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Old 12-18-2016, 12:41 PM
 
3,096 posts, read 1,719,273 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverBird View Post
I'd rather talk with my adult kids, actually. Finding out what they think about things now that they're grown, sharing ideas and experiences. It's all fresh and new, not same-old. Spouse and I do things together more than we talk. What did it for me was reading something that I thought was important and exciting aloud to him in bed one night, thinking he was listening, then the sudden snort and I knew I was talking out loud to myself. He came to and said he'd been listening, he'd heard the whole thing. I asked him to repeat the last thing he heard and he just blubbered some and I said forget it, roll over and go back to sleep.
LOL!!!
It is for the same reason we avoid talking politics and I prefer to talk online or with my kids. and we are both on the same side! But he LOVES Hillary and I wanted Sanders to win and have no sympathy for the DNC right now and don't care about hacked emails that simply revealed who these people really are. But we both fear Trump and maybe that is why we don't talk about it. Ha ha.
Sorry for the politics, please ignore.
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Old 12-18-2016, 12:43 PM
 
3,943 posts, read 3,261,008 times
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Retired eight years, my wife, the last five. We've been married five years and both of us are in our seventies. Morning coffee time is our time to talk about things that need doing, afternoons are usually busy times doing things together, but seldom apart. We're both talkers so that makes for easy conversation as opposed to those who seldom have much to say. We were both married in the past and both our spouses died from cancer, so we know that time together can't be taken for granted, and for that reason we try to spend as much time together as possible. Passing time isn't everyone's strong point, retirement is a time to sit back and enjoy doing those things that we never had time for--and our spouses are sometimes included in that.

Similar tastes in music, art, travel, and dining, really help, we usually comment on the sad scenario of an older couple who seem pretty distanced from one another, looking at their iphones or simply just ignoring each other. Sometimes you have to lose what you cherish to really understand the need to consciously BUILD on your relationship. When my former wife died, life got pretty quiet all of a sudden. We were married for 38 years and sometimes it seemed as though we were beginning to drift apart. Second chances in life can open doors to new perceptions of oneself, and others as well. Of course being retired makes a ton of difference in the amount of time one can allow for personal relationships. Hooray for retirement..And second chances.
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Old 12-18-2016, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,886 posts, read 25,316,043 times
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Sometimes I think we don't talk enough. I have discussed this with my SO and he thinks life is great. He describes it as peaceful. Comforting, kind. All sorts of good words. Anyway he says there is great value in a peaceful life lacking in drama, anger, and dissension. He is probably right. I need to appreciate it more.
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:05 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,428 posts, read 1,666,491 times
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Many years ago when we were quite young and before DH was DH, we were having one of those long conversation about life, the cosmos and infinity. I clearly heard him express a thought, except he didn't say it out loud. This has happened two other times since over the years. I don't finish his sentences though and I'm still surprised at things he is interested in and his views on life. I know him so well only to find out I don't.
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:19 PM
 
1,316 posts, read 1,735,077 times
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We are finally simultaneously retired after 41 years together. And we just moved to a new locale which includes a completely different climate, ie winter with snow. So there is lots to talk about and plan for in this new place. We have always talked a lot about all kinds of things though we have different interests. I guess you call it being best friends. This topic makes me think about a good friend and her husband both in their late 60s. They just got settled in their new home and were enjoying their lives when in the blink of an eye, she had a ruptured brain aneurysm leaving her incapacitated. She will likely never be able to converse again in the way that they loved and so it is a good reminder to me to cherish those conversations with the one you love.
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Grove City, Ohio
10,131 posts, read 12,381,010 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
It's nice to have some space when you're together 24/7. It's also nice to laugh with someone every day, have a snuggle in a warm bed, hold hands on walks, and other various activities I can't mention here. Is there enough conversation? Sure. Other times too much Sometimes I just need to be with the girls.

If you're lonely go talk to him. If you need space, find something else to occupy your time. It doesn't have to be so hard.

We're getting our snow gear on and taking a walk to the store. We're at our high of 7 degrees with a low of -12 coming later. I see pop corn, a movie on our home theater, and some hot coco later. Sweet.

I guess we're one of the lucky ones who are still madly in love with each other after 31 years together. I can't imagine my life without him.
I've been with my sweetheart over 40 years and when I am not working we are always together with the exception of a few occasions when we aren't.

She belongs to the ladies auxiliary at church so I obviously do not go to the meeting with her. If it's raining or nighttime I will take her, go see a friend for coffee and pick her up when it is over.

She has a few other things like that and I have mine too.

At work if I am traveling she always goes along for the company. In our "home office" she has 80% of the room for her hobbies, she is BIG into Hobby Lobby, and I have a little corner where I can do my thing.

We go to doctor visits together.... if something is going on we both know it.

Just a few minutes ago she made up some stuffed pepperoni bread sticks and brought me a couple.

We always go work out together at Anytime Fitness. If one goes we both go. If one of us doesn't feel up to it that's fine; we'll sit in a chair and watch our partner.

I am really lucky she said yes when I asked her to marry me.
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:24 PM
 
11,263 posts, read 8,424,427 times
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Sounds like paradise. No need for lots of words on a day-to-day basis. But if I'm sharing my life with a foodie, he is also a wordie. If it crosses his mind it comes out of his mouth. He runs over anything I want to say with his constant chatter. I give up.
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:25 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 658,352 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
We do get out. We go with birding group, me for the birds he for the photos which is fine. we go out with neighbors and friends who are also retired to movies, dinners, out. yes, I think we are OK!
I agree
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:26 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 658,352 times
Reputation: 1021
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
If anything, our conversations are much better in retirement than when both or one of us were working. We had to make great efforts to not talking about our work days.

Yes, getting out, doing things and seeing people do give things to talk about BUT they are NOT the only means to stimulate conversations. You can talk about the news, articles, books which you read, movies which you see. There are so many things online with most being free. We have watched quite a few of great movies on youtube or other free channels on Roku. You can also talk about the good old days, discuss plans for the future or just about anything. We have many amusing discussions about the habits and personalities of our dogs comparing their behaviors to wolves. Then there are discussions about foods, wines, drinks, religions, politics, cultures, society or whatever come to our minds.
Yes, great points. Thanks
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Old 12-18-2016, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Frederick, Maryland
899 posts, read 477,662 times
Reputation: 2831
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
I've been with my sweetheart over 40 years and when I am not working we are always together with the exception of a few occasions when we aren't.

She belongs to the ladies auxiliary at church so I obviously do not go to the meeting with her. If it's raining or nighttime I will take her, go see a friend for coffee and pick her up when it is over.

She has a few other things like that and I have mine too.

At work if I am traveling she always goes along for the company. In our "home office" she has 80% of the room for her hobbies, she is BIG into Hobby Lobby, and I have a little corner where I can do my thing.

We go to doctor visits together.... if something is going on we both know it.

Just a few minutes ago she made up some stuffed pepperoni bread sticks and brought me a couple.

We always go work out together at Anytime Fitness. If one goes we both go. If one of us doesn't feel up to it that's fine; we'll sit in a chair and watch our partner.

I am really lucky she said yes when I asked her to marry me.
Sounds like she won the lottery too.
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