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Old 11-08-2016, 01:36 PM
 
3,373 posts, read 3,781,240 times
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I can't imagine any kid would be made fun of because their parents rent instead of own their home. That's an odd concept to me. First of all, how would a kid know? Kids don't know of such things.
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Old 11-08-2016, 02:47 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,821 posts, read 18,826,487 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
I think one problem with a two-generation marriage is that the husband and wife are in two different stages of life. When I was in my 20's to early 30's I was very happy with quite minimal possessions and a simple home and modest vehicles. In my late 30's to 40's I started to earn more and my desires grew to fill my available cash flow...larger house, newer and better vehicle, and a desire for more upscale clothes, furnishings, vacations, etc. When I hit my late 40's I was focused on saving and preparing for retirement and started to really do the math in earnest. Now in my late 50's I am retired and I can choose how and where to spend my retirement money. I am shifting my priorities from possessions to experiences. I don't want to accumulate any more and am divesting myself of things I've been dragging with me for years. When one spouse is still in the era of low expectations and they marry someone in the accumulation phase, or in the pre-retirement phase there will naturally be conflicts.

My sister was in a bi-generational marriage (she late 30's, he mid 50's) and while she was still a fairly young and vibrant person, he was ready for retirement, then he fell ill and my sister became his caretaker for many years before his death. I can't help but feel that she gave up some of the best years of her life sitting in hospital rooms worried sick.

I think it's very important to spend a lot of time together before marriage (over a year) and recognize that things like money attitudes and visions for a particular type of future should correspond or you will probably not make a happy match. I don't necessarily recommend waiting as long as we did to get married (eight years!), but we know each others thoughts on such things and they align really well. We often don't even have to ask to know what the others response will be to financial issues that arise.
That hits home and makes sense. Stages of life. Same here and now I'm getting rid of things, don't even need two cars (can't figure out why some on here have 3, 4, or 5 cars) and I want experiences and to make memories. I have time now for enjoyment of life.

What can they do if they are in different stages of life? With the age difference, they will always be at different stages.

As for being made fun of as a renter--when I was a kid there was a house in the neighborhood that wasn't owned by the occupants. It was rented. A family would move in and then move out again in a year. I was friends with a girl who lived there for a year--I don't know what the story was but it seemed like people sort of looked down on the people who would live in that house.

I remember when I was friends with that girl, I got the impression that they were poor. Probably from the household furnishings. I didn't look down on her or make fun of her but kids can be mean. So I can see the truth in how living in a rented house could cause a kid to be ridiculed. It probably does happen. In the OP's case though it shouldn't even be an issue.
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Old 11-08-2016, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Missouri
346 posts, read 160,608 times
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I don't think your Baby Boomer is representative of an entire generation.

Our American dream was just to own a house large enough that we weren't tripping over one another, since when we first got married we lived in a tiny, shabby one-bedroom apartment. Never aspired to a McMansion, a boat, or RV, though we each have a kayak.

We both have always worked but will never be able to match the standard of living of our families of origin, even though each of us came from families of three or more kids with only one parent who worked.
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Old 11-08-2016, 04:17 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,799 posts, read 5,474,276 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janedoe1972 View Post
I am a Generation X in a relationship with a Baby Boomer and my idea of The American Dream is so radically different than his. I don't believe you need a boat/RV or even to live in a house to be happy. You like your job, are content with your trailer/condo/apartment, have enough money for bills and savings as well as a little entertainment on the side, and have a family who loves you...THAT is my idea of The American Dream. But that isn't enough for my significant other. He just cannot bring himself to count his blessings and be happy. He says it has nothing to do with me...it is just something he is upset with himself about, that he didn't achieve HIS idea of success. He is even convinced that if we do not live in a house (with a mortgage, not a rental house) by the time our son is in school that other kids will make fun of him.
I don't think it was as much my American Dream as it was in what I want to do.

I want to study various applications, which to summarize it one way, could be described as applications that could be used in future deep space or colonies.

For that, I needed a ranch. The development continued from there.
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Old 11-08-2016, 04:18 PM
 
12,555 posts, read 16,649,228 times
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As long as the American Dream lasts, and it does seem to be fading fast, I believe it's definition has less to do with whole generations and more to do with individuals. Those who have wanted large homes, big boats, sports cars and mountain cabins have always been around America. The same applies to those who seek only to slip quietly from point A (adolescence) to point B (death) with minimal investments in their lives. Both types of people have been around since the colonial days of America.

If you decide early in life to just slip by with no savings, no investments, never-ending debt and a fear of ownership, you have no one but yourself to blame when your last days on this Earth are spent being bitter. Then too, it's possible that in the end not just the society in which you have to depend upon will lose respect for you but your own family may even turn against you. Debt does not die with one's death. It's either past to your surviving family or to the society in which you took that debt.

