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Old 10-27-2016, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,973,893 times
Reputation: 15649

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Quote:
Originally Posted by vicky3vicky View Post
I have a problem with trusting when I shouldn't. I do not know what to do.
Do a CORI (Criminal Offender Record Information) check on him immediately (through your state gov't) and of course find out if he is a registered molester. He doesn't have to know. He could well have given you a false name and spun stories about a wife and child to get your sympathy. There are those out there who take advantage of autistic people, and if you are also gullible, you're asking for trouble. He supposedly has money now. Tell him to establish his own residence and you can't commit because you're not sure how long you'll be staying where you are. And do not give him a house key or leave your house open ever. I'm not saying this because I believe homeless people are swindlers (I do not), I'm saying it because your post sounds naive. You don't seem to have done any background on him and you seem to believe his whole story.

 
Old 10-27-2016, 04:52 PM
 
11,985 posts, read 5,119,111 times
Reputation: 18734
Drama, drama, drama. I have a difficult time believing any of this story is real.
 
Old 10-27-2016, 04:55 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,202 posts, read 1,345,129 times
Reputation: 6336
Vicky,
NO NO NO NO NO !!!!!! for all the reasons already mentioned.

Do not get involved with this person. Tell him to go to his lawyer for any help he needs. Let the lawyer find someone to help him find a place to live.

I hope he doesn't know where you live.
 
Old 10-27-2016, 07:25 PM
 
6,802 posts, read 3,862,667 times
Reputation: 15515
It can be REALLY hard to get rid of someone once you let them live in your home. The laws make it that way, and scammers sure know this!
 
Old 10-27-2016, 10:40 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,563 posts, read 39,944,045 times
Reputation: 23699
Someone must have HS internet to be able to watch You-tube and use other video sites... some of us are in rural USA on Pay-Per-Byte. so... free advice, but no lounging around watching Youtubes at a premium price!

Too bad the OP doesn't recognize and implement advice, but instead focuses on justification and excuses.

Surprise... everyone has their own issues, and many have dealt with way crazy things (relationships and emotions) for decades. It is living beyond, and not beneath your circumstances that will move you along the journey of life. Seldom EZ, never as planned.

go Farming! 10 + hrs / day ALONE on a tractor or behind a mule will give you plenty of time to THINK! and... the problems that crop up will REQUIRE you to think, especially if you are not fond of walking home! (and walking BACK to SOLVE your problem of the hour) every hour, everyday... troubles arise and threaten to FLATTEN you.
 
Old 10-27-2016, 11:23 PM
 
633 posts, read 403,673 times
Reputation: 3582
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Someone must have HS internet to be able to watch You-tube and use other video sites... some of us are in rural USA on Pay-Per-Byte. so... free advice, but no lounging around watching Youtubes at a premium price!

Too bad the OP doesn't recognize and implement advice, but instead focuses on justification and excuses.

Surprise... everyone has their own issues, and many have dealt with way crazy things (relationships and emotions) for decades. It is living beyond, and not beneath your circumstances that will move you along the journey of life. Seldom EZ, never as planned.

go Farming! 10 + hrs / day ALONE on a tractor or behind a mule will give you plenty of time to THINK! and... the problems that crop up will REQUIRE you to think, especially if you are not fond of walking home! (and walking BACK to SOLVE your problem of the hour) every hour, everyday... troubles arise and threaten to FLATTEN you.
Will you please tell me what excuses and justifications you are accusing me of? And I have always lived beyond my circumstances, which is one reason that I am PAID for some of my speaking engagements [not a la Clinton] am ccordinator of the ONLY by and for Autistic retreat in the WORLD that is affordable by all Autistics [ more than half on full scholarship] and, now in retirement, putting together an Autistic community within an already established community that has been written about in the Atlantic.

And now you will accuse me of bragging I suspect. Merely attempting to explain why your cruel statements are only that, cruelty for the sake of cruelty.

I was and am thankful for the advice from many, but some of the comments made at the end could not have possibly been intended as helpful, gracious, or kind.

