Cleaning out/emptying a place after death (friends, years, grandmother)
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Don't assume that the deceased has nothing of value. I have seen $25k assets thrown out or given away because the person had NO IDEA as what they had.
Yes, like someone might have a valuable stamp collection, and someone who doesn't know anything about it might think it's worthless. Many times people who are into collecting stamps don't admit to their own spouse how much money they really spent on the collection.
Stamps, coins, etc., get a professional appraisal of things.
When my husband died, I had to clean out the house before I sold it at auction (I moved to a much smaller and older "investment" house that I had actually never rented out - couldn't bear to). Anyway, my late H was basically a hoarder and had tons of crap. I swear he had over 200 screwdrivers - he could never pass through Sears without picking up another one, lol. Naturally he would forget where he put the last one he used, which necessitated buying the next one! I hauled tons of papers and junk to the dump, gave clothes to Goodwill (but I still have his Israeli Army jacket 8 years later), and sold all the rest at auction along with the house. Of course, I had to go through everything with a fine tooth comb to make sure I wasn't getting rid of anything of real value. It was, frankly, both physically and emotionally exhausting.
I don't know, the adult step children of my father's second wife stole everything and his rightful heirs were powerless to stop it because there was no will.
Just an fyi - if someone dies without a will (intestate) then the state decides the apportionment of the assets. Usually in such cases children (his children - including any he adopted) and spouse (current spouse, not ex spouse) would both get some portion. The couple of states I've looked at, the current spouse usually gets a larger share of the assets than the children do.
May not help in your situation, as clearly the event you're speaking of already occurred. But might help someone else in the future reading this.
Edited: In reading further, I see post #38 already covers some of this.
Last edited by Briolat21; 11-28-2016 at 09:40 AM..
Reason: duplication noticed
We had someone in the family who is very smart, very observant, quick but knows when to slow down and zero in...organize things. Even then it took several stages. He went through everything, making bins of trash, important legal/financial papers; letters and cards from each family member over the decades (put in a bin and returned to the family member for a memento); items the deceased family member had already boxed and labeled with stories about the item, when it was worn/used, etc. (The two were alike).
This relative also knew or had a sense of what would be valuable and should be checked out. Those items went in another spot.
Things that were significant in the family life and therefore worthy of saving at least at first were also separated in bins....magazines and books and photos on particular topics, for instance.
This is the person who found the will....tada. And items were distributed accordingly.
There were collections made of so many items not listed...pottery, china...blue and white in one bin, floral in another; numerous vases; tea sets; expensive candles.
From there, the significant family members checked out the bins for any items they wanted. We all got to look at the furniture and clothing, etc. as well. Items were given to dear friends and neighbors. Thankfully, no arguments.
The trash company was notified of the death and that there would be the extra trash pickups needed.
Then there was the furniture and clothing that remained. Donations to any more family first.
Then there were a few sales.
Then there was another finetuning, another look-see.
Then some clothes off to the pastor's wife for herself and people she knew who needed them.
And remaining clothes and furnishings went to a couple of charities.
That's the inside personal possessions. The house and landscaping came next.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
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I got a chuckle from a few when I told someone, that had the same size approximately as my mom, that she could take the clothes that I had bagged up and go through them. The only stipulation, she couldn't return any that she didn't want. It was up to her to dispose of the ones that she couldn't use.
Mom was a tiny woman. I am/was an amazon next to her. She was short and small, I'm tall and small sized. I did find some tops that I could wear. She tried one time to give me a pair of pants. I told her that I couldn't wear them but she insisted on me trying them on. They fit in the waist but um....They were like capris on me but didn't look like they were capris.
Still need to read more here but will say that in the last three years my DH, his brother and I have cleaned out three places, their uncles house which had been lived in since 1950's plus their fathers home in Florida and main home in the northeast. I jokingly referred to us as the cleaning crew.
We used an estate sale group who were wonderful. Along with that it helped that BIL lived there for a year and a half and could clean out a lot along the way. After dumpsters at two places, and estate sales we also used Craigslist. It was a lot of work. We've already done one downsizing ourselves which I'm greatful is done. Also along with this my side of the family finally held a huge two estate auction of farm personal property and significant antiques this past summer. That was a blessing as the auction house did the work. This is not for the faint of heart.
Yes, like someone might have a valuable stamp collection, and someone who doesn't know anything about it might think it's worthless. Many times people who are into collecting stamps don't admit to their own spouse how much money they really spent on the collection.
Stamps, coins, etc., get a professional appraisal of things.
I don't think there is such a thing as a valuable stamp collection anymore. Coins are a different subject but believe me, there is no market for first day covers. We have so much of that and have looked at it's value and best value may be using it for postage now days.
Make sure you go through all the papers and small personal belongings. It's a painful task but it's part of life. You find all sorts of things, sometimes valuable. One thing I never expected to find was an old letter that my grandmother had written to my mother.
The letter from my (maternal) grandmother apologized for not being there to help out after the new baby was born. By the date on that letter, it was obvious that the new baby was ME. The letter also asked "and how is little Hallie May?" Since my name is not Hallie May, that made me stop and think.
Finally it made sense, something my mother had hidden from me. A rift between my mother and her mother right about the time I was born and the reason I was quickly given some other name for some obscure reason that my mother never seemed comfortable explaining.
From reading that letter, I can see how my grandmother must have agonized because instead of helping my mother, she went to help another daughter who had just been widowed. My mother must have felt so hurt that she reneged on the name they had decided to give me. There's a lot more to that story than my name (that letter had repercussions!) I don't know why my mother saved that painful letter but I'm glad she did. Mysteries I'd always wondered about finally made sense. I don't have to go through life wondering.
(You might also find a stock certificate or a War bond but a letter or a photo can be very meaningful.
So true. While cleaning out a bureau I discovered a letter written in the 1920's to this relative telling her that her husband was leaving her. We knew he had disappeared and many years later, around 2000, we were able to piece together "the rest of the story". Finding that letter made him really look like a cad! Again, why it had been saved is unknown, but it did fill in some pieces and was an interesting piece of family lore.
I agree. Instead of either downsizing or buying more stuff, though, I am gradually replacing everything with newer, better-quality stuff. That way, people will be glad to get it one day. Meanwhile, I can revel in my nice(r) things. I denied myself too much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland
I just don't know why any retired person would buy MORE stuff
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