U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
Old 01-15-2017, 09:47 AM
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,071 posts, read 19,019,086 times
Reputation: 24182


Try crying. That has a powerful affect on some men.

Otherwise, this is spot on.
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
Simple - you ask him if he would like to be cremated or buried in a nonchalant way. Ask him about life insurance policies, etc. When he asks you why you want this info tell him you might be needing it in the future since he won't go to the doctor to find out what is wrong with him.

Old 01-15-2017, 09:54 AM
34,384 posts, read 41,480,724 times
Reputation: 29863
I would inform him that you think the possibility exists he is having a mild stroke, get to Emergency ASAP.
Old 01-15-2017, 09:59 AM
4,481 posts, read 4,743,979 times
Reputation: 9940
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Well, I would have handed him the cell phone and told him I'm taking off for a few days. And let him know that if he changes his mind about going to the doctor, he can call me to pick him up out front of the house.

Sounds like he runs you ragged and you baby him. You might want to try an ultimatum instead of begging him.

But, this is why I'm no longer married LOL. I am more the ultimatum type.

Yes!! Also, when you are walking out the door, casually look back and tell him.. "oh by the way, don't forget to feed the dog. Wouldn't want the dog to start gnawing on your feet out of hunger."
Old 01-15-2017, 09:59 AM
Location: too far from the sea
19,839 posts, read 18,861,423 times
Reputation: 33746
Well, he finally woke up and asked for coffee and cereal. No, there is no redness or swelling or any other symptoms. He seems somewhat better.

I think this could be a complication from when he fell last fall in a hole in the driveway that the landlord was too cheap to fix. Landlord died! Landlord's sister had the hole fixed pronto! But the damage was done and he has complained about that hip. Now I think this is the knee on that same side.

Thank you, people who have advised me on what to look for as I am pretty good on prevention but not good on what to do if something happens.

Last night's posts were like having a hotline! It was too late at night for me to call any of my friends for advice and you got me through a nerve wracking time. His son in England has now said he will call and talk to his dad --it might help. And another friend has said he is available to call and talk him into going to the dr.

Yes, I am thinking, if he gets well enough, it's about time to go out and stay with a friend 200 miles away. I've been afraid to leave him alone the past few months. I can tell him to call 911 if he needs help.
my posts as moderator will be in red. Moderator: Health&Wellness~Genealogy. The Rules--read here>>> TOS. If someone attacks you, do not reply. Hit REPORT.
Old 01-15-2017, 10:04 AM
4,481 posts, read 4,743,979 times
Reputation: 9940
He won't change. Only you can change how much you are run raged by him. Good luck. Take the trip, save yourself even if it is temporary.
Old 01-15-2017, 10:13 AM
Location: Chicago area
14,398 posts, read 7,926,626 times
Reputation: 53518
Make an appointment for him and tell him you're going some where else. Call the Dr's office and request a wheel chair to get him out of the car. Sit there and refuse to take him home if he refuses to get in that wheel chair. Be as stubborn as he is. Have his lollipop ready when he gets out from seeing the Dr. MMMM Tootsie pops work for me.
Old 01-15-2017, 11:19 AM
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,664 posts, read 4,705,800 times
Reputation: 28061
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
I think this could be a complication from when he fell last fall in a hole in the driveway that the landlord was too cheap to fix. Landlord died! Landlord's sister had the hole fixed pronto! But the damage was done and he has complained about that hip. Now I think this is the knee on that same side.
The hip and knee should be looked at. What's going on with the hip can affect the knee.

If it were my guy, I'd get him in with our PCP. But my guy would go if I insisted. I make him get physicals every couple of years.
Old 01-15-2017, 11:57 AM
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,978,143 times
Reputation: 15649
He needs follow-up. Just because the pain has lessened it doesn't mean he's out of danger.

If you are his healthcare proxy you can call his primary and describe what happened, see what s/he has to say. At least you'd be armed with some authoritative information.

Sounds like the stress is getting to you. I would not leave him, even for a few days, until you know that medically he's been checked out.
Old 01-15-2017, 12:10 PM
Location: Central NY
4,669 posts, read 3,245,044 times
Reputation: 11951
I just saw your post here today. I am really sorry you are going through this with your husband. I do know that some men are extremely stubborn and often want it "their way."

I think all the wise posters who have written here have given you good information. Now to decide which will be the next best thing for you to do. I do agree with RiverBird that you not leave till you have more info. If something were to happen while you were away, you wouldn't forgive yourself. Do what needs to be done; then when you are comfortable leaving, go on your get-a-way. You will enjoy it better with a free mind.
Old 01-15-2017, 12:15 PM
5,426 posts, read 3,450,730 times
Reputation: 13709
I don't blame him for not wanting to make a doctor visit. If it's gout or arthritis, there is not much that can be done other than taking ibuprofen which is an anti-inflammatory.

Some people get cortisone shots or shots of Synvisc. Synvisc works on a select few, but often doesn't provide relief. And cortisone shots into the knee, depending on the stage of the arthritis, can get one through the next 4 to 6 months for some.

But Synvisc and cortisone shots are usually done by an orthopedics physician or a rheumatologist, not a primary care physician who is a general practitioner or who is an internal medicine physician.

You're saying you're pretty sure it's not a thrombosis (blood clot) nor cellulitis (infection) - because there is no redness and no warmth/heat radiating - although in your original post you say it is swollen, in your post #24, you say there is no swelling.

He might be afraid they might try to push him into some type of unnecessary surgery.

You can google online what foods not to eat to control and prevent gout - anchovies, for example, can cause gout. Do you have a blood pressure cuff, battery-operated, to keep track of his blood pressure at home? (They are very inexpensive at Target, Walmart or Walmart.com, online at Amazon.com)

Last edited by matisse12; 01-15-2017 at 12:55 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top