Live for today but plan to live tomorrow.
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Old 11-08-2016, 05:44 PM
 
14,306 posts, read 15,126,008 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
T....... (can't figure out why some on here have 3, 4, or 5 cars) and I want experiences and to make memories. ..........
In my case, I'm a car guy, cars are my hobby and I have the means to pursue it.

If my fortunes changed for the worst I could, and would, sell them off to meet our needs.
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Old 11-08-2016, 06:12 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,126,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
Truly; I cannot speak for the OP & my personal issue is not that I married a Boomer.

More so; I married the WRONG Boomer.

But there might be some significance in the revelation made several years ago that "Generation-X ... would be the first generation in the history of the USA that would NOT be able to do better than their parents generation."

Generation X: America’s neglected ‘middle child’ | Pew Research Center

I remember thinking to myself when I heard that ..."You know; that is very significant."

That "standard" is something Americans seem to have held very near & dear since there was an America.

And supposedly, the conditions that factored into this reality were set into motion a long time ago. In other words; we did not create this & we would not be able to fix it (in time for us) either.

Maybe ... we did not grow up with the same pressure a Boomer may have had to "do better than".

"He who dies with the most toys; wins." ... Was not a fight we would be bringing a dog to.

Maybe ...We, as a generation, re-defined what "winning" meant. For us & for us only (as nobody seems to know for sure yet where the Millenials will "rank").

Maybe the Boomers will be the LAST generation to measure up to that "do better than your parents generation" yardstick. And I think the possibility does exist that this could impact interpersonal relationships between Boomers & Generation X.

Maybe. I don't know; just sort of thinking "out loud" here!
Me and my parents are a typical use case. When my parents got married my dad only had a bachelors and my mom was a college drop out. Still, just a few weeks after having me they bought a 2/2/1 house in a good suburb and already had two late model cars. My Dad got great job after great job in tech, my mom went back to school, finished bachelors, got masters. Dad eventually got masters. Then I was a latch key when Mom went back to work. Upgraded to a better house, a 3/2/2 in an even more prestigious location. They were able to send me and my bro to college through undergrad. At the end of the day, they wound up typical trailing edge Silent Gen and right on that income curve. Stats say the Silents fared the best of any US generation since the Revolution.

Along come I. Got that bachelors right away, went into tech right away. Clawed my way through however I could, but always there was a mass of competitors with 5 - 10 years more experience, just ahead of me, clogging the promotion path. Eventually met future wife, nearly done with her masters. She went into tech. We been DINKs for years. Still, we've done and redone the math, we will never reach the peaks of either set of parents. And the stats agree. X are experiencing worse outcomes at given ages versus Silents.
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Old 11-08-2016, 06:28 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,921 posts, read 2,272,349 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly View Post
Me and my parents are a typical use case. When my parents got married my dad only had a bachelors and my mom was a college drop out. Still, just a few weeks after having me they bought a 2/2/1 house in a good suburb and already had two late model cars. My Dad got great job after great job in tech, my mom went back to school, finished bachelors, got masters. Dad eventually got masters. Then I was a latch key when Mom went back to work. Upgraded to a better house, a 3/2/2 in an even more prestigious location. They were able to send me and my bro to college through undergrad. At the end of the day, they wound up typical trailing edge Silent Gen and right on that income curve. Stats say the Silents fared the best of any US generation since the Revolution.

Along come I. Got that bachelors right away, went into tech right away. Clawed my way through however I could, but always there was a mass of competitors with 5 - 10 years more experience, just ahead of me, clogging the promotion path. Eventually met future wife, nearly done with her masters. She went into tech. We been DINKs for years. Still, we've done and redone the math, we will never reach the peaks of either set of parents. And the stats agree. X are experiencing worse outcomes at given ages versus Silents.
Yes; my parents are also Silents.

I don't "get out " much but I can think of not one of my peers who have exceeded; let alone matched, the success of their parents.

Well; with one exception & that would be my ex-husband... His parents were late 40's Boomers & fell into the drug scene.

He is literally the only one I can think of & that is more of a case of his elders doing "less" not really of him doing "more".
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Old 11-08-2016, 10:48 PM
gg
 
Location: Pittsburgh
17,922 posts, read 18,237,420 times
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Boomers a great retirement. Gen X? Work till you die to support the likes of Trump. Enjoy the wonderful day!
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Old 11-08-2016, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Missouri
346 posts, read 160,608 times
Reputation: 943
Not exactly. The Greatest Generation, my parents, had a great retirement. My Boomer husband and I can't touch it, despite having three more degrees and one more full-time job than they did. And three less kids. And paying off the credit card completely each month. And no international travel every year. And no expensive resort and cruise vacations twice a year. And no new car every three years. And consistently living below our means. Yes, we Boomers are living the good life, all right!

Last edited by CatHerder; 11-08-2016 at 11:03 PM..
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