U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-24-2008, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,174 posts, read 8,696,248 times
Reputation: 6194

Advertisements

Looking back on your life, what things would you change? Be specific - work less, save more, more social time, etc. Worrying less?

What did you enjoy that you did?

What did you get the greatest joy from?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-25-2008, 06:58 AM
 
Location: New Orleans Louisiana
156 posts, read 352,089 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Looking back on your life, what things would you change? Be specific - work less, save more, more social time, etc. Worrying less?

What did you enjoy that you did?

What did you get the greatest joy from?
Wow good questions Bette...

work less?...hmmmm...Probably work more.. but only to find something that I really liked doing(if that's possible). I was never a workaholic but I never made lots of money either. In a way, I think I was a disappointment to some in my family and that is something I do regret.

save more?...I was never much of a saver. But I never was an extravagant spender either. We were poor as children and I remember so well the insecurity that the first of the month brought. It's really traumatic for children in poor families. It has a way of prioritizing the remainder of your life and it will either make you save everything you make or give you a feeling that you are always rich if you have peace of mind...I of course am the latter.

more social time?...Yes and with people who think and dream and laugh and be different and learn and share what they learn...the list goes on. Perhaps it is not so much quantity...as quality. I sort of wonder what retirement has to offer if everyone just becomes sort of non-associated. Socially, I think I am so very much different than I was as a child...I know I am much happier.

worry less?...Probably not possible to worry less. As kids we learned to worry. I have a sister(there were 10 of us) who used to check the stove 3 times before she left her house and carried her iron in her car. Now that's worry. I wasn't quite that obscessed but I guess I've worried more than some I observe. We learned early that the sooner you worry...the better

The greatest joy...Watching your child grow...giving them what you so longed for as a child...is like giving it to yourself...Of course you soon realize they got it too easily and the appreciation in the way YOU would have appreciated it...isn't there. Ultimately they grow up and do show you that they remember and that again is a real feeling of accomplishment. The fact that he didn't go through what we did as children is my greatest joy. Second greastest is that he helps others...and he laughs easily and often...

So Bette...Thanks for asking...how would you answer your questions?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 07:00 AM
 
1,861 posts, read 3,024,773 times
Reputation: 559
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Looking back on your life, what things would you change? Be specific - work less, save more, more social time, etc. Worrying less?

What did you enjoy that you did?

What did you get the greatest joy from?
I don't regret much, because I did everything I wanted to do. I moved to where I wanted to live, I traveled as much as I wanted to, I met people from all over the world. I lived in different cities, I had many different (interesting, if nothing else) relationships with people. I have always been free, and able to do what I want when I want. I do not ever regret not having children! Well, I never even wanted to in the first place. lol

The greatest joy I got was by moving to the ocean. When I was about 9, I saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time, and I remember thinking to myself, "I'm moving here one day", and I did.

I would save more money, though! Most of the time, I couldn't, but sometimes, I could have. And, since I moved away from my home area 30 years ago, I do wish I had seen my father more often before he died.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 08:41 AM
 
13,319 posts, read 25,565,364 times
Reputation: 20505
I'm sorry I wasn't a different person when younger. I feel like depression blighted my choices and life, the most when there were more choices- late teens, twenties.
I am glad I did everything I thought I wanted to do- didn't overly enjoy any of it, but feel like I've got some interesting mileage and no regrets of things I should have done that were within my power.
I regret that I've never come close to having a life partner relationship- don't feel I have that within my power- I see a lot of women in my age group who are lonely, but admit that most are divorced, not forever uncoupled.
I really wish I'd had a thought to saving even five bucks a week since I started working at age 16. I certainly could have, through all the experiments and moves and changes.
Greatest joy is in recent years- finally making a home for myself (being able to build my dream house) and filling it with adopted dogs.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,610 posts, read 4,394,032 times
Reputation: 1459
If I had a "do-over" I would certainly make different career choices. To be honest, when I graduated from high school, I just thought I would go to college, major in elementary education, marry and never work again. Boy, did I guess wrong! To begin with, although I loved the actual teaching part, I loathed the administrative part of the job. Having to follow all the district and state guidelines and kow tow to parents was more than I could stand. So, there I was with a teaching certificate and no where to take it. Once my daughter was in school full time I realized that I needed to work for my own satisfaction and was not really prepared to work in the non-"academic" environment. As a result, I have spent the last 25+ years doing secretarial work which is not how I imagined I would be satisfying my urge to work. Although I am finally making pretty decent money for this kind of work, at this point I am only working for the money this close to retirement and have little real job satisfaction. But in my defense, when I went to college there just weren't as many options for women and few of us imagined we'd be in the workforce for our entire adult lives - that teaching certificate was good for having a "fallback" option if our husbands either died prematurely or divorced us, not for a lifelong career. The only other regret is that I should have started saving/investing for retirement much sooner and more agressively.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,174 posts, read 8,696,248 times
Reputation: 6194
Smile Regrets....

