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Old 12-20-2016, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,359 posts, read 10,920,160 times
Reputation: 3843

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I'm kind of going through something similar right now.

For the past couple of years I was teaching several young students piano which kept me busy two or three days a week and gave me money for fun things like concerts and other items I wanted. The day before I was to sign the new school contract they told me they had given the room, the only one with a piano, to the everyday music teacher. I was able to get one kid to come to the house instead but not many kids in this area and I haven't been able to find many seniors interested in classical music lessons.

I have a couple of friends here I'm close to but it seems recently they have all gotten boyfriends or gotten married. They still have time for me but it's become limited. Plus they seem to be frequenting places that are an hour away now and traveling a lot more which I can't do. I have no one to explore things with suddenly or go on day trips with. It's kind of depressing as it all changed at once. It doesn't help that my son is overseas for a year so I don't even get to see him.

Last edited by Sgoldie; 12-20-2016 at 10:53 PM..
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Old 12-21-2016, 05:58 AM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,139 posts, read 3,514,750 times
Reputation: 9889
I'd take piano lessons from you, Goldie! I always wanted to do that.
Have you thought of teaching from a church or senior center that has a piano available?
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Old 12-21-2016, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,359 posts, read 10,920,160 times
Reputation: 3843
Thanks FeelinLow. My whole teaching technique is geared towards the smartest kids in that I incorporate a lot of physics, problem solving, composure, presentation, interpretation, thesis breakdown and other things they will need to use in future academic endeavors. I may start going to a senior care center and start giving small concerts though. Need to reinvent myself it seems.
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Old 12-21-2016, 07:04 AM
PDD
 
Location: The Sand Hills of NC
8,774 posts, read 14,888,814 times
Reputation: 11886
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMKSarah View Post
I am 61, divorced, in pretty good health and am lucky enough to look 50. I left corporate America after my divorce at 58, or maybe I should say it left me...no matter, I had the funds for a modest retirement.

I have gone through 5 jobs, all of which were just very low paying, part time gigs. I excelled at them, however, either the physical strain was way too much, not the job they hired me for or the office politics were so hostile I quit. The last was as a hostess in an upscale restaurant that I really enjoyed. Too bad the hostess that had been there the longest, was closest to my age, took an extreme dislike of me and tried so hard to make my life a misery.

Management was happy with my work, but she was not and the stress of dealing with her constant criticism was extremely difficult so I quit. Yes, I had discussed how I could learn to communicate with this hostess with management. They informed me that she had no empathy and that I had to assert myself regarding her behavior toward me. I asserted myself and the environment just got worse so I made the decision to quit much to the shock of management!

Well, it is the Christmas season and we are in the middle of a Polar Vortex which keeps me in the house and I am feeling depressed. I am alone ALOT.

Have any of you gone through a period of retirement adjustment that was not what you expected? I am beginning to think that I am not depressed necessarily because of having to quit that last job so much as I am experiencing the depression that goes along with a major life change. I am not so depressed to need or want medication. It is more a kind of "what the blazes do I do now!" frustration and ennui.

Thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
I retired on disability when I was 60, luckily I was able to find a job that allowed me to work and still collect my disability payments.

After making 100K plus for the last 20 years I got hired as a delivery driver for $10.00 an hr. Talk about a cut in pay. However I found that job with zero stress a most enjoyable experience. When people order items needed right away they really appreciate fast service and that was what I was giving them. I worked alone when making deliveries and that job was so much more rewarding (except for the pay) than owning my own construction business.
No bitching customers about my prices, no complaining employees wanting more money.

Try to find a PT job where you work alone. Delivering flowers is a good PT job nobody ever gets mad at the the flower delivery person.
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Old 12-21-2016, 07:08 AM
 
4,492 posts, read 4,752,310 times
Reputation: 9972
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
What works for one person or some people, sure doesn't work for others! camping all over New Zealand as a woman alone with her camper truck or camping as a woman alone with her camper truck in U.S. National Parks? learning to scuba dive with oxygen/air tanks on one's back where one goes down into the sea and stays underwater for periods of time? going to a gun range? guns?

Those are about as far from anything I would ever do as can be conceived! what about a more simple life?

I would never touch a gun, never go anywhere near a gun range, never touch a scuba diving tank and never ever go underwater where I'm dependent upon an oxygen tank, nor go camping alone in New Zealand or U.S. National Parks!

I know these are examples of suggestions for a retired woman - I guess - but why has life changed so radically from what retired people were suggested to do in the 1930's, 1940's, 1950's? Norms have changed, yes - but expecting most retirees to have big adventures, I don't think is really necessary.

As for alleviating any depression of others encountered in retirement, I wouldn't make these particular suggestions to anyone! I do get your drift though.

