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Old 11-26-2016, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Deep in the Heart of Texas
1,479 posts, read 7,031,596 times
Reputation: 1908

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Quote:
Originally Posted by imagineAA View Post
I can't (yet) wrap my head around spending most of my time doing things purely for fun. That is just the truth.
I retired early 9 years ago from a management job in a large company. Like you, I had always worked--it was just what we did in our family. After I retired, my husband continued to work for the next 5 years. I'm not one to spend idle time, so I volunteered in an adult literacy program at the city library, tutoring immigrants preparing for citizenship. I also helped run an animal welfare organization. I found these "jobs" extremely rewarding because they utilized my skills in a way that was meaningful, but didn't entail the same type of BS I had to negotiate daily in my old career. When my husband finally retired we moved to another state. I volunteer with the local library in our new city and I still work with the same animal welfare group. My husband does his own volunteer work. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you *can* have fun without feeling like that's all you are doing.
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Old 11-27-2016, 12:47 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
747 posts, read 567,454 times
Reputation: 1518
I retired almost three years ago from public agency social work. Bad management, toxic work environment and health problems attributed to work made it easy. Never looked back. Never had problems with my clients, but the workplace was unbearable. My MSW went completely to waste with that lot. Now I love being a house frau and looking after my kitties, and traveling.
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Old 11-27-2016, 06:22 AM
 
1,040 posts, read 889,596 times
Reputation: 2815
Not convinced volunteering is going to be much better than working. I once established and ran my own charity. It was more stressful than work, partially because I cared a lot more about it. There was some big time BS going on. It was very upsetting.

I will look into becoming a part time adjunct, I think. I could deal with part time work for sure.
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Old 11-27-2016, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
94 posts, read 80,707 times
Reputation: 301
To me the biggest thing in contemplating retirement in a few years is money. I don't want to just get by. I want to be able to enjoy early retirement in my late 50's if I can meet my financial goals. You cannot go back once you pull the trigger (at least I can't).
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Old 11-27-2016, 07:00 AM
 
6,303 posts, read 5,042,575 times
Reputation: 12805
Quote:
Originally Posted by imagineAA View Post
Not convinced volunteering is going to be much better than working. I once established and ran my own charity. It was more stressful than work, partially because I cared a lot more about it. There was some big time BS going on. It was very upsetting.

I will look into becoming a part time adjunct, I think. I could deal with part time work for sure.
Yes it can be. I had to quit one group because the main person was nuts. You try to help and they treat you like crap.

I do " hit and run " volunteering. Go as needed between organizations. People that I know that stick with one group are always complaining about the organization. Shouldn't be that way.
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Old 11-27-2016, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Deep in the Heart of Texas
1,479 posts, read 7,031,596 times
Reputation: 1908
Quote:
Originally Posted by imagineAA View Post
Not convinced volunteering is going to be much better than working. I once established and ran my own charity. It was more stressful than work, partially because I cared a lot more about it. There was some big time BS going on. It was very upsetting.

I will look into becoming a part time adjunct, I think. I could deal with part time work for sure.
Because I spent 35 working years being responsible for large budgets and hundreds of people and all of the related issues that arise in corporate management, I deliberately chose volunteer paths that didn't require me to serve in a similar role. I have been fortunate for the past ten years to work in a volunteer capacity with people in two organizations that don't seem to have a personal agenda. Because I mostly work from my home at my convenience providing requested services or provide consultation and big-picture direction to executive management of a volunteer-based organization, I'm able to ignore or disengage from whatever minimal BS arises in either operation.

Along with my workaholic nature, I inherited a desire--or maybe a need--to manage and feel personally responsible for almost everything I am involved in. This trait was an asset to my career but was certain to create a vacuum in my retirement years, making my days feel aimless, which would erode my self-confidence. I was lucky to recognize that I had to learn to give up the feeling that I could do things better, or more quickly, or more accurately and just stop measuring myself by my accomplishments. Once I found the knack of doing that, life got easier and a lot more fun. I'm still driven, but in a different way.

