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Here I am, 66, and I still haven't made out a Will. What, perhaps, makes it tougher for me is I'm single, no children! And the indecision can drive me kookoo!
I do have 3 nieces, one nephew, but 3 of them are very well off, in no need of it, but my one niece is the poorest, and she could use it. But, due to a wide discrepancies in values/beliefs, I'm not even sure I want to give it to her.
And then there's my 61 YO Mexican roommate who's been with me 15 years, who's been a Guardian Angel to me all these years, and I can hardly call him a roommate anymore, he's family. Now there's a possibility, but he's not a U.S. citizen, only has a Green Card.
And then! There's a whole array of charitable/political groups I'd love to give to as well, but with that direction, I always worry about some of those overpaid leaders, and whether the money will be directed to the most needy or not.
What to do? Anyone else pull their hair out, at times, trying to make these decisions? Or find themselves changing their wills, from time to time?
And then there's my 61 YO Mexican roommate who's been with me 15 years, who's been a Guardian Angel to me all these years, and I can hardly call him a roommate anymore, he's family. Now there's a possibility, but he's not a U.S. citizen, only has a Green Card.
And then! There's a whole array of charitable/political groups I'd love to give to as well, but with that direction, I always worry about some of those overpaid leaders, and whether the money will be directed to the most needy or not.
I would spend a minimal amount of money (or it may even be offered for free) having a one-hour informational consultation with a local estate planning lawyer. I think you might be making assumptions about whether your roommate can or cannot be a beneficiary because of his non-citizen status, and you might want to get some clear answers on that. (I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.)
I do understand your worry about the use that charities make of gifts to them, but you can do a bit of research on that. This NYT article is long but it could give you some leads so that you can research the charities that you are interested in.
I work as an estate planning lawyer and no, it is not unusual to have a lot of trouble with this. But for unmarried people, especially, I think it's important to work on it because, as you're saying, it's less obvious how you want YOUR property to go (as compared with a situation when you have a spouse, and you and your spouse have kids together). But the choice of where you want your property to go is a decision that you should be allowed to make, and you will need a Will to express your wishes. Good luck.
I am in a similar situation. Long ago divorced, no kids. Currently I have transfer on death for assets to three nieces. Two are in their late 20s early 30s. I really don't like how either has turned out, they aren't bad woman, just I don't identify with them. I keep telling myself it is just a phase, but who knows. The other is a preschooler. I really don't think It would be particularly good for any of them to inherit, it would add to their sense of entitlement, which seems prevelant in that age group. The youngest is an only child of older financially secure parents.
I have loosened the purse strings on myself,but I am not a stuff person. I am not involved in a church, so no contribution there. I can't seem to come up with what to do. Am interested in what others might think.
As said above, consult a lawyer who specializes in wills and trusts. They can make suggestions. Or, you could leave it up to the courts, who will give to relatives you may not want to give it to, after spending it down on legal fees if anyone fights over it. And yes, they will fight over it. People do strange things when it comes to money. A properly executed will avoids that.
A co worker of mine used to work with a man who married into the Folger Coffee family. There were numerous heirs fighting over a castle in Canada. By the time all the legal crap was sorted out and satisfied and paid for, what was left to be divided was hardly worth the years of aggravation.
Also, since you can't take it with you, enjoy it. Someone had an excellent suggestion, pay to have your friend become a citizen. That would be a good $10,000 or so, based on someone else I know who did it. Go on vacation if you're physically up to it. Pay for someone to go with you. Buy a needy friend something they need, maybe home repairs, clothes, or maybe a newer or new car. Think how much pleasure you will get out of seeing someone you care about benefit from your generosity.
We've all been to funerals, and there's never been a pile of cash in the coffin with the stiff, has there?
I also need to do my will. Of course my DH will inherit everything if he outlives me, but if he doesn't (he's 5 year older and has some health issues) then I haven't set out where I want it all to go. Since we're child-free, it's not so simple. I could leave it all to charity, but I know that some of my nieces/nephews are hard-working young people who could use a break. I don't have enough to gift them now, I might need it for my own care, but figuring out how to divvy it up when I'm gone is tricky. I will probably have to pick one that I feel is most honest and responsible, and who loves me enough to treat me right when I need a POA/fiduciary in my later years, and leave the bulk to that one as a reward for their efforts. If there is sufficient left then I would leave a smaller portion to the others too, as long as they don't tick me off too much in this lifetime.
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