U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-20-2016, 10:15 AM
 
6,325 posts, read 5,067,075 times
Reputation: 12850

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drift Away View Post
Being alone alot is not a good thing unless it's by choice, so I would suggest looking into possible "Meet-ups" in your area. We're not in a big metropolitan area, but there are numerous groups; hiking groups, dinner groups, social awareness type groups. Find something of interest that could be an opportunity for you to get out of the house and meet new people. One thing is certain, new friends are not going to come knock on your door, so you gotta make yourself get out there. I have a family member who subscribes to "kitty therapy". When she starts feeling lonely and sad, she volunteers at her local animal shelter. Even if its just sitting and petting the cats, it has a positive effect on her mood.
yes, that could be the main problem. Go out and meet new people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-20-2016, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,253 posts, read 8,552,827 times
Reputation: 35688
Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
one of the problems folks face who leave good paying jobs to retire early and work lower end jobs is this .

they usually think their high paying jobs are to stressful so they end up taking a low paying trouble free job so they think , only to find out now they are under some grunt supervisor who has them under a microscope .

they were basically off the radar at the old job ,had great benefits and pay and ended up trading that for another stressful job being low person on the totem pole .

their every move is watched and measured as to performance now as well as get the crappiest hours and days to work .

they merely end up trading one stress for another only now they are not compensated for it .

my buddy is going through this now . he left a good job and took his pension early .\

the pension is reduced so he stlil needs to subsidize it . he bounces from one low end crappy job to another as the stresses of being under the microscope are worse than what he had prior .
Oh so true. In my workgroup (I'm a lowly analyst) we had an ex-DIRECTOR who'd had a major heart attack and decided to get "worklife balance" and become an analyst. OMG...if only my boss hadn't been afraid to treat him like an analyst. Instead he gets the plum high profile projects, but one at a time so he has plenty of attention for each. BUT, that is the exception.

We lowlifes are getting "metriced" to death - everything is measured and not only discussed weekly but our individual scores are discussed in front of the team...it is horrible...and will only get worse as management is tasked with doing everything cheaper and faster...unfortunately quality doesn't seem as important so I guess I should just let that go!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 10:18 AM
 
4,489 posts, read 4,749,659 times
Reputation: 9957
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
quick answer... (I did this last winter) ... get a one way ticket to south island of New Zealand or to Australia (NZ preferred for safe and very nice people and terrain), buy a $4000 campervan (cheaper than renting... very easy to resell to any of a zillion German youth). Stay till it starts turning cold, or you feel like coming home. (might need to leave a couple times for short trips to renew your tourist status).

Lots to see, very great people and adventures. Camping is often FREE (or you can stay at $10 / night guest homes, as I did)
imagine 4:30AM sunrises and 10:30pm sunsets over the ocean in January! + FLOWERS, lots of WILD flowers and great Botanical Gardens. Upick berries, good produce, no predators, (very happy and safe sheep!). It is nice for an 'attitude adjustment'. (I needed that!) Beach and Mtn campsites were really NICE.

gives you plenty of time to work out / work on / work over YOU, and realize that you will make it through, and have a good time on the journey!

When / if you return to USA, you will have a fresh perspective.

I had a 'farmsitter' come and enjoy my house / feed my pets and plants while I was gone about a yr.
Maybe you can heal faster than I, but I will be ready again in a few yrs!

Just think!!! next yr you will qualify for your National Parks Pass! and can take another yr off! (look on Travel thread for FREE 2017 Canada NP passes!) Consider a campervan / Roadtrek or similar, very nice way to travel. You can stay in it, or with superb hosts who have very nice guest qtrs. My mom did yrs of solo trips in hers.

For work... don't let it get you down, there will be the right place for you, when you are ready. You will excel when your time comes, and blossom into yet another gorgeous bloom for others (and yourself) to enjoy. Dealing with 'longterm' coworkers need not be an issue. You have 'served-your-time' and your sentence was 'commuted'! You are FREE!




Did you read what the OP wrote? Are you really for real? I have often wondered.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,130 posts, read 9,093,524 times
Reputation: 11545
Above ^ Agree !!!

Sarah: You are bright, young (ish) and independent. You need to START SOMETHING. A business. A not for profit, a volunteer organization, a place for teens, child welfare group, self help support group, foster parents help group, etc etc etc. Stop hiding your light under the bushel. There are grants available. There are many opportunities. I say, find a need and fill it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 11:36 AM
 
6,305 posts, read 4,752,208 times
Reputation: 12914
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Above ^ Agree !!!

Sarah: You are bright, young (ish) and independent. You need to START SOMETHING. A business. A not for profit, a volunteer organization, a place for teens, child welfare group, self help support group, foster parents help group, etc etc etc. Stop hiding your light under the bushel. There are grants available. There are many opportunities. I say, find a need and fill it.
^^^^
And I also wonder if you bothered to read what the OP wrote. Did you notice the word in the title, DEPRESSION? Depression means not being able to handle starting a business, or volunteering. It is not hiding under a bushel. It means the individual might need some serious help, something beyond "self help".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,419 posts, read 7,937,494 times
Reputation: 53551
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
I know many that live in the area of the polar vortex including 2 siblings. They are not sitting home.

