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Old 11-07-2016, 06:27 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,929 posts, read 2,274,474 times
Reputation: 16585

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I forgot to add to my post #60:

I too; like the OP, went through a phase of blaming (actually wondering if I should be blaming) his Boomer generation status...

"Was this why? Is it a "mutual competition" scenario? Was he indoctrinated somehow with the dawn of mass media that he HAD to have it all? And that having it all meant this, that & the other?"

I did, also, wonder if "White Male Privilege" was to blame ...

" He's a 6'4" 240lb heathy man, never had to look over his shoulder in a dark parking lot, never had to fear if his car broke down on the side of the road, always was called Sir, his authority never questioned, never patronized ...every door wide open ... Top of the Food Chain, that one is ... born in the USA; the Golden Boy of human existence ...Is that it?"

... You know what? I think thats a bunch of baloney now. There are good & bad in every generation & every race & every gender.

The mistakes were all MINE, really. I wanted an "older man" (still do) because I thought that meant "stronger than me".

Just like the saying "Don't mistake kindness for weakness" goes; I think I mistook "As***le" for strength".

Darn it; I always overthink things!
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Old 11-07-2016, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,233 posts, read 4,123,924 times
Reputation: 15560
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Yes....and we've all heard about your wonderful income and having homes in two states, etc, etc. You and the OP are not living in the same financial universe. While renting is not necessarily the dream of most folks, it is the REALITY of many. Most renters don't have to pay for a new roof, or water heater, or to put in appliances, or spend every weekend mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, etc, or paying someone to do it. If you, as a homeowner, don't honestly think that homeownership is more expensive than renting...explain why so many lower income people still rent. You're being disingenuous.

I'm being disingenuous? No. In an apples to apples comparison, renting will be more expensive. A landlord will have the same expenses as a homeowner. Probably more, as a lot of tenents aren't going to treat a rental the way a homeowner treats their home. And he's looking to make a profit. That home down the street that renting for $200 more than my PITA is a perfect example. Those renters are paying $200 more a month and they will have the same expenses or time invested for utilities and taking care of the yard and snow removal, etc. I was responding to an apples/oranges comparison. Sure, I could rent an apartment for a lot less than my house, but it would come with a serious decline in quality of life.
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Old 11-07-2016, 06:50 PM
 
106 posts, read 89,748 times
Reputation: 247
coschristi...Your situation almost mirrors mine to the T. Why I stay? Because he is a great father to our son. If we were to separate, it would devastate our son.
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Old 11-07-2016, 07:23 PM
 
33,046 posts, read 22,039,041 times
Reputation: 8970
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
Yes....and we've all heard about your wonderful income and having homes in two states, etc, etc. You and the OP are not living in the same financial universe. While renting is not necessarily the dream of most folks, it is the REALITY of many. Most renters don't have to pay for a new roof, or water heater, or to put in appliances, or spend every weekend mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, etc, or paying someone to do it. If you, as a homeowner, don't honestly think that homeownership is more expensive than renting...explain why so many lower income people still rent. You're being disingenuous.

(1) lower income = many lower income people pay a high proportion of their income on shelter, which makes it difficult to accumulate an adequate down payment to buy a home.

(2) lower income = many lower income people do not have income sufficient to qualify for a mortgage payment they can afford (i.e. their income does not meet lenders' required ratios).

(3) many lower income people have impaired credit which disqualifies them from mortgage financing.
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Old 11-07-2016, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,608 posts, read 4,680,291 times
Reputation: 27816
It doesn't matter what else there is.

The American Dream is NO HOA.

We have two houses no mortgages, 3 cars, 1 compact RV, a couple of Segway i2s...

But NONE of that is as important as living somewhere where busybodies cannot prevail.
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Old 11-07-2016, 08:30 PM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
1,936 posts, read 1,202,324 times
Reputation: 4294
If you asked me what my idea of the American dream was 40 years ago, my answer would have been radically different from what it is today.. Even 20 years ago my answer would have been different.

