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Today the bagger asked me if I needed help out to the parking lot. It wasn't the first time I've been asked. I find it mildly insulting because it implies I look helpless or disabled. I am convinced that I do not look helpless or disabled, and I certainly hope I am not deluding myself.
I asked her in a friendly tone if she asks everybody that and she waffled with the answer, saying only that she once got in trouble for failing to ask.
I would say I get asked that maybe one out of ten times I buy groceries at Ralph's, which is one of the large chains in Southern California. Sometimes I defuse the situation by saying with a little laugh, "No thanks - I'm old but not that old". I know there is no point in letting my irritation show to the cashier or bagger, as they are not really doing anything wrong and there is more than enough negativity in the world anyway.
Small potatoes, I know, and perhaps not worth making a thread about, but I am just curious whether other posters here have had the same experience and whether, like me, you find it insulting and irritating.
We do most of our shopping at Publix - where "Shopping Is A Pleasure" .
And the baggers always ask everyone - regardless of age - if they'd like help taking their groceries out to the car. After 40+ years shopping at Publix - we're not insulted at all. Just used to good service. Robyn
P.S. I think you can edit your thread title if your go to advanced editing changes.
We do our shopping at HEB and the baggers always ask us if we want help out to our car. They ask the same question of the 20-year-old strapping college football students shopping there too. When we shop at Central Market no one asks us that question.
However, we went car shopping this weekend and the car salesman asked us if we have grandkids. I wanted to punch him. But I smiled instead and said 92 and asked if he wanted to see pictures of them all.
The 2 grocery stores I frequent ask every customer whether they need help with getting their purchases to their car. Maybe that's what's happening at your store?
I don't find it insulting at all and didn't even before I noticed that every customer was asked whether they needed help, not just me. I don't think it's meant to be a judgment of anyone's abilities (or manhood), just a courtesy because you can't always tell whether someone might need or want help just by looking at them. A perfectly able-bodied person could be exhausted from a long workday or experiencing a temporary bout of pain from strained muscles or something and might appreciate the opportunity to receive a little assistance. Asking for help when it is needed is not a sign of weakness and needing help is not a character flaw. A lot of people don't ask for help when it might be welcome but might respond to an offer of help.
After a certain number of years on the planet, i finally discovered that my interactions with other humans go much more smoothly when I assume noble (or at least neutral) intent in the remarks of others until I have definite evidence otherwise and that I am much happier overall if I do not seek offense where none is offered or intended.
We use Public's. They always ask. You can not tell by age alone if a person might need help and a lot of people may not want to ask for help. Sounds like you have found a good store.
I don't find it insulting at all because the many of the baggers are retirees much older than I am here in FL.
I always declined any offer of help taking my groceries to my car which I am offered each and every time, it's part of their scripted customer service. Just like asking me if I've found everything by the cashier and being walked to an item, never pointed in the direction of, by a stock person when asking the location of an item. I find it good customer service and a sign of good management.
One day, a bagger, who looked to be in her late 70's, commandeered my cart and proceeded to lecture me on the way out to my car that they like a break and opportunity to get outside and for me not to be so fast with saying no next time! I still refuse help with getting my groceries to the car, as long as it isn't that old bat bagging.
I am exceedingly grateful for such offers of help, saves me from asking. and I NEED the help big time.
I think it is wonderful when they ask.
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