Retirement is a major life change for the good! You have to get out and do things. Are you in such a rut that work is important to you ? Most retirees that I know wonder how they ever found time to have a job and are certainly not depressed.

I think it is time for you to meet new people or move to a new location or both.
We've been out side a lot during this polar plunge and are planning a walk in the Arboretum tonight to see their light show after a movie.

In all fairness to the OP it's much easier not to be lonely if you have a SO. It's harder to do things alone and if all of your friends are working then that's what you are. Alone. I would personally not want to travel alone and going places alone is fine, but you're still lonely. I understand that concept. It's also harder to get motivated to go out and do things. But, that's exactly what you need to do. Get out of the house and find some way to socialize.

I hear ya about not having time to work thinkalot. I'm having way too much fun to think about going back to work. It really is a four letter word

I think a lot of people get depressed during the holidays as well. It's not my favorite time of year either and I'm not depressed.

Hugs to the OP. It's difficult finding your way sometimes, but you will. Come roller skating with us. It's so much fun
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 12:32 PM
 
Location: next up where ever I go
588 posts, read 345,190 times
Reputation: 2087
Thank you everyone!

I will begin with Mathjak.

You are completely right. I am not challenged in my retirement jobs, physically I work much harder at a time when that is not healthy. Exercising, of course, is a whole different deal, which I need to begin again.

Travelling the world is an option even on the cheap...however...I got three animals in the divorce. I say I got the kids....sole custody and they would not do well if I left on an extended find myself travel excursion. Sure sounds really nice though.

As to working with people that have less education and/or need to excel. Yup, you got that one too! My resume was shown around and the hostess got a whiff of it and I think that is where this all started. Yes, I have also been in jobs with a great deal of responsibility, need to use my brain, type jobs. And you are correct. Just because it is a low paying job does not mean it is going to be easier. The sad truth is that my field (legal) would not take me back at my age. Period.

Am I clinically depressed? I had a whole work up with my physician not long ago and I came out pretty darn healthy.

Yes, I am alone too much and Christmas can be a sad time, and realizing that whatever I have accomplished in this life is finite. Yes, I agree I NEED a challenge! Baby steps, baby steps.

As far as money...I have $400,000 and live off the dividends and interest. So it is a modest retirement (the fact that I have even that much does make some people just not like me and I can very well understand why, it must be frightening as hell to know one has nothing at retirement). No, I don't tell people what I have but the fact that I so not have a second job speaks volumes

Having a retirement job gives me the extras to enjoy. Good to say, I grew up poor and am proud I made it this far financially. I also learned to make due with what I have. I want for nothing except the stimulus of using my brain! As far as looking younger it has done me well to even be considered for positions now that I have hit my sixties. It helps...believe me....it helps in this youth culture of ours.

But does anyone have the experience with the backlash of not being in the workforce anymore.

I do not feel invisible like some that I have read about. Just trying to understand. As far as taking early retirement. Well, it really wasn't my choice so there is the rub.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 12:38 PM
 
Location: SoCal
6,075 posts, read 9,540,537 times
Reputation: 5827
All of you who are freaking out over the OP's depression leaving her unable to do anything ... did any of *you* read the OP? She said, "I am not so depressed to need or want medication. It is more a kind of "what the blazes do I do now!" frustration and ennui.".

That does not sound to me like disabling depression.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
4,664 posts, read 3,712,067 times
Reputation: 8684
I'll be semi-retiring in early April next year. I say semi because I'm working on getting a small counseling private practice going right now (I left technical fields to get a degree in clinical counseling, did that for six years, then went back into IT - so now I'll be going back into counseling part time to supplement my social security and a small pension - plus maybe a little website design work).

I saw my grandparents and my mother retire and sit in boredom until they died. So I've been making a list of things I want to do in addition to working part time: hobbies, volunteer work, writing, taking and teaching classes. Staying busy is how I plan to stave off the "winter blues".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-20-2016, 01:57 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,638 posts, read 40,010,157 times
Reputation: 23801
Quote:
Originally Posted by oddstray View Post
All of you who are freaking out over the OP's depression leaving her unable to do anything ... did any of *you* read the OP? She said, "I am not so depressed to need or want medication. It is more a kind of "what the blazes do I do now!" frustration and ennui.".

That does not sound to me like disabling depression.
read and the OP... ^^^^

I've been privileged to deal with family / partners w/ Clinical Depression (yes the REAL STUFF) for over 50 yrs.

There are many ways to deal with episodes of 'cabin fever / winter doldrums', feeling down, being upset about work / relationships / where to head net in your life... AND there are correct ways to deal with Clinical Depression (Which can include the following):

NZ camping during LONG USA winter, was one of the BEST solutions (and I have tried many)

It cost me $80 to get there (award travel), I ate on $10 / day and used $10/ day guesthomes (as I have for decades).

Worked for me I had / have a very different perspective upon return. It was worth the $80+ and few months away from USA. Staying with locals ALWAYS makes you thankful for THEM and that you don't share THEIR problems. (family, employment, financial, health, kids...) We all have PLENTY of problems.

"what the blazes do I do now!" can be handled in MANY ways. "Polar Vortex" Has southern hemisphere written all over it. (from my perspective, I am certainly not afraid to try 'unconventional remedies'. )
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top