Now as a boomer, my idea of the American dream is to just have my house paid off, a vehicle to drive and husband that cleans up after himself.
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Old 11-07-2016, 08:53 PM
 
628 posts, read 402,322 times
Reputation: 3541
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post


THAT can be a tall order! (but a worthwhile quest) maybe we should start a 'C-D RoadFood blog / data base. When in this area, here is the SPOT! tried Yelp, trip advisor, google reviews last week.

Gravely disappointed.
For the great mexican food, most restaurants here in Pueblo. Also, most houses as well. Not Chinese food, but also incredible Italian and Polish.
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Old 11-07-2016, 09:58 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,641 posts, read 23,224,516 times
Reputation: 48777
Quote:
Originally Posted by janedoe1972 View Post
I am a Generation X in a relationship with a Baby Boomer and my idea of The American Dream is so radically different than his. I don't believe you need a boat/RV or even to live in a house to be happy. You like your job, are content with your trailer/condo/apartment, have enough money for bills and savings as well as a little entertainment on the side, and have a family who loves you...THAT is my idea of The American Dream. But that isn't enough for my significant other. He just cannot bring himself to count his blessings and be happy. He says it has nothing to do with me...it is just something he is upset with himself about, that he didn't achieve HIS idea of success. He is even convinced that if we do not live in a house (with a mortgage, not a rental house) by the time our son is in school that other kids will make fun of him.

I think you are stereotyping baby boomers. We are a large generation spanning three decades, and we all do not think and act alike.

I was born in the late 50s. I have friends who insisted on an urban life, lived in NYC, had a series of Volvos and to second home. They traveled, but to unusual places. They have cats, not kids.

We have other friends who settled down in suburbia. They were born in the early 60s, had four children and are grandparents. They don't have a boat or a motor home. But, my friend's husband has a motorcycle.

Some people of my HUGE generation want to replicate the childhoods that they had in the suburbs. Others don't. It has nothing to do with being a baby boomer. I am sure that if you looked at "Generation X" you would see differences in your own generation.

Your significant other wants things that you do not. I am not sure what part his "generation plays in this.
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Old 11-08-2016, 12:19 AM
 
14,307 posts, read 15,127,911 times
Reputation: 8348
Quote:
Originally Posted by janedoe1972 View Post
I am a Generation X in a relationship with a Baby Boomer and my idea of The American Dream is so radically different than his. I don't believe you need a boat/RV or even to live in a house to be happy. You like your job, are content with your trailer/condo/apartment, have enough money for bills and savings as well as a little entertainment on the side, and have a family who loves you...THAT is my idea of The American Dream. But that isn't enough for my significant other. He just cannot bring himself to count his blessings and be happy. He says it has nothing to do with me...it is just something he is upset with himself about, that he didn't achieve HIS idea of success. He is even convinced that if we do not live in a house (with a mortgage, not a rental house) by the time our son is in school that other kids will make fun of him.
Boomer here (1953).

I'm living my American dream which is to be able to do the things I like to do and live the way I want to live.

We do own our home, eat out whenever we want, are paying for our son's bills at the university and are closing in on a rather affluent (by our standards) retirement.

I enjoy cars (we have six counting my wife and son's).

We love taking road trips and doing the Air BnB thing or just camping out.

Not into boats.

I do like living in detached housing with a minimum 1/2 acre property in a wooded, hilly area and will when we retire to a new locale.

No desire for a second home.

I give thanks for my emotional, physical and material blessings every day
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Old 11-08-2016, 01:17 AM
 
5,819 posts, read 5,178,928 times
Reputation: 17729
Quote:
Originally Posted by grampaTom View Post
I always understood the American Dream to be that you can rise above your current socioeconomic level by education and hard work.
This.

And that has nothing to do with what you spend your money on.

Many of us Boomers were and remain part of a very strong anti-materialistic movement and have never cared much about owning stuff.
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