I wish you the best; you seem to have a good understanding of your own personality and I know you will figure out a way to make things work for you.
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Old 11-27-2016, 07:41 AM
 
566 posts, read 248,024 times
Reputation: 1045
Quote:
Originally Posted by Futuremauian View Post
I retired from teaching history (California) after 32 years. Sold the house and moved to Maui. After 6 months of hanging around my condo, was ready to go back to work. My retired neighbors mostly sit around and complain about the pool guy, the gardeners, the homeowner's association, and more.
I now substitute teach at a terrific high school and love every day I spend there. Have been offered full-time positions but now I don't have to sweat test scores, teacher meetings, lesson plans, report cards, etc. It's the best job I've ever had!
Some of us were just meant to stay busy.
I might have written the same thing too. I tried the transitioning to a slower pace at 68. That lasted for 5 months because of the same complaints I kept hearing. As someone to whom metal stimulation, and good intelligent conversation is important, opted to go back to work doing a mixture of consulting, and teaching. Still doing it, and able to do it well at 72. The retirement road is different for us all. We each have to do what makes us contented, fulfilled, and happy!
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Old 11-27-2016, 08:01 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,188,225 times
Reputation: 17199
Quote:
Originally Posted by imagineAA View Post
Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to reply.

Yes, I am a lady and I have a husband. We have interests in common. He, however, has a much higher threshold for unstructured time than I do. To him, not leaving the house for an entire weekend, while spending the time writing and playing computer games by himself, is ideal. I want to blow my brains out if I do that. (Not really. It's just a saying.)

To you, it is not like a root canal. To me, it kind of is.

I come from a long line of people who never retired, and worked many hours throughout their lives. Work is extremely important in my culture--it is what makes you a worthwhile person, no matter what type of work you do, as long as it's honest and you do a good job.

I actually do find my work meaningful in some ways, but there is so much bureaucracy that my accomplishments are mostly limited to completion of tasks rather than big picture stuff. Being a manager sucks in very special ways too--you would be surprised how childish people are. It's annoying and stressful and I am looking forward to leaving it all behind.

I was on a staycation recently and my husband was resistant to leaving the house. I just...ugh...it made me think, "Is this what retirement will be like? Have I just been busting my butt all these years to sit around the house waiting for death?"

Maybe that does not make sense to others, but that is genuinely how I feel/what I thought. And I do need to deal with that so I don't lose my mind.

My plans right now are to do charity work part time, audit college classes, go to lectures, continue to do my hobbies, and perhaps do some sort of mentoring or teaching.

I do have hobbies already--but don't envision those as a full-time endeavor. In addition to coming from a culture that does not believe in retirement, I've also had an extraordinarily difficult life with many struggles. I can't (yet) wrap my head around spending most of my time doing things purely for fun. That is just the truth.
Uh, no I don't think "we" would be surprised about being "a manager".

Did you say that with a straight face?

My suggestion is: instead of pre-planning your depression and admitting that you require structure from external sources....you learn how to structure your OWN environment outside of work instead.

I also doubt that there's anything more extraordinary about the difficulties in your life than plenty of other people.

In MY CULTURE, we call this the humble-brag.

I don't even understand the problem it sounds like you're going to be at odds with your husband and it's freaking you out. Because nothing is stopping you from loading up your schedule after retirement from this gig.
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Old 11-27-2016, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,648,620 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
Uh, no I don't think "we" would be surprised about being "a manager".

Did you say that with a straight face?

My suggestion is: instead of pre-planning your depression and admitting that you require structure from external sources....you learn how to structure your OWN environment outside of work instead.

I also doubt that there's anything more extraordinary about the difficulties in your life than plenty of other people.

In MY CULTURE, we call this the humble-brag.

I don't even understand the problem it sounds like you're going to be at odds with your husband and it's freaking you out. Because nothing is stopping you from loading up your schedule after retirement from this gig.
I agree completely.

OP, just do whatever you want when you want and let your husband do whatever makes him happy. And quit fretting about things that have not yet happened. It will make retirement much more pleasant for both of you.

You don't have to plan your every move in your retirement ahead of time. Remember, retirement is all about being OFF the clock.
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Old 11-27-2016, 01:13 PM
 
5,422 posts, read 3,440,673 times
Reputation: 13657
wow, I don't think the derision and criticism and elements of ridicule at post #48 are warranted at all.
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