Quote:
Originally Posted by GregoryS View Post


Wow good questions Bette...

The greatest joy...Watching your child grow...giving them what you so longed for as a child...is like giving it to yourself...Of course you soon realize they got it too easily and the appreciation in the way YOU would have appreciated it...isn't there. Ultimately they grow up and do show you that they remember and that again is a real feeling of accomplishment. The fact that he didn't go through what we did as children is my greatest joy. Second greastest is that he helps others...and he laughs easily and often...

So Bette...Thanks for asking...how would you answer your questions?
Thanks for asking and those were great answers!! I liked what you said about giving to your children and what you said - the appreciation - you are right on! It's what YOU would feel, not them - how true!

I am not much younger than you are and I am thinking ever day about some of these. Until I was 15, I grew up fine - middle class - then my dad lost everything and I had to leave my school, work 2 jobs, pay their mortgage; there were 4 of us - I was the oldest - my brother (youngest) also ended up helping out financially so he and I have this bond. My poor dad spent the rest of his life trying to get it back. I still help (now only my mom) financially so I have always felt trapped in this, I guess. Never got to do what I wanted and now my mom is 87 so I know that someday....

I probably worry too much, very sensitive, care about people think, etc.

I love my 2 children, my greatest gift and my 2 dogs (Shelties) - I also am married to a wonderful man.

I need to take a phone call (work) - more later!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 04:28 PM
 
15,349 posts, read 27,543,698 times
Reputation: 18820
Great thread! I hope more folks respond.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Marietta, GA
857 posts, read 4,473,516 times
Reputation: 809
I've been very lucky in that even when things weren't easy there were always lessons to be learned, so I have always looked on the hard times as "tuition" for the educaton in life I was getting.
I lost my only child last year. If I could go back in time I would spend more time doing fun things with him. I was always the responsible one, and my ex, his dad, was the fun one. We divided up our responsibilities accordingly. Dad would take him on vacation, movies, etc. I would teach him how to handle money, develop a good work ethic, be responsible, etc. And I am the one who pointed him toward joining the military.
If I could go back in time I would try to change who I am so that I could have been the fun one who was making all of the great memories with him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,174 posts, read 8,696,248 times
Reputation: 6194
Smile Regrets and happy things too...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokyMtnGal View Post
Great thread! I hope more folks respond.
Me too - I love listening to what people did, what they wished they had done, etc. I am in my early 50's and I still want to live and learn!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2008, 07:58 PM
 
Location: New Orleans Louisiana
156 posts, read 352,089 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Thanks for asking and those were great answers!! I liked what you said about giving to your children and what you said - the appreciation - you are right on! It's what YOU would feel, not them - how true!

I am not much younger than you are and I am thinking ever day about some of these. Until I was 15, I grew up fine - middle class - then my dad lost everything and I had to leave my school, work 2 jobs, pay their mortgage; there were 4 of us - I was the oldest - my brother (youngest) also ended up helping out financially so he and I have this bond. My poor dad spent the rest of his life trying to get it back. I still help (now only my mom) financially so I have always felt trapped in this, I guess. Never got to do what I wanted and now my mom is 87 so I know that someday....

I probably worry too much, very sensitive, care about people think, etc.

I love my 2 children, my greatest gift and my 2 dogs (Shelties) - I also am married to a wonderful man.

I need to take a phone call (work) - more later!
Hi Bette....You are quite welcome and so glad to see your thoughtful answers...Your life took you on a bit of a journey too...Sounds like at 15 you had to do some quick growing up. Your comments about feeling trapped and never getting to do what you want are so true about children who have to grow up and assume adult responsibilities so quickly. I think I have some idea of what you feel sometimes. So nice of you to help your parents in so many ways and for so many years. You really stepped up for your family and at such an early age. I know it was very hard on you too. I'm sure they were comforted knowing they had you. I tried to help my Dad a little in financial ways but that's not something I ever think about anymore. What he gave me was much more valuable than what I gave him....He saved me in every way and that's what I always remember... I can tell that your Dad was very important to you also. I'm so glad your life has so many wonderful things too...Thanks so much for the nice post
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top