I've lived in a 55+ condo community (not assisted-living) for 4 years, with all of the pros and cons of that type of living. It's very easy to make friends if you're in a community with a pool and activities where you can meet your neighbors. And at this age, we all have medical issues, doctors' appointments, tests, procedures, etc., and sometimes you can't drive yourself. When I lived up north, it was a major hassle to try to find someone to drive me. Here, I have multiple friends who volunteer before I even ask, as well as offer to help with whatever I might need -- groceries, walking the dog, etc. And of course, I return the favor when needed. So don't dismiss the usefulness of "senior communities", especially for singles.
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Old 11-01-2016, 01:08 AM
7,027 posts, read 6,993,234 times
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Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
The only thing I miss about Portland is the good long-time friends I left behind. I am living in a great Senior living place now where people are friendly but so far no real friends. I know it takes time. When I moved from Chicago to Portland in my thirties it took awhile to find my niche of friends but was easier because I was younger. Now that I am in a place where there are people established in friends and family circles, I just have to find those who may be like me.
What we've found is that the couples we know, enjoy and would like to be closer friends with are so involved with their families and grandchildren that they don't have the time or inclination to grow closer to us as friends. We are retired and so are they, but it seems I have to make most of the effort to arrange to get together, even though they really seem to enjoy it when we do. But the relationships don't seem to deepen. We've lived in this area for 13 years, but we still don't have the kind of relationships I'd like. I'm lonely. I'd love to have a good woman friend, but so far have not found that person.

Another hard situation is that old friends from previous cities where we've lived seem to be fading away. In some cases, the people have changed a lot, and sadly, some seem to be having memory issues. And some are probably forgetting about us. In some cases, we have been gone from their city for 25 years.
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Old 11-01-2016, 01:30 AM
Location: New Mexico
6,584 posts, read 3,670,806 times
Reputation: 12391
Most of my close friends live 1,000 miles away but I stay in touch weekly and try to visit each year or so. It has been a challenge to make the same close friendships when I moved. This is a very family oriented place - which is good - but it's hard to break through that shell if not family. It's an ongoing effort. There is a bocce club with a core group of about a dozen friends and a few more at my local brew pub (I'm a hobby brewer). I volunteer as a nonprofit board member but that is pretty much a professional relationship rather than friendship. I live alone and I'm pretty much of a home body so I need to get out more to meet more people.
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Old 11-01-2016, 03:55 AM
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,553,017 times
Reputation: 16777
I moved from California to Oklahoma. A friend of mine lived in OK, but sadly she was ill. I still miss her. But I really haven't made 'friends' with locals. We know each other. We talk, but its not the same. I'm just different. But I'm more a loner than anything else, and that's okay.

But I have friends from California and elsewhere who I talk with on the phone all the time. Our conversations tend to be really long, an hour or more, and cell phones are a wonderful thing. But I didn't see my friend in socal very often, and talking from OK isn't any different. He's still a really good friend even if we aren't close in space.

My other friend and I also make for long conversations. She's closer, but we haven't made plans to get together. We are both willing to be listeners to the others problems.

I suppose if I was more 'social' and needed bodies around me I'd feel differently, but we're lucky today how easy it is to keep in touch.
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