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Old 11-27-2016, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,043 posts, read 3,989,022 times
Reputation: 13557

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If you have already gone through everything and have taken anything of value and just need to throw away the rest, Servpro would do that. They are a restoration company, but will also clear out and haul away. www.Servpro.com If it's a situation where the person died in the home and it's now considered a biohazrd they would be perfect for this. I unfortunately had to use them when my father in-law passed away in his condo and no one found him for a week.
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Old 11-27-2016, 11:05 AM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,838 posts, read 18,851,047 times
Reputation: 33746
Make sure you go through all the papers and small personal belongings. It's a painful task but it's part of life. You find all sorts of things, sometimes valuable. One thing I never expected to find was an old letter that my grandmother had written to my mother.

The letter from my (maternal) grandmother apologized for not being there to help out after the new baby was born. By the date on that letter, it was obvious that the new baby was ME. The letter also asked "and how is little Hallie May?" Since my name is not Hallie May, that made me stop and think.

Finally it made sense, something my mother had hidden from me. A rift between my mother and her mother right about the time I was born and the reason I was quickly given some other name for some obscure reason that my mother never seemed comfortable explaining.

From reading that letter, I can see how my grandmother must have agonized because instead of helping my mother, she went to help another daughter who had just been widowed. My mother must have felt so hurt that she reneged on the name they had decided to give me. There's a lot more to that story than my name (that letter had repercussions!) I don't know why my mother saved that painful letter but I'm glad she did. Mysteries I'd always wondered about finally made sense. I don't have to go through life wondering.

(You might also find a stock certificate or a War bond but a letter or a photo can be very meaningful.
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Old 11-27-2016, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
703 posts, read 796,151 times
Reputation: 834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robino1 View Post
Yes, I did. They were family to Mom in every sense except for blood.
Mom's wishes were for me to sell the house to them very cheaply. I just went a bit cheaper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
My siblings & I gave away land worth close to $100,000 (in today's money) to close family friends/neighbors that had helped our late parents for many years. Our dad was working on the gift before he unexpectantly passed away and we followed through with his wishes.
What lovely people you both are. Robin, your post touched me in many ways. I am a stepmom(34 years now), and your post regarding your mom was heart warming. I am so sorry for your loss.

John(OP) - I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find someone to hire to help you with the process.


Marie
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Old 11-27-2016, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,215 posts, read 8,298,253 times
Reputation: 19975
I am finding this thread very helpful.
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Old 11-27-2016, 01:51 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,287 posts, read 4,865,859 times
Reputation: 21683
My Aunt died last month. She had a small house but she had a lot of furniture in it and every piece was crammed full of papers, paid bills, receipts for items she had gotten rid of years ago. She had dozens and dozens of knick-knacks and a lot of clothes with the tags still on them hanging up in the closet. We suspected she had money hidden because she was the cheapest woman I had ever met and sure enough we found about $15K in bank envelopes. Thank goodness because my mother had to borrow money just for the cremation and my mother has been suffering financially since her husband died in 2010.


Relatives from the East Coast have taken a lot of the furniture, I took the Christmas manger and a beautiful Christmas wreath I gave her years ago along with a couple of the knick-knacks and the rest is going to one of those estate places.


I'm going to take this post to plead with all of you to make a will or a living trust. My aunt didn't have one and neither did my 97 year old great uncle who had been living with my mother. When he died everything went to his only son even though they were estranged and my mother had been taking care of him for quite a while. My uncle kept telling my mother he was going to leave her money but he never put it in writing so she got nothing and she really needed some money. His response was "my doctor told me I'm going to live another 10 years". Meanwhile he died two weeks later and the son never offered my mother a dime even though she had been the one to take care of this medically fragile 97 year old. :-(


My father had no will which caused issues in the family and my mother doesn't have one because she figures she has nothing. However she owns a house (well her and the reverse mortgage people). It causes a lot of grief when a person dies without their wishes being known. I would never do that to my family.
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Old 11-27-2016, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Boston
277 posts, read 205,576 times
Reputation: 755
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robino1 View Post
Yes, I did. They were family to Mom in every sense except for blood.
Mom's wishes were for me to sell the house to them very cheaply. I just went a bit cheaper.
I rarely hear of such kindness the likes of which your neighbors exhibited being rewarded so richly. Very, very good of you to have done so.
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Old 11-27-2016, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,488 posts, read 2,073,537 times
Reputation: 9735
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
My Aunt died last month. She had a small house but she had a lot of furniture in it and every piece was crammed full of papers, paid bills, receipts for items she had gotten rid of years ago. She had dozens and dozens of knick-knacks and a lot of clothes with the tags still on them hanging up in the closet. We suspected she had money hidden because she was the cheapest woman I had ever met and sure enough we found about $15K in bank envelopes. Thank goodness because my mother had to borrow money just for the cremation and my mother has been suffering financially since her husband died in 2010.