(and I do not find one man who found a 2nd wife to be inspiring or uplifting in the least) (and not everyone possesses good abilities to be a competent effective driver of a Recreational Vehicle (RV) and/or camper truck)


Exactly.
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Old 12-21-2016, 07:24 AM
 
34,435 posts, read 41,537,489 times
Reputation: 29899
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMKSarah View Post
I am 61, divorced, in pretty good health and am lucky enough to look 50. I left corporate America after my divorce at 58, or maybe I should say it left me...no matter, I had the funds for a modest retirement.

I have gone through 5 jobs, all of which were just very low paying, part time gigs. I excelled at them, however, either the physical strain was way too much, not the job they hired me for or the office politics were so hostile I quit. The last was as a hostess in an upscale restaurant that I really enjoyed. Too bad the hostess that had been there the longest, was closest to my age, took an extreme dislike of me and tried so hard to make my life a misery.

Management was happy with my work, but she was not and the stress of dealing with her constant criticism was extremely difficult so I quit. Yes, I had discussed how I could learn to communicate with this hostess with management. They informed me that she had no empathy and that I had to assert myself regarding her behavior toward me. I asserted myself and the environment just got worse so I made the decision to quit much to the shock of management!

Well, it is the Christmas season and we are in the middle of a Polar Vortex which keeps me in the house and I am feeling depressed. I am alone ALOT.

Have any of you gone through a period of retirement adjustment that was not what you expected? I am beginning to think that I am not depressed necessarily because of having to quit that last job so much as I am experiencing the depression that goes along with a major life change. I am not so depressed to need or want medication. It is more a kind of "what the blazes do I do now!" frustration and ennui.

Thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
Join your local YMCA,plenty of friendly people,many activities.
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Old 12-21-2016, 07:59 AM
 
6,312 posts, read 4,757,627 times
Reputation: 12960
My advice would be to avoid using the term Depression, unless you mean it.


According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is:
"Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it. Depression may require long-term treatment. But don't get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychological counseling or both."


You might also look at your life to see if the term truly fits: unhappy, unsuccessful with jobs, unable to deal with a minor interpersonal relationship, major life events of divorce and retirement. There are lots of successful treatments for depression.
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Old 12-21-2016, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,131 posts, read 9,098,506 times
Reputation: 11545
Well there is more than just one kind of depression. So you need to explore just what the person means by this term. Situational depression can result with a major change in one's life circumstances (OP) and will get better on its own, with some life changes. Real clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, such as Post Partum Depression, which always requires input from a psychiatrist and medication.

Since this is not a depression forum and we are not physicians, I think we should not be giving the OP our opinions as to what kind of "depression" they may be having.

Jrkliny: Do a little more research and reading and you will come to the same conclusion.
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Old 12-21-2016, 10:58 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,658 posts, read 40,039,994 times
Reputation: 23811
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgoldie View Post
Thanks FeelinLow. .... I may start going to a senior care center and start giving small concerts though. Need to reinvent myself it seems.
my 'dream' retirement winter gig would be to play Piano in a National Park Lodge over the holidays...

Tetons or Yellowstone preferred

But.... I need to resume lessons for a few decades, kinda rusty.

('reinventing yourself)
Ironically, I met some VERY happy early retirees that work various PT gigs at National Parks, rotating parks with the seasons. Of course it can also be a 'slave-labor' task since you are 'hostage' to the concessionaire. These 'happy' folks were both married and single and had very nice assignments and long service, some were NPS employees rather than contract. Some took their RVs, most used provided housing. Of course you would need to be the type to accept being GONE from home / gypsy centric. Could be tolerated for a few seasons, or preferred if you want help 'downsizing'.

We have some great youth theater and orchestra groups that would be very fun and educational to be an accompanist (comes with baggage / late hours), BUT you would be INVESTING in the young and developing lives of future generations. (similar to teaching).
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Old 12-21-2016, 11:05 AM
 
6,312 posts, read 4,757,627 times
Reputation: 12960
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Well there is more than just one kind of depression. So you need to explore just what the person means by this term. Situational depression can result with a major change in one's life circumstances (OP) and will get better on its own, with some life changes. Real clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, such as Post Partum Depression, which always requires input from a psychiatrist and medication.

Since this is not a depression forum and we are not physicians, I think we should not be giving the OP our opinions as to what kind of "depression" they may be having.

Jrkliny: Do a little more research and reading and you will come to the same conclusion.

I have some understanding of situational depression. It is my understanding that the OP went through her divorce and semi-retirement several years and 5 jobs ago. Does that sound like a situational issue that is going to resolve itself? I don't think either of us is in a position to Dx over the internet.
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