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Old 11-20-2016, 09:17 AM
 
Location: East TN
10,979 posts, read 9,613,733 times
Reputation: 40057

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I've met 2 or 3 folks that have posted here and in the Knoxville forum. All were folks considering a move to the area and wanted to meet some real people who live here. I really enjoyed our meetings. I think my hubby felt awkward, having never even read these folks posts, but he was a good sport and came along.

I definitely feel that I've almost gotten to know some posters, and I like their take on the world in general. Some I admire for their perseverance through adversity and their inner strength. Others I admire for their level of knowledge about financial issues. I also feel that some come across as a little arrogant, while others seem very down to earth. I'm not sure I would want to say whom I would like to meet, because offense might be taken by those not mentioned.
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Old 11-20-2016, 10:12 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,199 posts, read 10,163,665 times
Reputation: 32136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post

All my life I've been better able to express myself on paper than face-to-face. Sometimes my brain works faster than my common sense so I'm careful not to speak about controversial issues until I have my thoughts composed. Writing on a forum offers that opportunity.


It's a fact that the majority of folks who like to spend a lot of time on internet forums tend toward the introverted type of personality. That doesn't necessarily mean that we are reluctant to share our opinions.


The truth is people rarely ask me any questions in real life. They're too busy talking about themselves. So I like having a place to come where I can offer an opinion.

I couldn't rep you again so I just bolded the parts that definitely apply to me also.
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Old 11-20-2016, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,695 posts, read 28,309,077 times
Reputation: 35862
Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
My daughter-in-law and son actually ended up moving to the same town as her best "internet friend" 5 years ago..
( they co-moderated the same internet site )

When they did meet face to face they had a 30 minute " awkward visit".........(daughter-in-law's words ) and haven't visited or spoken to each other since.

An "internet friend" is entirely different than a real face to face friend in the real world.
There are exceptions, however. I became good friends in the real world with two Internet friends. They were just as they appeared in real life as they were online.
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Old 11-20-2016, 11:37 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,308,419 times
Reputation: 29336
I've met a good half dozen or more posters from this and other C-D fora. One has become a good friend of my wife's and mine. It's always been pleasant.
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Old 11-20-2016, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
11,907 posts, read 8,227,609 times
Reputation: 44311
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
I couldn't rep you again so I just bolded the parts that definitely apply to me also.
Well, now I know why you're on my list!


Some people believe that "everybody lies on the internet." Maybe that's true. I have my doubts. We all have various levels of discernment. And we all have different abilities to share ourselves as we see ourselves.

Concrete binary thinkers are going to have a little more difficulty with this, I'm guessing.

I keep in mind that none of us can see ourselves as others see us without their help. So sometimes a "lie" is just a blind spot.


What I look for is a fairly consistent balance between sharing faults/mistakes and skills/achievements. Those people probably are going to be painting a pretty accurate picture of who they are.


Example: Who comes across as most attractive in a first post?


1. I was a millionaire by the time I was twenty-one and the ladies flock to me.


2. Anyone have some good ideas about how to meet a good woman?


Both might be sharing their version of themselves but it can take a while of reading them before you see a larger picture or the person behind the words.
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Old 11-20-2016, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 24,921,573 times
Reputation: 50788
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post

All my life I've been better able to express myself on paper than face-to-face. Sometimes my brain works faster than my common sense so I'm careful not to speak about controversial issues until I have my thoughts composed. Writing on a forum offers that opportunity.


It's a fact that the majority of folks who like to spend a lot of time on internet forums tend toward the introverted type of personality. That doesn't necessarily mean that we are reluctant to share our opinions.


The truth is people rarely ask me any questions in real life. They're too busy talking about themselves. So I like having a place to come where I can offer an opinion.
1 I feel the same way about expressing myself in writing. I do a better job with nuance when I write, than when I speak. Sometimes I write one post two or three times to make sure I am typing out what I really want to say. (Since I have gotten old, I find that I leave out more words, and commit typos too often for my taste, though.) Writing my opinion is very gratifying sometimes.

2. Well, as I have posted in other threads, I do not identify as an introvert. I don't spend a lot of time on other forums though. At present I only post on City Data.

4. I also agree that people do not ask my advice about much of anything. Even my grown kids do not ask for advice. I like to read what others are facing, and I like to remember how it was, or still is, for me.

I think this is an interesting thread.
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Old 11-20-2016, 02:51 PM
 
9,446 posts, read 6,517,712 times
Reputation: 18898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
I think there's a lot of that. Once I watched a guy I liked to read totally demolish my respect for him one night. It was a disaster.


But something even more common was mentioned by another poster. A lot of us are quiet people in person. In real life I know I do a lot more listening than I do talking.


All my life I've been better able to express myself on paper than face-to-face. Sometimes my brain works faster than my common sense so I'm careful not to speak about controversial issues until I have my thoughts composed. Writing on a forum offers that opportunity.


It's a fact that the majority of folks who like to spend a lot of time on internet forums tend toward the introverted type of personality. That doesn't necessarily mean that we are reluctant to share our opinions.


The truth is people rarely ask me any questions in real life. They're too busy talking about themselves. So I like having a place to come where I can offer an opinion.
^^^ I can relate to this.
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Old 11-20-2016, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,695 posts, read 28,309,077 times
Reputation: 35862
Just as in real life, I have my cautions when I met someone for the first time. Who in the real world hasn't met someone, liked them and they found out later the person was a jerk who had misrepresented themselves? Sometimes the opposite is also the case.

People can be fooled by an individual they meet in person just as they can be fooled by one they meet on screen. I look at people I meet with an eye to what type of individual they are for potential friendships. I have found that what shows me how well I want to know a person is whether or not they contradict themselves at some point regarding who they are or how they are behaving.

I don't trust someone who asks personal questions right off the bat or who has no reason for asking. I want to know why they want to know before I respond.

One advantage of reading people's postings on the Internet is that it's easier to tell by their responses to a variety of subjects as to just how you would want to be around them than to just meet for the first time and try to figure it out. You have the time to think about what they have said; questions they ask, comments they make, that enables you to evaluate as to whether or not you would want them in your life.

It's much easier to avoid someone on an Internet forum than it is in real life if you don't like what they say. If you don't want to communicate with them you don't have to. That's one advantage of sharing whatever you choose to share online and with whom you want to share it.
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Old 11-20-2016, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,837,400 times
Reputation: 18712
I'm always interested in talking to people who have lived in places I've never been, or done things I've never done.
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Old 11-20-2016, 04:51 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 863,356 times
Reputation: 6623
There are so many lovely people here i would like to meet. Almost met one 3 weeks ago [still hope to meet her soon] I am not a total recluse but because of the years I spent that way, I do consider many people I only know as online friends that I KNOW I would also love IRL. I would make a list of extra special people but I think you all know who you are.
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