Relatives from the East Coast have taken a lot of the furniture, I took the Christmas manger and a beautiful Christmas wreath I gave her years ago along with a couple of the knick-knacks and the rest is going to one of those estate places.


I'm going to take this post to plead with all of you to make a will or a living trust. My aunt didn't have one and neither did my 97 year old great uncle who had been living with my mother. When he died everything went to his only son even though they were estranged and my mother had been taking care of him for quite a while. My uncle kept telling my mother he was going to leave her money but he never put it in writing so she got nothing and she really needed some money. His response was "my doctor told me I'm going to live another 10 years". Meanwhile he died two weeks later and the son never offered my mother a dime even though she had been the one to take care of this medically fragile 97 year old. :-(


My father had no will which caused issues in the family and my mother doesn't have one because she figures she has nothing. However she owns a house (well her and the reverse mortgage people). It causes a lot of grief when a person dies without their wishes being known. I would never do that to my family.
Absolutely get a living will or will. Even if you don't think you have much to leave, it helps settle your estate so much easier. People can make arrangements for our burial, medical needs if needed.

Even if it just says that "everything I own goes to _______." Cars and houses may have to be spelled out. Not sure on that. If I remember, I was just listed as sole heir and everything goes to me.

My mom and dad had theirs and when dad passed, she had hers updated. It made the whole process so much easier. When dealing with all the stuff that goes along with what to do with what, knowing who is responsible to take care of these things is HUGE.

I used my mom's lawyer that drew up the will to get it through probate and it really was easier than I thought it would be. Yes, thinking about our own death feels icky. Once you do get the will done, you don't have to think about it again unless your spouse passes before you.

Another thing: Keep copies of past wills. I needed my Dad's will to show the chain that what he had passed to her, and what she had passed to me. There were times I needed both my Dad's and Mom's will. Also, keep an original copy of all death certificates that you find among the papers.

Last edited by Robino1; 11-27-2016 at 02:56 PM..
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Old 11-27-2016, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,034 posts, read 17,348,573 times
Reputation: 41354
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
My Aunt died last month. She had a small house but she had a lot of furniture in it and every piece was crammed full of papers, paid bills, receipts for items she had gotten rid of years ago. She had dozens and dozens of knick-knacks and a lot of clothes with the tags still on them hanging up in the closet. We suspected she had money hidden because she was the cheapest woman I had ever met and sure enough we found about $15K in bank envelopes. Thank goodness because my mother had to borrow money just for the cremation and my mother has been suffering financially since her husband died in 2010.


Relatives from the East Coast have taken a lot of the furniture, I took the Christmas manger and a beautiful Christmas wreath I gave her years ago along with a couple of the knick-knacks and the rest is going to one of those estate places.


I'm going to take this post to plead with all of you to make a will or a living trust. My aunt didn't have one and neither did my 97 year old great uncle who had been living with my mother. When he died everything went to his only son even though they were estranged and my mother had been taking care of him for quite a while.

My uncle kept telling my mother he was going to leave her money but he never put it in writing so she got nothing and she really needed some money.

His response was "my doctor told me I'm going to live another 10 years". Meanwhile he died two weeks later and the son never offered my mother a dime even though she had been the one to take care of this medically fragile 97 year old. :-(


My father had no will which caused issues in the family and my mother doesn't have one because she figures she has nothing. However she owns a house (well her and the reverse mortgage people). It causes a lot of grief when a person dies without their wishes being known. I would never do that to my family.
That is a real shame that your great-uncle did not make a will. I am still wondering how a medically fragile 97 year old could believe any doctor who said that he was going to live for 10 more years. It is pretty unusual to live to be 107 years old.

I have heard of similar situations where long time caregivers were promised compensation and since there was not a will the money went to a shirt-tail relation or an estranged family member leaving the caregiver absolutely nothing.
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,973,893 times
Reputation: 15649
This thread makes me want to step up my efforts to deal with my papers and personal possessions NOW. I may even start gifting most of these possessions now. Cleaning out....BTDT with mother, MIL. Extremely stressful from being under pressure timewise, and disposing of items of no interest to anyone.
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Old 11-27-2016, 04:33 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,448,244 times
Reputation: 13709
you're only 67 or 68, Riverbird. you're young! organization is always good though.
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