U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-08-2016, 12:50 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,537 posts, read 39,914,033 times
Reputation: 23643

Advertisements

Seems to be a different world, and a different definition of 'struggle'.

we were lucky, (and successful through hard work)
our kids are lucky (and successful through hard work)

In this life, I have only had 2 yrs of CHOICE for living / jobs / activities .... Age 16 and 17

family need has dictated my 'where/when/ how'

currently in a very short reprieve between eldercare and spousal care, but no longer 'free' to make a 'break'.

Maybe in my next life, as a cow or toad or rat ...
This life has not been too bad, though I have had to be 'dusted-off' / have some corners removed frequently.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-08-2016, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,557 posts, read 17,535,380 times
Reputation: 27602
Don't really see how this is a retirement topic, but I'll pitch in my $.02.

I'm an older Millennial and maybe it's because of my conservative worldview, but I know very few young people who are not "sucking it up when they have no other choice." I think most people try to take action to improve their circumstances to the extent they can and know how. That's not saying that what they end up doing is the most efficient or that it's even helpful, but they are making attempts.

The people I know around my age who ran into problems and didn't take action to correct it are still in a major mess. I have a 27 year old ex who graduated college here in small town Tennessee three years ago - was never able to find decent paying work here and never moved off. Did well on the LSAT but never got the motivation to go to law school when mother died in 2013. She's bounced between restaurant and retail work, finally getting an "adult job" as a bank teller a few months ago. Anytime I see her, it's whining and moaning about how bad things suck here, but the rubber never meets the road in terms of doing anything about it. She's had a couple offers in the $40k-$50k range in Nashville, but says it's too expensive to move and would rather stay here making $10-$12/hr. At this rate, she'll be running in circles her whole life.

As for people graduating college now, the economy is a lot better than it was six years ago, but people forget that all of this is so local that speaking in such generalities is borderline meaningless. If you have a semi-useful degree and are in a major metro area, you're likely fine. Unless you're in health care, education, or some other service rendered on site, most small towns and rural areas are going to be tough for young people.

To some extent, the moving from the small town to a big city has always existed, but seems more acute now with the way the economy has changed.

For me personally, I moved back to TN after moving to IA for a year and hating it. No, I didn't like Iowa and shouldn't have moved, but should never have come back to TN under the circumstances. I took a temp. job making 60% of what I did in IA as an FTE with the plan to move to Charlotte or Nashville in a few months. That few months turned into nearly a year and a half, with a spell of unemployment, two more jobs, each paying less than the last, and ultimately a move to a city that was just a dart on a map. I was depressed - my career was going in reverse, bills were piling up, personal problems were piling up, going to the end of 2013 I was beginning to feel suicidal.

I poured everything I had into the job search and things did turn around, but it was a lot of hard work and discomfort for awhile. I worked hard and picked myself during those hard times, but honestly some of the factors that led to the improving circumstances were out of my control - a generally improving economy and dumb luck in getting hired where I did. I still feel like I'm hanging by a thread each day and that I could be right back to where I was.

I do get comfort knowing that surviving all that stuff in 2013 made me stronger. If something does happen and I have to move again, I'm in a much better spot, have seen a lot more, and can plan things better. If the bottom falls out of my finances, I honestly don't have much to lose and nothing I couldn't fairly readily replace. I might get knocked down but I have enough skills and street smarts to not be down for long.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 02:05 PM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,046,206 times
Reputation: 12810
Every day!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque NM
1,656 posts, read 1,521,661 times
Reputation: 3627
My first college degree was in science and I found that I could not get much of a job or make much money (e.g., $30K in today's dollars). So I decided to get an engineering degree and found a lab tech job at the local university that was flexible and allowed me to take classes for free. It took 3 years of working full-time and going to college part-time but I finished. And then there were few jobs in my area of the country because of the oil bust so it took 6 months to find a job. My net worth was negative until about age 35.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,760 posts, read 10,832,098 times
Reputation: 16632
I think retirees have the benefit of looking back on life's trials with a different perspective than those who are in the midst or looking forward to them.

