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Minervah, your statement gives me some backbone when I feel my own slipping. I know you moved for many reasons, but did not allow familiarity to keep you in a situation that wasn't going to work.
If I stayed where I am, I'd have a virtually new life and would have to start to find friends, as I will in my new place. I honestly think I'll miss my mechanic and vet and all more than friends. It's not like there's a gang of buddies like there was in my 20s and 30s. Getting older is just so different, especially as a single person. On good days, I look forward to it. On those other days, I either go to bed and curl up in a ball with my dogs and wait it out, or try to take some guts from those who post here.
Go for it. If you have to find new friends, you'll have to find them anywhere.
I miss maybe three really good, close friends I had in Portland. These were the kind of friends I could call up and say, "Let's go to a movie or shopping or for lunch." One of my good friends was also a neighbor. At one time there were more people in my life but that sort of dwindled away.
I don't know if I can give you relevant advice but I can tell you that once you put your mind to it, planning and executing a relocation move will overtake everything and you won't even have time to think of changing your mind.
One of the biggest problems with friendships in a new place for retirement is that many of the people that you may connect to may be older than you. As a consequence you have to keep paying attention to it, because after awhile your friends start dying on you.
Odds are against anyone older than 60 that you won't lose friends to the great beyond.
My 95 year old motherinlaw is in assisted living and wants to move closer to other friends.. Her friends are 20 and 30 years younger than she.
That's why it's great to NOT live in communities that are geared to an age demographic.
This is one of our fears as well, well, maybe not so much making new friends as leaving behind our old friends. We have some friends already where we're moving to, but it won't be the same.
Odds are against anyone older than 60 that you won't lose friends to the great beyond.
My 95 year old motherinlaw is in assisted living and wants to move closer to other friends.. Her friends are 20 and 30 years younger than she.
That's why it's great to NOT live in communities that are geared to an age demographic.
My Mom was able to live in her own house (a duplex, with tenants!) until she died at age 92. And yes, as her original friends died off, she met new and younger friends. Also, daughters and sons of her 'original' old friends, stayed in touch with her, visiting her often (sometimes daily).
I hope to live in my own home until the bitter end, NO age-restrictive places for me!
My Mom was able to live in her own house (a duplex, with tenants!) until she died at age 92. And yes, as her original friends died off, she met new and younger friends. Also, daughters and sons of her 'original' old friends, stayed in touch with her, visiting her often (sometimes daily).
I hope to live in my own home until the bitter end, NO age-restrictive places for me!
I would want to remain aware of society at large instead of just a select, small demographic.
Life for human beings has always been about being in multi-generational communities. If you're old I don't think it's healthy wanting to only associate with other people your age; if you do, you're basically warehousing yourself until you die. The role of the older member of a community should be to pass on the knowledge and wisdom accumulated over a lifetime to the younger generations. It's a real tragedy that we've lost so much of this today.
I joined a new church recently, and there are a bunch of oldsters my age as well as people my children's generation and younger. Who did I hang around with at coffee hour? Millennials and a few Gen Xers. Being around the energy of the young keeps me going -- and keeps me from wallowing in my own crapulence.
No one locks anyone up in senior housing. One is free to go outside and hang out with anyone they wish. Living in senior housing is convenient, especially if you don't have anyone to rely on for help when needed. They have great services.
I find it sad that people here are saying once they reach a certain age they are rejecting their peers. It's a better idea to mix with all ages. They don't have to live right next door.
The problems begin when you become non-ambulatory. I swear I am fighting against the family gene pool to NOT have my knees replaced - because every single family member who did - eventually has problems walking.
When you cannot just get up and leave - you are stuck.
We need to have different models of living - that are multigenerational....
................. Being around the energy of the young keeps me going -- and keeps me from wallowing in my own crapulence.
My feeling exactly. That is the primary reason why I enjoy working with fifth graders and middle school students as a volunteer, along with feeling useful and appreciated. At that age, the kids do not hesitate to show their enthusiasm, which I find rejuvenating.
My feeling exactly. That is the primary reason why I enjoy working with fifth graders and middle school students as a volunteer, along with feeling useful and appreciated. At that age, the kids do not hesitate to show their enthusiasm, which I find rejuvenating.
Some of the best friendships are between kids and mentors.
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