U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 12-24-2016, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,095 posts, read 3,456,394 times
Reputation: 10153

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunny DeSurf View Post
I would recommend a co-ownership if you are paying out on the down payment or not at all.
NO NO NO.....if for some reason your son gets in a financial bind (lay-off, disabled, divorced) then as co-owner (and co-mortgagee) you will be on the hook for the whole enchilada.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-24-2016, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,879 posts, read 25,306,858 times
Reputation: 26334
If they can't afford it, they cant afford it. And who pays the bills when they lose their jobs? They need to stand on their own 2 feet, not spend your retirement money. And do you really want to live in NH where winter is half the year? You have 2 kids. Is the other one going to want the same thing?

You already spent a lifetime doing for your kids. This is supposed to be your retirement. Refuse to do anything you don't want to do.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Deep In The Heart of Texas
1,604 posts, read 1,270,176 times
Reputation: 3016
Just move to the town they live and get your own place like you have now.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Columbus, Indiana
957 posts, read 1,940,188 times
Reputation: 1347
While you have to consider the financial situation, what about the climate? You said you were living in the south, and they would be moving to NH. It seems that would be a big change.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,651,778 times
Reputation: 35449
I can understand your health being an issue but do you have any guarantee they will help if you need it? It's a gamble I think. I do know of an elderly woman who moved from a great place in another city to help her kids with the grandkids when they were babies. But after the kids got old enough to take care of themselves grandma was pretty much abandoned. Recently she had to have surgery on her foot. Getting her kids to help her out with grocery shopping or housework was like pulling teeth. She would have been better off getting some help through some sort of medical program. Do you have friends who could help out if needed?

I don't know your kids and whether or not they would do this but you might want to think about it.

I agree with those who are saying you should be very careful when it comes to money. It could not end well for you. If you do move, I believe you should rent from them. Don't take a chance in losing your money.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 02:12 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
Reputation: 13693
very good advice, Minervah!

Also, OP, are you the same person who a short while back wrote about how your son and daughter-in-law were trying to impose their strong Mormon faith onto you by arranging for missionaries to visit you, and that you are not religious? And if so, you also wrote about how you have some reservations about being intertwined in the life of your daughter-in-law because you do do not feel comfortable with her as a person, outside of religious differences?

Even if you are not the same person, Minervah's advice is very sound.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,043 posts, read 3,982,486 times
Reputation: 13557
Quote:
Originally Posted by crusinsusan View Post
I would advise not getting financially entangled, including NOT helping with the down payment. You can pay rent, and they (I think) can show that as a portion of their income for buying power.

I got myself into a fix regarding real estate and the kids, and while I don't want to go into it, I do strongly suggest that you don't mesh your fixed financial situation with theirs (which can change in a heartbeat).


****As far as I'm aware you can't use rental income towards qualifying for a mortgage for 2 years.


You need to sit down with them and ask them exactly what they are thinking in regards to you helping them financially. If they can't afford to qualify without you also being on the mortgage I would say no. If they can qualify without you being on the loan, but just need the extra money to help with bills, then it might work out for the both of you. You need to find out their intentions.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 03:16 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
Reputation: 13693
Quote:
Originally Posted by crusinsusan View Post
I would advise not getting financially entangled, including NOT helping with the down payment. You can pay rent, and they (I think) can show that as a portion of their income for buying power.

I got myself into a fix regarding real estate and the kids, and while I don't want to go into it, I do strongly suggest that you don't mesh your fixed financial situation with theirs (which can change in a heartbeat).
good advice and very important thoughts from crusinsusan, too!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,232 posts, read 3,007,646 times
Reputation: 9584
The problem with co-ownership is if they get into financial difficulties you can get pulled under with them.

How about a place near to them, but separate.

As you age you don't want anyplace with STAIRS.

Are there any senior activities in their area?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-24-2016, 03:23 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
Reputation: 13693
senior activities...... I don't think the majority of older people participate in senior activities, but it's a thought.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top