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Old 12-18-2016, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,973,893 times
Reputation: 15649

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
I've been with my sweetheart over 40 years and when I am not working we are always together with the exception of a few occasions when we aren't.

She belongs to the ladies auxiliary at church so I obviously do not go to the meeting with her. If it's raining or nighttime I will take her, go see a friend for coffee and pick her up when it is over.

She has a few other things like that and I have mine too.

At work if I am traveling she always goes along for the company. In our "home office" she has 80% of the room for her hobbies, she is BIG into Hobby Lobby, and I have a little corner where I can do my thing.

We go to doctor visits together.... if something is going on we both know it.

Just a few minutes ago she made up some stuffed pepperoni bread sticks and brought me a couple.

We always go work out together at Anytime Fitness. If one goes we both go. If one of us doesn't feel up to it that's fine; we'll sit in a chair and watch our partner.

I am really lucky she said yes when I asked her to marry me.
Aw, you're a sweet couple, unlike us. You are a devoted spouse. Do you wear matching Nicet4 sweatshirts?
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Old 12-18-2016, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,668 posts, read 3,243,341 times
Reputation: 11941
I seem to have failed at relationships. Married once for 21+ years, a couple of relationships after divorce, still single at almost 75.

I don't know what it takes to have a good marriage. Wish there was a class or two that I could learn the basics. I've chosen lousy partners and am truthfully too untrusting of myself to find a good one.
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Old 12-18-2016, 06:23 PM
 
3,104 posts, read 1,720,738 times
Reputation: 3497
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
I seem to have failed at relationships. Married once for 21+ years, a couple of relationships after divorce, still single at almost 75.

I don't know what it takes to have a good marriage. Wish there was a class or two that I could learn the basics. I've chosen lousy partners and am truthfully too untrusting of myself to find a good one.
You post is amusing. I think ALL relationships are hard, but that may just be me. For me it has been a life-long learning and a continually improving process be it with siblings, children or spouse. I don't even bother with friends and consequently I have few close ones. Lucky for me people seem to like me, I make friends easily enough and those are like sparkling gifts. Ultimately it is nicer to be happy than sad so I work on those that I value.
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Old 12-18-2016, 06:28 PM
 
3,104 posts, read 1,720,738 times
Reputation: 3497
Quote:
Originally Posted by orngkat View Post
We are finally simultaneously retired after 41 years together. And we just moved to a new locale which includes a completely different climate, ie winter with snow. So there is lots to talk about and plan for in this new place. We have always talked a lot about all kinds of things though we have different interests. I guess you call it being best friends. This topic makes me think about a good friend and her husband both in their late 60s. They just got settled in their new home and were enjoying their lives when in the blink of an eye, she had a ruptured brain aneurysm leaving her incapacitated. She will likely never be able to converse again in the way that they loved and so it is a good reminder to me to cherish those conversations with the one you love.
Lovely post, thank you.
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Old 12-18-2016, 06:31 PM
 
3,104 posts, read 1,720,738 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
Sounds like paradise. No need for lots of words on a day-to-day basis. But if I'm sharing my life with a foodie, he is also a wordie. If it crosses his mind it comes out of his mouth. He runs over anything I want to say with his constant chatter. I give up.
LOL. I get you. It is sort of like that with us as well. So it no longer feel like a conversation and sometimes silence is better. For a short while.
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Old 12-18-2016, 06:38 PM
 
3,104 posts, read 1,720,738 times
Reputation: 3497
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
I've been with my sweetheart over 40 years and when I am not working we are always together with the exception of a few occasions when we aren't.

She belongs to the ladies auxiliary at church so I obviously do not go to the meeting with her. If it's raining or nighttime I will take her, go see a friend for coffee and pick her up when it is over.

She has a few other things like that and I have mine too.

At work if I am traveling she always goes along for the company. In our "home office" she has 80% of the room for her hobbies, she is BIG into Hobby Lobby, and I have a little corner where I can do my thing.

We go to doctor visits together.... if something is going on we both know it.

Just a few minutes ago she made up some stuffed pepperoni bread sticks and brought me a couple.

We always go work out together at Anytime Fitness. If one goes we both go. If one of us doesn't feel up to it that's fine; we'll sit in a chair and watch our partner.

I am really lucky she said yes when I asked her to marry me.
Indeed you are a lucky couple. I am afraid that is a bit too much togetherness for me, for both of us. We both need some space, we have 2 cars. He hates shopping, I hate waiting at doctor's offices. I like to work out first thing in the morning or I never get to to do it, and he goes in the evening. So it goes.
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Old 12-18-2016, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,699 posts, read 8,483,912 times
Reputation: 29399
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Heck, my husband (married almost 40 years & best friends for 48 years) has dementia and a Traumatic Brain Injury and sometimes does not recognize me and it still appears like we have more meaningful conversations than most of the people who posted. Sometimes we just talk about day to day stuff, food, weather, errands, etc. Or we talk about our family and grandkids. Other times we discuss articles that we read in the newspaper or magazines. And, we often reminisce about activities that we did in the past, it does not matter if hubby is not quite sure if it happen yesterday or ten or thirty years ago.

But, if the amount of conversation that you have with your spouse is enough for the two of you then it is OK.
I have a traumatic brain injury as well. Apparently escalators and skulls don't mix well My wife and I are pretty young yet, (I'm 39, she's 52,) still newlyweds, and she is amazingly understanding of my condition. My concentration skills are sorely lacking at times, I have seizures, and I have a horrid memory. She has to repeat things over and over to me. I often don't remember what she told me yesterday. It's not easy for her. The worst thing is, and spouses of head injured patients understand this, I look completely normal, which makes it even more frustrating for the spouse/caretaker. Sometimes she and I think, "Why can't I remember? Why can't I get this? It's not hard." She's a saint and the most wonderful woman. I'm glad she's taken on this challenge that I brought to the table.
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Old 12-18-2016, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,668 posts, read 3,243,341 times
Reputation: 11941
cb2008: I never intended for my post to be amusing.
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Old 12-18-2016, 07:35 PM
 
Location: California
302 posts, read 635,644 times
Reputation: 551
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
Sounds like paradise. No need for lots of words on a day-to-day basis. But if I'm sharing my life with a foodie, he is also a wordie. If it crosses his mind it comes out of his mouth. He runs over anything I want to say with his constant chatter. I give up.
I've got one of those too . Conversation gets hijacked before I can fully express and analyse my thoughts on the matter. Guess that's why we have girlfriends.
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Old 12-18-2016, 07:36 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 2,825,425 times
Reputation: 10156
Sounds pretty normal to me. Sometimes one talks more than the other, sometimes it is annoying to the talkee but sometimes not, and sometimes the roles switch. My husband and I vary in the amount we talk to each other, and usually it is no big deal.

The one time when I get ticked is when I am just sitting quietly in the car while going somewhere and he asks, "What are you thinking about?" just because I have been quiet. After many such instances in which I said "Nothing", he has learned that either I am just free-associating and have no actual topic of conversation, or I am indeed thinking about something but know it will not interest him. I think he finally realized I was not silently mad, that I simply like to space out and watch what is outside the window go by.

As I told him one time, I do not feel a need to fill the air with words just for the sake of talking.

We've been together for 20 years.
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