And as far as your comments about the farm, I will not be the one farming it. That is not my dream but the dream of many Autistic friends. If no one farms, well, I can have a lot more chickens to love on 2 full acres than I do now. [there is already a huge waiting list for the eggs] And if you think not much can be produced on a 2 acre farm then you are probably not familiar with AUtistic Curtis Stone[ author of "The Urban Farmer"] or any of the other, often Autistic, SPIN farmers. [ plus of course the land on the other 4 completely paid off houses]


There are a few sweet, gentle and good people who are constantly being put down by the same cruel bunch. This is the worst I think that I have been attacked. I noticed that it got worse when I mentioned that I might be overreacting because I am pretty freaked out about whether I may no longer be in remission [which I mentioned 3 days ago on my channel, a couple of days before this thread]

I have no concept of the reasoning behind schaadenfreude, but for lacking this character trait, yes indeedy, I do use my autism as an excuse for not having it [ or, then again, maybe it's because I am a nice person, a nice person who is done being treated cruelly is still a nice person]
 
Old 10-27-2016, 11:42 PM
 
Location: Backwoods of Maine
7,114 posts, read 8,152,702 times
Reputation: 18766
Some advice here, from a retired man who has essentially started a farm in his 60s and is loving every minute of it. I am simply too active to sit in a rocking chair.

First, people don't buy farms...farms are made by people. The people come first, and without them, there would be no farms. Second, farms come in all sizes and types. The amount of work involved on a farm is totally dependent on the type of operation it is. In my case, I am just a part-time farmer, and have plenty of free time to enjoy other things in life. Third, there is a difference between a farm and a homestead. A farm is a business engaged in making a profit, whereas a homestead (technically, what I have), is not. But I do make money at it. A homestead is basically a place in the country with gardens and some animals.

I would not advise anyone starting out to get involved with larger livestock, such as horses or cows. It's tempting, but they are a lot of work and expense. Try to avoid animals that need to be milked, as they tie you down too much.

Inviting other autistic people to share the farm may be a worthwhile goal, but which autistic people? They would have to be very high functioning to be of any help, and where are they to live? Are you all going to crowd into the same house, or would there be separate cabins/cottages for unrelated people to live in? Because I think you and your family are one cohesive unit, and need quarters of your own.

Also, will these other people be requiring care, at first or later? Who is to provide that care? I think this should be clarified right from the start. And what about money? Even a large windfall can disappear very quickly! If any of those autistic persons are receiving government assistance, the government may have quite a lot to say about their living conditions, and where they relocate to.

So all in all, there's a lot to think about here. Be certain, above all else, that you and your family always have an escape, and the means to move back to a home of your own if things don't work out. As sometimes, things don't always work out.

Best of luck in your decision...and it IS your decision!
 
Old 10-28-2016, 12:23 AM
 
633 posts, read 403,673 times
Reputation: 3582
Nor Eastah, as usual, you are incredible. No wonder I have always loved you.

Our plans for Autistic community already are over 200 pages long, with thousands of hours of research. I guess a homestead is more what we are talking about, though there were already plans for SPIN farm gardens at the other 4 properties that we own.

I have received hundreds of e-mails from people who have heard me speak, heard about me, or read about our plans. So many people want to wait until we are actually established with a number of people living here.

There are many non-autistic parents of autistic children who live in fear every day of what will happen to their child after they die. This is what I told one of those parents [who intends to be here within the next 3 to 4 years.]

So imagine you are on your deathbed. And it is in your bed in your home in this community. You look around you at the loving autistic people who are surrounding your bed. For a moment you fear for your child.Who will take care of him? But then, looking again at the people who are standing with you as you leave for your final journey, you know that these same people will be there for your child to ensure he is his happiest, most authentic autistic self.

We do plan for what is referred to by many as lower functioning autistics in our community. And yes, there is a plan that I would gladly go over with you any time.

Most all of the initial posts were so kind and gave good advice. It was only towards the end that the "haters" jumped in. Thank you so much for not being pulled in by their cruelty.
 
Old 10-28-2016, 12:25 AM
 
633 posts, read 403,673 times
Reputation: 3582
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
It can be REALLY hard to get rid of someone once you let them live in your home. The laws make it that way, and scammers sure know this!
I unfortuneately already learned that the hard way, but thank you.
 
Old 10-28-2016, 01:08 AM
 
8,976 posts, read 8,104,989 times
Reputation: 19497
I know of two different such farms in two different states, that are operated by young people with similar problems. They are highly respected, and have grown to take care of a large number of teen age children with this type of problem. It has been a salvation for them, and has helped them grow to where they can take care of themselves.

It takes a lot of money to set up such a place, but is needed if the funds are available. I have eaten a lot of tomatoes grown in green houses at one of these farms. The local grocery stores sell them, marked where they come from, and they are ripe and a lot better quality than the normal tomatoes sold in grocery stores. The first one that I was acquainted with had several children that attended our church on Sunday. I watched what happened as those teen age children matured and grew from living and working at the farm. It gave them pride, and hope, and prepared them to be able to care for themselves when the were grown. It is sure a lot better than to just raise them till they are 18 and throw them out into the world unprepared to live in the world.
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