U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 12-08-2016, 11:46 AM
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,761,444 times
Reputation: 20540


Originally Posted by bigbear99 View Post
The problem is more of outliving all your friends. Mom passed away last winter at 95. Thankfully she had dementia the last few years, so she did not have the loneliness she did earlier.
^^This. I watched this with my husband's grandfather. Once her hit an age where his friends were dropping like flies, he changed a lot. He seemed to really give up when he lost the last two whom he was friends with for decades. He went into assisted living and then a nursing home. He no longer wanted to make new friends because they all kept dying. It was too hard to constantly deal with. He was ready to move on when he lost the last 2 friends. He lost them close together. Sadly for him, he lasted for almost 10 years without them and was pretty depressed the entire time. He had given up and still kept on ticking.....he really didn't seem like he wanted to be here. It was VERY sad to see.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 12-08-2016, 11:54 AM
Location: Kronenwetter Wisconsin
287 posts, read 139,614 times
Reputation: 590
My last uncle will be 100 in February. He is a family treasure. He has never spent a day in the hospital. He still lives on the family farm. Bakes bread once a week. Makes perogis, sauerkraut. Drives the back roads to get to the store or church. His memory is intact. Reads 2 newspapers a day. The only issue is his hearing is going. One daughter lives on the farm next door and his other kids are within 30 minutes. He always told us he hoped to outlive his Dad who died at 94. He still has the best stories.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-08-2016, 11:55 AM
2,630 posts, read 1,934,527 times
Reputation: 4597
I am now at 65 the last living person in my nuclear family. No spouse, no kids, and cousins I ignore. I'm no worse for the wear except that now, there is no one with which to share old memories.

My advice: Even if getting married is not your thing, make babies, early on, even if you have to put a clothespin on your nose - just do it. A lot of people seem to have done just that (read the obits; you'd be amazed).

I've been living in a delusion all these years. And I'll pay big time for it.

Last edited by TwinbrookNine; 12-08-2016 at 12:54 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-08-2016, 02:17 PM
Location: Tennessee
23,580 posts, read 17,553,447 times
Reputation: 27640
My barber just turned 90 and he is the last of his three siblings, he was the middle of them. For 90, he's still in good shape - able to drive, to work, does not use a walker or cane. His wife fell last week and broke her arm - she's 89.

I think what helps him is continuing to work and staying social. Barbers chat with and get to know their customers. Though I've rarely seen a customer in there who appears under 60 or so, they're probably all at least somewhat younger than him. He's also close with extended family and goes to Arizona to see them, and one of his grandsons (whom I went to high school with) that runs a small cattle operation here.

Grandmother is among two of twelve siblings left, and the only one. That side of the family was always close. She rarely mentions and I don't bring it up, but you can tell there is some shock and reflection about being the last in line. She's only 80.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-08-2016, 03:57 PM
Location: Central NY
4,662 posts, read 3,241,188 times
Reputation: 11932
Presently 74, have been the last one of the family for over a year when oldest sister died. I had 2 sisters, both older, both dead. Parents gone. All aunts and uncles. All but one cousin dead (I think) and he does not speak to me cuz I'm a loopy liberal (his words).

My 2 kids are alive but no relationship with them.

My sisters kids are mostly living their lives out of state except for one. No real contact unfortunately. So I definitely feel like the lone ranger.

But friends are worth their weight in gold. I've been pretty lucky in that department.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top