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Part of my significant other's financial issues involve his ex-wives. He has been married four times and three of those times he had to pay alimony and/or child support. At one time, he owned a house along with his fourth ex-wife and she let us rent the house and said she would put our rent toward the mortgage...which she did not and she let the house go into foreclosure. So we had no legal recourse. Me and my SO had to move out and my SO had to declare bankruptcy. We make about $45,000 a year and live in an apartment (albeit a very nice one). But...yeah...he has made some very poor choices with women before which has prevented him from living HIS version of The American Dream and he really regrets it.
I am a Generation X in a relationship with a Baby Boomer and my idea of The American Dream is so radically different than his. I don't believe you need a boat/RV or even to live in a house to be happy. You like your job, are content with your trailer/condo/apartment, have enough money for bills and savings as well as a little entertainment on the side, and have a family who loves you...THAT is my idea of The American Dream. But that isn't enough for my significant other. He just cannot bring himself to count his blessings and be happy. He says it has nothing to do with me...it is just something he is upset with himself about, that he didn't achieve HIS idea of success. He is even convinced that if we do not live in a house (with a mortgage, not a rental house) by the time our son is in school that other kids will make fun of him.
This is an issue with your partner, perhaps they should consider professional guidance to help them get this worked into a non issue.
I was in NYC a couple weeks ago and stopped in a place for a pizza. Pizza was $12. I ordered a salad and a glass of wine. The wine was $13 and the salad $16. My bill was $50 by the time tax was added- and more with tip.
Next to me were two young men...just the type who are now making the 200K per year each.
They ordered two pizzas with a bunch of toppings...a couple salads, a side or two and then - as I watched - they each had 3 fancy cocktails. In NYC these had to be $20 each. I left before they did, but their bill had to be about $200...in a PIZZA place.
Imagine the future compounded value of that money - all pissed (and pooped) back out within a few hours.
I'd like to know what pizza parlor you popped in to. Definitely not the place in my old neighborhood in Flushing or around the corner from my office on 2nd Ave. 2 slices and a coke - 10 bucks.
I was in NYC a couple weeks ago and stopped in a place for a pizza. Pizza was $12. I ordered a salad and a glass of wine. The wine was $13 and the salad $16. My bill was $50 by the time tax was added- and more with tip.
Next to me were two young men...just the type who are now making the 200K per year each.
They ordered two pizzas with a bunch of toppings...a couple salads, a side or two and then - as I watched - they each had 3 fancy cocktails. In NYC these had to be $20 each. I left before they did, but their bill had to be about $200...in a PIZZA place.
Imagine the future compounded value of that money - all pissed (and pooped) back out within a few hours.
Meh... so they spent $200.
By your own account, they could well afford it.
And your implication that they otherwise have no savings or investments is ludicrous. They could have fully funded IRAs, emergency funds, college funds, etc - for all you know.
What good is making all that money if you can't go out with friends and enjoy it?
I'd like to know what pizza parlor you popped in to. Definitely not the place in my old neighborhood in Flushing or around the corner from my office on 2nd Ave. 2 slices and a coke - 10 bucks.
Flushing, NY is not NYC. Food is a LOT cheaper there.
Flushing, NY is not NYC. Food is a LOT cheaper there.
It's not Manhattan. I know what you're saying. My point was the average NYer regardless of what borough you're in isn't dropping $50 on pizza. I realize the poster was visiting and was obviously eating at a nice sit down restaurant.
BTW, mathjak is in Bayside and always says he lives in NYC. At least Flushing has a subway stop.
It sort of does. Post WW II, the United States experienced unprecedented growth. You had better odds entering the labor market in 1950 than in 1990. If you entered the labor market in 1950, you had the chance of spending your entire career with the same employer and having a nice defined-benefit pension. In 1990, you were lucky if your employer matched your 401(k). Mine certainly never did. Few people remained with the same employer for even a decade. It's been more challenging to accumulate wealth over the last couple of decades. A balanced mutual fund portfolio in a 401(k) hasn't done anything like in earlier years. In addition, there wasn't the income stratification there is now. If you're not in the top-20% today, your inflation-adjusted pay is eroding.
No my idea of American Dream is raising my lifestyle to whatever level I choose with hard work and education; that my children be able to raise theirs with hard work and education
It is not about things but I don't think Ill of those who chose boats etc if that is their lifestyle
BTW, a paid off mortgage is a singularly wonderful thing
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