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Old 12-24-2016, 10:36 PM
 
2,074 posts, read 1,153,210 times
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[quote=germaine2626;46609468]I know a family right now where the son received something valued at perhaps $150,000 to $200,000 and his siblings received nothing. While they are still speaking to each other right now, I suspect that if one of the other siblings loses their job or gets into serious financial trouble the **** will really hit the fan as the parents appear to not realize what a "big deal" this is to their kids.

Can the parents afford to give the other kids the same amount if they need it? Or will their Will reflect that they've already given one sibling that money?
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Old 12-24-2016, 10:36 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,450,730 times
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Harpaint at post #28, I am referring to older people who live in their own homes or their own apartments, which are not in senior communities.

And referring to older people who do not go to Senior Centers, many older people do not go to Senior Centers.

And BrassTacksGal at post #30 - exactly!
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Old 12-24-2016, 10:41 PM
 
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"I won't have any help when I need assisted living, but the government will take care of me." How will the government take care of you? I wasn't aware that our government provided assisted living for seniors.
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Old 12-25-2016, 06:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrassTacksGal View Post
I'm a senior and I have no idea what 'senior activities' might be. We are active in a bunch of different things, my husband does lots of sports, I do politics and cooking, we have a big garden, we love going out to dinner and love seeing friends and our kids. We also travel a fair amount. We go to concerts. But I don't think any of those things qualify as 'senior activities'. Do they?
Sure they do. You are a senior and you do " activities ", so there you go - senior activities!
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Old 12-25-2016, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,784 posts, read 4,838,667 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrassTacksGal View Post
"I won't have any help when I need assisted living, but the government will take care of me." How will the government take care of you? I wasn't aware that our government provided assisted living for seniors.
You're very right. There is no government program to pay for assisted living. Even receiving nursing home care at government expense (Medicare/Medicaid) is limited to those leaving an acute hospital setting. If the government took care of people in assisted living there would be no point to long term care insurance.
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Old 12-25-2016, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,668,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Sure they do. You are a senior and you do " activities ", so there you go - senior activities!
Absolutely! I am surprised in this day and age anyone would say they "Didn't know what senior activities" are.

My play reading and writers groups are senior activities offered to seniors at my senior center. There is one SC I know of that offers cooking classes and piano lessons. There are excercises specifically designed for seniors with physical limitations at many community gyms, the "Y" and even some schools. Most senior activities groups offer dining out with a group and other social events like holiday celebrations.

Of course there are many, many trips for which seniors can sign up. They can often get special discounts for senior citizens.

The point is, if the Op is thinking to move to a new place she should check out what activities outside the home would be available to her. They don't necessarily have to be limited to senior activities, just things of interest that will allow her to keep busy and maybe make new friends so she doesn't have to be dependent upon her kids for everything.

Also, I want to add I like the suggestion she rent if she wants to move her kids or maybe buy her own place. She doesn't have to live with the kids in order to be near them.
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Old 12-25-2016, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,105 posts, read 3,463,006 times
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On treating siblings the same, financially.

While the OP could try to even this out in the will by giving the non-helped child xx,xxx more money, if the OP incurs substantial medical or nursing care bills at the end, that xx,xxx dollars simply won't be there.
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Old 12-25-2016, 10:21 AM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
1,959 posts, read 1,208,648 times
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My mother did that. She sold our house and put down every cent for the downpayment for my sister and BIL to buy a larger home.

She said it was the worst mistake she ever made and the sad part is when mom died, she died alone. My BIl retired early and him and sis had moved out to a warmer climate and rented out their part of the house.


Bottom line.. If you choose to do this, I'd just rent from them. Don't entangle your money with theirs. That way if you want to move you're not stuck there. My mom had no choice but to stay because all her money was tied up in the house and she regretted it. She told me many a time how she would have loved to get out of there.
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Old 12-25-2016, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,047 posts, read 17,361,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I know a family right now where the son received something valued at perhaps $150,000 to $200,000 and his siblings received nothing. While they are still speaking to each other right now, I suspect that if one of the other siblings loses their job or gets into serious financial trouble the **** will really hit the fan as the parents appear to not realize what a "big deal" this is to their kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrassTacksGal View Post

Can the parents afford to give the other kids the same amount if they need it? Or will their Will reflect that they've already given one sibling that money?
While they would have to cash out various investments & retirement savings, I'm pretty sure that the parents could probably come up with equal money for their other children. And, according to what they have shared with me, unless they have to spend a very, very long time in expensive nursing homes they will have plenty of money left after they pass away to "equal things out".

But, the point is that the parents do not "see" the gift (loan/investment/whatever) as a problem. While I'm trying to stay out of it, both of his siblings have mentioned privately to me their concerns & unhappiness. I'm pretty sure that the son is supposed to be "paying them back" but from comments made by the parents he does not seem to be doing that. I really doubt if they have mentioned this in their will (which I know from other discussions was written years before this happened).

Again, I'm trying to stay out of it, but it appears that his siblings view this as a problem & unfair and if some of your children view some as a problem & unfair, it probably will cause more problems in the future.
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Old 12-25-2016, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,047 posts, read 17,361,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elliedeee View Post
My mother did that. She sold our house and put down every cent for the downpayment for my sister and BIL to buy a larger home.

She said it was the worst mistake she ever made and the sad part is when mom died, she died alone. My BIl retired early and him and sis had moved out to a warmer climate and rented out their part of the house.


Bottom line.. If you choose to do this, I'd just rent from them. Don't entangle your money with theirs. That way if you want to move you're not stuck there. My mom had no choice but to stay because all her money was tied up in the house and she regretted it. She told me many a time how she would have loved to get out of there.
What a sad story.
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