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Old 11-08-2016, 11:43 AM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,061,406 times
Reputation: 12838

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Ugh - just spent part of my morning with a sibling.

Talk about an Eeyore - cloud of gloom always overhead.

Money is not an issue. Most of her issues can be solved by tossing money at it and just go on your merry way.

Is it too late? Could it be depression? Should I suggest she see a doctor? I am starting to hate being around her. She is 68 and it seems to be getting worse.
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Old 11-08-2016, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,845 posts, read 4,959,765 times
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Was she always pessimistic?

Dispositions stick.

If it's depression, do a Google search for relatively high dose of Niacin. That works for some people.
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Old 11-08-2016, 01:28 PM
 
381 posts, read 352,755 times
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I believe it is too late. Tale of my two sisters: 67 yr old = doom, gloom. 77 yr old = ready for any new challenge. Same personality their entire lives. I much rather be around the 77 yr old. I merely "listen" to the younger one but I invite the older one to join me in activities. Money has nothing to do with attitude.
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Old 11-08-2016, 01:38 PM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,061,406 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lastfire View Post
I believe it is too late. Tale of my two sisters: 67 yr old = doom, gloom. 77 yr old = ready for any new challenge. Same personality their entire lives. I much rather be around the 77 yr old. I merely "listen" to the younger one but I invite the older one to join me in activities. Money has nothing to do with attitude.
Its so hard to just listen, because it then ruins my day. I come home with a stomach ache and just thinking about what she said. Debbie Downer.

And I am considered the fun person. I dread going over there especially if no one else is going to be there.

She has kids, grandkids, is a widow - so yes that could be part of it. I never was around her much when her husband was alive. Its been 10 years since he passed. I was never comfortable around him, so I stayed away. He was kind of stern. Maybe he rubbed off on her. She isn't what I would call a "giving" person.

It bothers me that I almost don't like her especially since it is family.
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Old 11-08-2016, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,955 posts, read 5,307,586 times
Reputation: 17977
It never changes if people let them get away with it. When they start to complain, laugh at them. When you leave tell them you are going out to have fun. Always tell them about the great times you have. Never let them keep talking. always interrupt about something happy.
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Old 11-08-2016, 02:31 PM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,061,406 times
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Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
It never changes if people let them get away with it. When they start to complain, laugh at them. When you leave tell them you are going out to have fun. Always tell them about the great times you have. Never let them keep talking. always interrupt about something happy.
I should mention that she did do one thing I mentioned, but then when she made the move, that made her think of what that would require of her.

Yikes.

But yes, I generally try to see the positive side of things. Even the ticket her GD got this week. Heck - got that first one out of the way and no one was hurt! Now she will pay more attention.
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Old 11-08-2016, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,878 posts, read 14,390,517 times
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Yeah, it might be depression. Does depression run in your family?

Or, it could just be a mental habit of complaining.

When she starts in a negative vein, cut your visit short, and tell her that you don't like to hear so much negativity. Do that often enough, and she might change. Or not.

But there is no reason for you to spend time listening to a complaint after complaint every time you spend time with her.

What a waste of both your times!

Maybe you and she could go somewhere together, even if it is only out to lunch. It might be that a change would be enjoyable to her, and thus, would put her in a better frame of mind. It might be something to try. But, honestly, you can limit your time with her if she continues to do this every time you are together. How draining.
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Old 11-08-2016, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,672,920 times
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Definitely yes. A senior can absolutely change his or her outlook on life but only if they want to.
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Old 11-08-2016, 03:33 PM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,061,406 times
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Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Definitely yes. A senior can absolutely change his or her outlook on life but only if they want to.
I sure hope she does. She has good kids and grandkids.
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Old 11-08-2016, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Podunk, IA
4,034 posts, read 1,819,084 times
Reputation: 4310
My mom knows someone that that... full on negative all the time.
Not only that... she repeats herself constantly.


My mom told her she was gonna quit visiting if she didn't cut it out.
Don't know if it worked.
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