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Having friends is not the same thing as being in a clique. Not all groups of friends are cliquish. Having friends is also not something that people "outgrow". Normal people will have some friends, even if a small number, regardless of their age. It is not pathological to have friends and to go places and do things with them. Rather, it is normal.
Most of my social life occurred at work - where, in fact, my socialability was considered one of my fortes. We all had a lot in common (40 hours a week together) and a lot to talk about. Getting work done was sometimes difficult to do, but after 4 or 5 I finally got down to business; we even had a late secretary mostly for my use. My after work social circle was small and my time doled out as I saw fit. 40 hours a week of socializing was pretty much enough. And, yes, some of my after work socializing was cliquish, closed to certain people I (we) had little interest in. Other acquaintances, likewise, had little use for me as well.
Oh man. I tend to think of myself as a tough guy, but this was too much. I'm sorry about your loss, TwinbrookNine.
Having moved from the Midwest to Manhattan, I noticed the stark difference in people's social conduct. In Manhattan, people put in serious amount of effort to not talk, smile, small-talk, have eye-contact etc. with others. And you can see that in an office elevator. We used to have a small TV screen in the elevator with the tag line: "such-and-such TV, it's here so that you don't have to talk to the person next to you".
In here, we are drowning in relationships but starved for a connection.
Growing up in a large Midwest city many years ago, I remember people were very sociable. But when things went suburban (about 50 years ago) the one thing that struck us was the fact that even on your own block there were people you'd never say a peep to for years, if ever. In fact, I'd say, most of them. I think that was a pretty "global" process. In the past 15 years I've noticed even the neighborhood beergarden with regulars has turned into a group of cliques. You could sit next to someone you've seen there 20 times and they wouldn't say a peep. I phones have made it even worse. I do all my beer drinking at home, anymore. "Circled wagons" is the term I've come up with for it.
Growing up in a large Midwest city many years ago, I remember people were very sociable. But when things went suburban (about 50 years ago) the one thing that struck us was the fact that even on your own block there were people you'd never say a peep to for years, if ever. In fact, I'd say, most of them. I think that was a pretty "global" process. In the past 15 years I've noticed even the neighborhood beergarden with regulars has turned into a group of cliques. You could sit next to someone you've seen there 20 times and they wouldn't say a peep. I phones have made it even worse. I do all my beer drinking at home, anymore. "Circled wagons" is the term I've come up with for it.
My parents still live in the same home I grew up in. When we moved in back in the late 1990s, we got to know the older ladies who lived beside us. They passed, new folks moved in, we never knew them, and have not met any of our immediate neighbors.
I saw a lot of older people at Home Depot just there but not looking for anything to buy. Maybe these seniors are isolated and just want to be somewhere with people.
I saw a lot of older people at Home Depot just there but not looking for anything to buy. Maybe these seniors are isolated and just want to be somewhere with people.
Many times the retiree wants to move to a cheaper place. But those cheaper places are usually a small town or far flung suburb where there is little to do other than chain stores. I'm doing my hardest to be able to stack enough money away to be able to continue to live in a bustling metro.
Many times the retiree wants to move to a cheaper place. But those cheaper places are usually a small town or far flung suburb where there is little to do other than chain stores. I'm doing my hardest to be able to stack enough money away to be able to continue to live in a bustling metro.
Not really unless the person wants to move to a smaller town with less hustle and bustle than the city.
I moved from one city that was way more expensive than the one to which I moved. There are more things to do and more to see in my new much less expensive city. Cheaper does not necessarily mean settling for less.
Many times the retiree wants to move to a cheaper place. But those cheaper places are usually a small town or far flung suburb where there is little to do other than chain stores. I'm doing my hardest to be able to stack enough money away to be able to continue to live in a bustling metro.
We are not smaller town. We have 250k people in our city. It's a walkable city.
We are not smaller town. We have 250k people in our city. It's a walkable city.
All my life I have had countless hobbies and interests. I think many of the seniors that end up bored were those who did nothing but work/sleep and never really picked up any hobbies during their working years to transition to retirement. Currently I'm totally busy from sunrise to sunset.
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I'm sorry about your loss, TwinbrookNine.
