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Old 10-15-2016, 08:10 PM
 
6,317 posts, read 5,058,385 times
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Girls night out - one topic of conversation was the men.

How some men, no matter how they struggle with health issues, just refuse to take it easy.

I came home to my roommate just barely straggling home. He went to go help someone move. I didn't want to hear the whining. I told him, just throw some money at them and tell them to hire movers. Is it some kind of macho thing? He has cancer. Supposedly in remission, but really should take it easy.

My sister was whining about her neighbor and how sick he is and how his wife just goes and does her thing. I said maybe she is tired of telling him to take it easy? He was outside cutting trees. He is supposed to stay still. He has breathing issues.

My sister went through the same thing with her now deceased husband. I remember he was determined to attend a ceremony where he was to hand out awards, she heard him fall down in the bathroom, but he still went. She couldn't stop him.

Why? Especially when you don't have to. You have enough money to be able to have others do your physical labor type of things.

It is very frustrating.
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Old 10-15-2016, 08:14 PM
 
6,317 posts, read 5,058,385 times
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These men are/were retired so that is why I put it here.
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Old 10-15-2016, 08:21 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,889 posts, read 25,327,549 times
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Most of the people who are supposed to know say activity is good and we should stay as active as possible for as long as possible. I also think many people equate slowing down with going downhill. I still push myself and I always have a to do list.

As soon as I can get a day in the 70's, I have a few tons of rock to move in the front yard. And I need to start working on my pool tile too. And install some solar panels. Just waiting for cool weather!
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Old 10-15-2016, 08:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
Most of the people who are supposed to know say activity is good and we should stay as active as possible for as long as possible. I also think many people equate slowing down with going downhill. I still push myself and I always have a to do list.

As soon as I can get a day in the 70's, I have a few tons of rock to move in the front yard. And I need to start working on my pool tile too. And install some solar panels. Just waiting for cool weather!
But are you a sickly person with some condition or disease that requires you to be cautious?
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:19 AM
 
12,703 posts, read 14,081,338 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Girls night out - one topic of conversation was the men.

How some men, no matter how they struggle with health issues, just refuse to take it easy....

Why? Especially when you don't have to. You have enough money to be able to have others do your physical labor type of things.

It is very frustrating.
I am one of those men, retired and partially crippled, plus four stents. I do have money enough to hire people for any job I might need done. Nevertheless, I behave like the men you described in the section I excised (just for the sake of saving space.)

I guess I have always been like this. A good example being that I worked for the entire time I had an auto-immune problem where my body was aggressively trying to destroy my liver. It was essentially like living with chronic viral hepatitis. Rest was one of the primary recommendations as there was no specific medication for the problem, but the idea of not working and SSD never crossed my mind...it was only after a couple of years that by accident I happened to mention my work. [He wanted to perform yet another liver biopsy, and I mentioned "getting time off from work."] The doctor freaked...you are still working? He riffled though my records and realized I had never applied for SSD or anything else and pulled a scene worthy of a cuckolded spouse.

My father was even worse, but I don't think it is a case of follow his example. It seemed when I was growing up that all men did this, so perhaps it can be blamed on cultural norms. But I do wonder...maybe it is just being a man. I see certain characteristics in large numbers of women that I used to rationalize as cultural. But eventually I came to wonder if these weren't somehow just part of being a woman. In either case I am not familiar enough with studies of people in other radically different cultural circumstances to know if men and women display the same characteristics in those other cultures.

I don't think responding "ego" does it (whether it be men or women), because ego is a result as much as a cause. If it be ego, what fuels and shapes this ego thing - culture or biology.

It took me almost a month this year to paint a small room I use for a study. Using the ladder was very dangerous, and the job even done little bit by little bit was absolutely exhausting. I kept thinking about the inexpensive, very competent painter the paint store said was available - I have known these people a very long time, I trust their judgement. I still did it myself. Even while I was doing it and not really loving it, I thought of their painter, and continued bit by bit. A competent painter would have finished the job in a day or a day an a half, no longer. Why did I do this?

Why? I can only say I felt driven to do it. And other times too I have felt compelled by some inner demon to do things far more easily done by a hired person. I do not have a cleaning woman....most people have assumed that I must: How do you use a vacuum cleaner?! How do you mop!?

I can only say that I do not understand any of the men you mention, but I identify with them anyway because I am the same. Why? I think men who climb mountains just to have done it are jackasses, or skydive...and yet, there is no doubt that my own behavior is equally as dangerous for me, and admittedly as mindless and unnecessary as theirs is.

If this thread develops, and I hope it will, I will be very interested to follow it. I really do wonder about myself...but about men in general on this point. I think it is typical, I think it is stupid...is this sexist if a guy has said it
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:30 AM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
33,896 posts, read 42,133,814 times
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There was a thread recently asking retired men specifically what they do all day, or something similar. My answer was anything I want to.

Look at all the threads critizing men specifically, or complaining about, for sitting around and watching TV or reading.

We can't win.
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,845 posts, read 4,956,944 times
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Although I'm not disabled, I usually do most things for myself.

I grew up in a family with too many siblings and too little money. The thought of hiring anybody to do just about anything was foreign to me. I learned to repair and maintain everything. That created habits that were difficult to break even after I was earning enough to afford hiring help.

But I've reached an age where doing some jobs is physically difficult. For example, doing more than simple maintenance on cars is too taxing. So I no longer keep cars when they begin to wear out.

For most people, old habits are hard to break.
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Old 10-16-2016, 05:47 AM
 
Location: SW Corner of CT
1,949 posts, read 1,537,707 times
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Can't tell you why, but all I need to hear is "you can't do that"......unless it's absolutely impossible, consider it done, but I darned well try first
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Old 10-16-2016, 06:06 AM
 
Location: San Diego
476 posts, read 510,444 times
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Maybe they don't view themselves as sickly yet.
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Old 10-16-2016, 06:17 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
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I'm sure it's a man thing. They don't want to appear weak or incapable especially in front of other men or their wives/girlfriends, etc.
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