In my own case, I grew-up in a single-parent home where my mother supported three kids on secretarial wages ... without help from her ex's and a strong resistance to taking 'charity.' It wasn't pretty, but my sisters and I came through it with a strong sense of self-reliance. We knew we had to get through whatever life threw at us on our own and couldn't expect any family help. (Early on, I can remember working 2-3 jobs at a time just to make ends meet. We all came through with solid professional careers and accomplishments.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,609 posts, read 4,680,291 times
Reputation: 27836
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamary1 View Post
When my husband died suddenly, I went into a minor tailspin....just couldn't get my act together for a while. I didn't go back to work (I didn't have to), but that was a mistake; I needed that routine. Five months later, my old boss called and said "OK, time to come back to work" and wouldn't take no for an answer. It saved me. I guess you'd call that dusting myself off and moving on. Almost 11 years later, I'm now retired and emotionally strong.
I admire your resilience. I don't think I would have done anywhere near as well in your place.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,878 posts, read 2,379,078 times
Reputation: 5335
Quote:
Originally Posted by ABQ2015 View Post
My first college degree was in science and I found that I could not get much of a job or make much money (e.g., $30K in today's dollars). So I decided to get an engineering degree and found a lab tech job at the local university that was flexible and allowed me to take classes for free. It took 3 years of working full-time and going to college part-time but I finished. And then there were few jobs in my area of the country because of the oil bust so it took 6 months to find a job. My net worth was negative until about age 35.
Yep at age 35 I was well in the negative..failed marriage..dead beat dad..had 2 young boyz//worked full-time a HC provider..had pretty well a fixed income..BUT tightening belt..cutting extra spending..Zero RRSP ( Retirement investments) and only a few years of Pension plan investment...Well..GUess what..After all the sacrifices..and doing without vacations..extra spending..Kids finished their schooling..moved on..Their dad never spent one dime in support..BUT they still had relationship...which was fine with me.. So many somehow believe the world owes them..BUT instead it comes down to the same old thing " Live within your means"..Why does it seem normal to have every thing electonic...why buy anything that puts you into debt unless you cannot afford it??

Point I'm raising really comes down to..Millennial's just don't get what it takes to stop using credit cards ( Interest rates now is what I use to believe was Mob style interest rates)..@ 19-22% on balances... Example now is with balance of 500.00 they tell you..by paying minimum payment..it would be 4 years to pay balance..That's crazy... For myself..I use credit cards only when I know I can pay off the balance in full..IF not do without!! I tried to teach my kids..BUT society truly does influence what they decide to do~~

The interest rate for borrowing has been so low for more than 8 years..But that's only good for people like myself..who can proved a history of paying bills..no defaults..no bankruptcy History..and I cannot believe if money is tight..Corporations NOW refuse to even listen to you when you acknowledge debt..THEY prefer to harass and never offer anything else... It's ridiculous...BUT time have changed from the old days..Corporations just do not try to work with their consumers like they did back then...

It's very difficult to blame anyone for not wanting to risk ..when there is a constant negativity floated by politicians.. and only hear about there is no way to get out of it..because Legislators refuse to work together enough to make laws and pass laws to offer alternatives or pathways to stimulate people to have Hope..

We will see..BUT I worked over 46 years...never made more than $56,000.00 annually ..yet why did I make it? Never took handouts..other than maternity leave 10 weeks only for each child...and no workplace income...But then again..I had no HUUGE medical bills either...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,726,438 times
Reputation: 32304
In answer to the OP's question, I have been knocked down big time and dusted myself off once in my 30's and once in my 50's. Both times I didn't see it coming. Both were times of bleak and total despair. Too painful to write about, but I'm grateful that I'm still alive and have an enjoyable life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Kirkland, WA (Metro Seattle)
3,982 posts, read 3,250,733 times
Reputation: 7053
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
When have you been confronted by overwhelming obstacles in life -- and instead of simply hiding-out, dusted yourself off and done what you had to do to make things work?
Every morning at 0900 when I show up to work, or start looking for work if I'm unemployed (happens on-occasion in tech, usually rather suddenly). I'm bigger than they are, in a whole bunch of ways, and it always works out.

Life is one long series of beat-downs day-over-day, it's how one faces that adversity (and damn little else) that defines winners from losers. I just get up, put on a big ol' grin, and move the ball down field. Or, go down swinging, preferring to die on my feet than live on my knees or cowering under the desk like some people. I don't associate with the latter.

I watch work life crushing a few in their twenties, and even early thirties. A few rise above. That's probably how it's always been, hopefully we're not creating an "entitlement generation." I choose not to believe that Gen X was the last with any backbone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2016, 09:57 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
13,784 posts, read 23,800,954 times
Reputation: 6195
Having a handicapped baby and my wife having an awful time adjusting to our new reality, having two additional youngsters to raise in addition to our new addition. Realizing that with this my wife wasn't going to be able to work, feeling like she needed to dedicate herself full time to child issues. So I had to confront both the new disruption to our rather young lives plus the new reality of getting by raising three kids with only one income.

But over 30 years later, we did fine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top