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Old 10-20-2016, 08:09 PM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,166,099 times
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I know I saw the answer on the IRS website, but I can not find it again. Plus, I visited an attorney and asked him 101 questions and can't remember the answer to this question. And my accountant is in Thailand. No kidding.

I'm relatively sure that - in the state of Virginia which doesn't even recognize QDPs that the answer is - a QDP will NOT affect my widow's benefits (at age 60).

But does anyone know for sure?
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Old 10-20-2016, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Talmadge, San Diego, CA
13,324 posts, read 25,288,295 times
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I think as long as you don't get married, it won't affect your benefits.
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Old 10-20-2016, 08:18 PM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,221,218 times
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It would probably be best to contact the IRS again.


Is the status under your member name a book you wrote and are advertising?
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Old 10-20-2016, 08:38 PM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,166,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
It would probably be best to contact the IRS again.


Is the status under your member name a book you wrote and are advertising?
I spent four years researching that book, and then my husband died tragically. I will not write again. On the really good days, I get out of bed and brush my hair and get dressed.

The IRS does not answer their phones this time of year. I already tried. I'm tired of throwing money at attorneys for the simplest of questions.

My husband was an attorney. I so wish he had outlived me. I am ill equipped to handle any piece or part of this living hell. Before his death, I had recurring nightmares that he died suddenly. Now my nightmare is the reality.

I'm dead inside and dealing with the endless red-tape of trying to make 101 decisions that don't destroy me financially is the last straw.
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Old 10-21-2016, 10:22 AM
 
Location: OH>IL>CO>CT
5,231 posts, read 8,395,972 times
Reputation: 7185
Question IRS vs SSA

Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
I know I saw the answer on the IRS website, but I can not find it again. Plus, I visited an attorney and asked him 101 questions and can't remember the answer to this question. And my accountant is in Thailand. No kidding.

I'm relatively sure that - in the state of Virginia which doesn't even recognize QDPs that the answer is - a QDP will NOT affect my widow's benefits (at age 60).

But does anyone know for sure?
If you are talking about Social Security Survivor's benefits, either check the SSA's website at https://www.ssa.gov/ or call them at their 800# 1-800-772-1213



IRS has nothing to do with SS benefits ( except collect taxes on them if you have too much other income )
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Old 10-24-2016, 05:24 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,754,934 times
Reputation: 47257
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
I spent four years researching that book, and then my husband died tragically. I will not write again. On the really good days, I get out of bed and brush my hair and get dressed.

The IRS does not answer their phones this time of year. I already tried. I'm tired of throwing money at attorneys for the simplest of questions.

My husband was an attorney. I so wish he had outlived me. I am ill equipped to handle any piece or part of this living hell. Before his death, I had recurring nightmares that he died suddenly. Now my nightmare is the reality.

I'm dead inside and dealing with the endless red-tape of trying to make 101 decisions that don't destroy me financially is the last straw.
OP sounds like you are in active mourning for your husband and overwhelmed with that and all it entails. Are you executor of his estate? Did he have a partner? Do you have adult children or friends who might help you navigate these choppy waters?

When I see an attorney, doctor, accountant (anybody I'm paying for advice) I always write out my questions with space for answers before I go see them. Insist they wait while you write down what they say. or better yet ask the if you can record the session because you are forgetting important information.

I think you would benefit from a survivors group or some community or church support group for the help you need.
My father dropped dead at 58 and my mother was widowed very young. She had never even had her own checking account and didn't know what Daddy's estate was. She was too proud to ask for professional advice and she made many mistakes. Also she was taken advantage of very badly.

You are suffering from depression and you need to see a physician to help with that. As long as your head is foggy, you will struggle with all this.

Be careful and take your time dealing with all these matters. Give yourself plenty of time to mourn and start keeping a file or notebook with your questions and research you do. Good luck to you.
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Old 10-24-2016, 09:05 AM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,166,099 times
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My husband committed suicide. Yes, I'm depressed, and yes I'm under all manner of medical and psychiatric and psychological care. I also sit in churches (empty or not) and just ask God to help me through this.

My husband was a big-deal litigator and there were no warning signals, no depression, no signs, no nothing. He just left work one day and put a bullet in his brain.

I've called the Social Security (once) and was told to visit the local office. I have visited their office twice seeking an answer. TWICE. That's five hours of my life gone forever. Their answer: Uh, well, we don't have a code section on that.

If I remarried, I'd lose my widow's benefits (age 60), but QDP? No one knows.

The advice to record conversations is a good one. The lawyers' advice is too expensive to forget. I'm returning to see him later in the week.

My life pre-suicide was another world. I'll never be the same woman again.

If I was queen of the world, I'd send out this message: Suicide doesn't end pain. It just exponentially multiplies it and spreads it out further and further into the world. I read Kuschner's book like it's my job. It's the only thing that makes any sense right now. I was praying for my husband just about the time he put the Glock in his mouth. God's will? I don't think so but I don't know what to think.

The doctors and LCSWs say to give myself a couple years to heal. I can only hope and pray it happens that fast.

Rosemary

Last edited by RosemaryT; 10-24-2016 at 09:14 AM..
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Old 10-24-2016, 09:07 AM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,166,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
It would probably be best to contact the IRS again.
They do not answer their phone this time of year, but direct you to their website.
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Old 10-24-2016, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,754,934 times
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Rosemary, your message may just have saved a life or two. You never know. I think you might benefit from the Mental Illness Forum. I've seen this discussed there.

I had a friend who had a 2 year old and was 8 months pregnant with the 2nd when her husband got up from the breakfast table, walked outside and shot himself in the head. Right where she could see it. She became very active in Survivors of Suicide movement. She lived in Georgia and today has had a 20 year relationship with a wonderful man and never remarried because she would have lost everything.

I googled Survivals of suicide and there are loads of links. This is just one.Survivors of Suicide

My daughter lives in Virginia with her SO and she told me Va recognizes domestic partners. She is on his health insurance. Maybe that's not the same kind of relationship you are asking about.

When you go to the lawyer ask him if you could have a reduced bill as you were not capable of taking in all he said before and you are now recording or writing it all down. And have what you need with you.

Do you have any adult children? Family member who can go with you as a second pair of ears?
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Old 10-24-2016, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,754,934 times
Reputation: 47257
Are you saying you are considering living with somebody at this point? Take that person with you. If not then don't worry about it until the time comes.
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