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Old 11-29-2016, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,259 posts, read 4,143,320 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I take it OP is a man? Between my husband and I, if it were left up to him we would not have any friends or social activities. Not because he's unfriendly, or unsociable, but just because he doesn't make any effort.
Like he says, how come nobody ever emails him? It's because he never emails anyone.
If I didn't make social arrangements, we wouldn't have any.

My point is some men just don't know how to do the schmooze very well.

It's just the opposite with us. I'm the one who always walks the dog and always interacts with the neighbors. My wife rarely ventures out into our beighborhood.
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Old 11-30-2016, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,668,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaErik View Post
It's just the opposite with us. I'm the one who always walks the dog and always interacts with the neighbors. My wife rarely ventures out into our beighborhood.
This is also true of my mom and dad. He always very outgoing and made friends easily. My mom on the other hand was much more reserved. After they retired it was my dad who found new friends while by just going for walks or sitting in the park. My mom was happy just with book club get-togethers once a month.
I'm
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Old 11-30-2016, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,785 posts, read 4,838,667 times
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Our community is not actually 55+, but it turns out that about 80% of the folks here are 55+. We have tons of people out and about...walking the dog, puttering in the yard, going to yard/moving sales, going to the fitness center, playing sports, golfing, eating or having a drink at one of the restaurants or clubhouses. People are everywhere, and the neighborhoods all organize their own block parties in the summer. I'm glad our community has so many clubs and activities. That was really the final deciding factor in our moving here...the ease of meeting people and finding new friends.
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Old 11-30-2016, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,125 posts, read 9,083,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaErik View Post
I have a winter home just down the road from you and I see a lot of my neighbors all the time. There are some who never venture outside, but most do.
Oh you do? Are you in Ocotillo? This is not a 55+ community like Sun Lakes is. There people are always doing stuff because of all the clubs and get togethers, but we do not have that here. In addition, it's a high turnover here. People moving in and out, probably due to loneliness?? It's a beautiful community (Ocotillo) but sort of isolated in south east Chandler.
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Old 11-30-2016, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,259 posts, read 4,143,320 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Oh you do? Are you in Ocotillo? This is not a 55+ community like Sun Lakes is. There people are always doing stuff because of all the clubs and get togethers, but we do not have that here. In addition, it's a high turnover here. People moving in and out, probably due to loneliness?? It's a beautiful community (Ocotillo) but sort of isolated in south east Chandler.

A little further down the road...Green Valley.
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Old 11-30-2016, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,764 posts, read 10,845,692 times
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Before moving to our new location (grandkids, 4-5-years ago), we had lived in our last town for about 30-years. In a manner of speaking, we knew everyone and everyone knew us and we had a plethora of long-standing friendships and connections. We also had our hands full maintaining the friendships we had and weren't really that engaged in the "speed-dating cycle" required to move new acquaintances along to something deeper.

Since moving, we've been actively involved in church and other activities, but, honestly, making new "friends" is a lot of work for us and them (particularly since my wife and I have quite different styles and friend preferences). We're also relatively busy in personal and other activities, travel, etc - plus spending a great deal of time with the grandkids. Still, we've developed about a dozen new friend-acquaintances and aren't really stressed about developing more. The world of strangers, likewise, isn't beating a path to our door.

Another aspect of retired people and new friends is that the traditional avenues that drive people to spend significant time together (children, careers, social clubs, team activities, etc) aren't as prevalent as one grows older -- then, there are the health issues. Also, the sense of urgency to go out and party or socialize in the evenings is greatly diminished.

If one is particularly concerned (or stressed) about the difficulty of making new "friends" as they grow older, they might do well to first do a realistic evaluation of their own expectation levels.

Last edited by jghorton; 11-30-2016 at 05:16 PM..
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Old 12-01-2016, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,950 posts, read 5,305,279 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post

Another aspect of retired people and new friends is that the traditional avenues that drive people to spend significant time together (children, careers, social clubs, team activities, etc) aren't as prevalent as one grows older --
You should have more social clubs and team activities now than when you were working.
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Old 12-01-2016, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,125 posts, read 9,083,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
You should have more social clubs and team activities now than when you were working.
Huh? This may be true if you live in a 55 and over community, where you pay big HOA fees to have these activities, but the average older adult does not.

Those communities are great to make friends (unless the peeps are snarky) and join clubs. If you live in a regular house in a regular community, you are on your own.
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Old 12-01-2016, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,259 posts, read 4,143,320 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Huh? This may be true if you live in a 55 and over community, where you pay big HOA fees to have these activities, but the average older adult does not.

Those communities are great to make friends (unless the peeps are snarky) and join clubs. If you live in a regular house in a regular community, you are on your own.

We have a winter home in a 55+, with all the clubs and pools and rec centers. Yet all of our friendships and activities are unrelated to all those clubs.
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Old 12-02-2016, 03:08 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,950 posts, read 5,305,279 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Huh? This may be true if you live in a 55 and over community, where you pay big HOA fees to have these activities, but the average older adult does not.

Those communities are great to make friends (unless the peeps are snarky) and join clubs. If you live in a regular house in a regular community, you are on your own.
If retired you have much more time for these things. You have more time so you can expand your area for social things.
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