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Old 10-31-2016, 08:27 AM
4,492 posts, read 4,753,674 times
Reputation: 9972


Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
I am learning a lot by reading responses here. For one thing I would never tip for having help to carry groceries, either by staff or a helpful person in the parking lot. I am never offended by someone trying to be courteous either, but apparently many are. When someone holds a door open for you, do you think he/she is being snide or sarcastic? Or practicing one of the niceties of a kind hearted society. Giving someone the opportunity to do something nice for you allows them to feel good about doing it. Is that a problem? It never means, let me help because you are a physical wreck and I am clearly superior to you. You would not be shopping if you could not handle it by yourself. But every pleasant encounter in life is a win-win so why not just accept it.

Yes, well said.
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Old 10-31-2016, 08:43 AM
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,696,516 times
Reputation: 35450
The store I go to now doesn't ask but others I have gone to always did. Those that did asked everyone regardless of age or gender. It's either store policy or it isn't.

It's just meant to be a courtesy, nothing else.
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Old 10-31-2016, 08:46 AM
Location: SW Florida
10,338 posts, read 4,894,543 times
Reputation: 21755
I'm also a Publix shopper. They always ask even if you only have two bags. I usually tell them I don't need any help unless it's dark and then I always have someone go out to the car with me. One of the reasons I will never buy groceries in Wal-Mart. You're just too easy of a target for people with bad intentions while you are loading up your car especially when you are a petite woman.
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Old 10-31-2016, 08:47 AM
6,340 posts, read 5,079,035 times
Reputation: 12890
I'm surprised to read that not all grocery stores offer this service.

I shop at HEB - a Texas grocery chain. That is also where I did a short stint as a bagger. We always asked and we were not allowed to take tips.

I've never had anyone feel offended at the offer of assistance. Maybe because it was a normal practice? Didn't know it wasn't a normal thing everywhere else.

Now when I've used the military commissary, I do tip, since that is how they make their money. The baggers only work for tips. I've read on an air force forum that some of the new crop of military folks hate this. And some refuse to tip. What the heck. Very sad. If I was closer to the commissary I would shop there all the time.
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Old 10-31-2016, 08:47 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
5,809 posts, read 4,857,183 times
Reputation: 19525
I'm a woman and I've been asked this every time I shop for groceries, in every store. It's just another form of customer service, and I think it's nice. There's no reason to be snippy or sarcastic when they ask. They are trained to ask everyone so as not to appear discriminatory. Also many disabilities are invisible, so they don't know if the customer has severe arthritis in their hands or back, or if they have some other limitation. I know some people who would appreciate the help, but would be embarrassed to have to ask for it. I don't know why people seem to be so insulted or take offense at something so ordinary and intended to be a service, not a put-down. Are you insulted if someone is polite enough to hold the door for you? Do you smile and say "thanks", or do you snap "I can open the door myself!" It's no wonder people think the elderly are cranky curmudgeons if they act insulted or make snide comments to a pleasant and kind offer.
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Old 10-31-2016, 09:51 AM
45 posts, read 31,163 times
Reputation: 79
I am 68 now and have started accepting help even if I could do it myself. Once I had so much hardware in my cart I would need to hold it to not have it fall out, it wasn't heavy just lots of light bulbs but I accepted help. I mostly shop where they don't have help but have gotten help at Walmart picking up ship to store. I had 4 bicycles and 10 basketballs so it was nice to have help. I had a Walmart worker offer to help me load patio furniture that I told him I wasn't buying because I couldn't lift it. He told me anytime I shopped and wanted help he would have me drive up to the garden center and load it to just ask for him.
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Old 10-31-2016, 09:59 AM
Location: Idaho
4,639 posts, read 4,484,350 times
Reputation: 9101
I usually purchase my foodstuffs at Stater Brothers, (a smaller San Bernardino based supermarket with 168 locations throughout SoCal, according to wikipedia). The first time I was asked if I needed any help with my groceries, I was initially amused and playfully remarked, "Nah. I'm not 'that' old." Upon reflection, I see it as a "badge of honor" in that I am perceived as being a "senior". I've only been asked once or twice since. No big deal.

What gets me every time is when the Costco 'bag packer' always asks me if I want a box! What the heck am I going to do with a box when I get to the car? Maybe because I've learned to never go into a Costco with a shopping cart. I only purchase what I can carry in my overloaded arms. Still difficult getting out of there without spending a minor fortune.



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Old 10-31-2016, 10:08 AM
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,837,169 times
Reputation: 13083
Originally Posted by exit82 View Post
you might be much happier in NJ-

no one will ask you that-ever- no one will care if you need help or not- I have never ever in 32 years living here seen a grocery store employee take groceries to a car for someone.
That's funny...I am asked if I need help all the time.

Just because you have never seen someone being helped does not mean they were not ASKED if they need help. Many people turn help down.

When I was much younger I actually asked for help due to a temporary disability that was not really apparent to anyone. I asked for help and received it from the store.

And, yes, I live in New Jersey.
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Old 10-31-2016, 10:17 AM
5,825 posts, read 13,332,050 times
Reputation: 9303
Our grocery baggers always ask, even younger people. I don't get insulted and there were times I was unable to lift heavy objects due to a recent surgery, which isn't visible. I also have no problem requesting help if I need it. No big deal.
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Old 10-31-2016, 11:21 AM
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,997 posts, read 2,304,195 times
Reputation: 16734
I am asked all the time but only a few times have I answered "Yes". I don't mind being asked at all but I'm one of those people who probably would not ask for help if it was not offered.

The only times I accept now is when my 12 yr old disabled son is being exceptionally hard to handle & I want to be able to be "hands on" with him (vs a cart) in the parking lot. I used to say "Yes" all the time when I had 4 babies ages 2 & under ...

Once when I was 44; I got asked if I qualified for the "Senior Discount". When I stuttered "Er ...NO." to the clerk she explained to me that they would frequently get complaints from Seniors, who upon reviewing their receipt had found that they had NOT received the discount & would come back to complain to the manager ...

NOT for sure if I believe that one 100%; but whatever!
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