U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-20-2017, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,686 posts, read 1,866,292 times
Reputation: 11294

Advertisements

You could quit paying your mortgage, save the money you normally would pay, file bankruptcy and move to a cheaper location.

Post like these make me so sad. And glad -that my husband and I have our pensions and a fairly low house payment. and minimal debt. We can make it if one of us dies. He will fare better as I have life insurance, and he does not (double cancer survivor can't get it we tried). My mother always said to make your own security and I took that advice to heart.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-20-2017, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,571 posts, read 17,544,804 times
Reputation: 27627
Quote:
Originally Posted by mschrief View Post
You could quit paying your mortgage, save the money you normally would pay, file bankruptcy and move to a cheaper location.

Post like these make me so sad. And glad -that my husband and I have our pensions and a fairly low house payment. and minimal debt. We can make it if one of us dies. He will fare better as I have life insurance, and he does not (double cancer survivor can't get it we tried). My mother always said to make your own security and I took that advice to heart.
That is absolutely stupid as they do not appear to be in any sort of a financial emergency.

If they file BK, they will not be able to get a mortgage loan for at least two years, and it's going to be difficult to rent. If they're going this route, they would probably be best to a deed in lieu of foreclosure or short sale the house.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 12:29 PM
 
419 posts, read 256,807 times
Reputation: 1329
At the great risk of offending the OP, and I apologize if I do, I believe the real problem is her estrangement from her children. In addition to not being able to count on them for basic help, she cannot count on them to just be there for her. I am guessing she feels they have dropped her from their lives and could care less about her. That would be very depressing to think.

We all know that there is usually disappointment and pain on both sides with any parent/child relationship and enough blame to go around for everyone. My advice would be for the OP to reach out to her children even if it's just to say, "I love you and miss you." Keep reaching out because maybe one day they'll realize you won't be here forever.

Again, my apologies if I have offended by sticking my nose in.

One more thing. For anyone afraid they won't be found for a long time when they pass away, you might want to try a little trick my family and friends have used over the years. Have one person you call every night just to check in. If the person hasn't heard from you, they will know something is wrong and track you down. Just don't take off for Europe without telling your designated person first!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 02:30 PM
 
844 posts, read 745,894 times
Reputation: 1383
Thanks everyone. Yes, we live in NY.


Yes, Hubbie makes a decent salary. I get $500/ month pension and SS. We are not going to lose our house or anything like that. But there will come a time when Hubbie will need to retire. And there is very little savings and no investments. He's thinking maybe retiring when he hits 75. Just mortgage, taxes, and insurance is $22K /yr.


I am thinking of going back to work. I have tons of resumes out. I originally left my job to open a business. We put our life savings into the business, but due to the economy, we had to close. Never made the money back. Then I got very sick. Finally doing better but not as good as before.


We are in a rural area- a farm to be exact. There are lots of farms around, which may be the problem. Too many to choice from, although we are priced in the ballpark and maybe even a little lower. We only have 1 neighbor.


My main concern is what would happen if, as we age, we develop Alzheimer's? Would we even know it? What if we got hurt? Or was in a severe car accident? Who would advocate for us if we had to go into a nursing home? Or worse, what if 1 of us went in. How would either I, or my husband, care for my/ his self? What if the one who's home can't care for his/my self, while the other is in the hospital for an accident or illness? I know I shouldn't be so wrapped up in this yet, but I can't help it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,950 posts, read 7,729,944 times
Reputation: 12154
As a widower I had to change my mind/decisions on a few things such as finances, quality of life, etc. It takes a paradigm shift.

I have say as long as I can enjoy life which means be up and about, have a laugh, a drink or two, go to dinner, play some golf, like a pretty woman, etc, then I have a quality life. When I can not do those things I will consider my life not to be a quality life and I will deal with it. Fortunately, knock on wood, I am far from having to deal with it and hopefully will remain such......LOL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 05:44 PM
 
6,188 posts, read 2,856,740 times
Reputation: 15670
In 7 years I will be walking your path...without a spouse though. Single income..poverty inclined.no house or equity whatsoever.

Two sons. Love 'em both. Neither grasped parental honor...
So I will have to turn to a bank trustee...

If worry were riches....us poverty ridden would be rockerfellers!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 06:54 PM
 
401 posts, read 291,459 times
Reputation: 457
As it relates to final expenses you might consider zdonating your body to science. This would help others and lower final cost. This is a good article. How to Save Money by Donating Your Body to Science | The Huffington Post

As it relates to the estranged children. That one is hard. All I can say is do the best you can. All the best.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 07:58 PM
 
3,531 posts, read 1,772,570 times
Reputation: 6232
It's actually better to be poor than middle class in old age bc you can get Medicaid and either qualify for in home or facility health care. I'm a caregiver to a lady who was a millionaire but has required 24/7 care for 20 years. The money ran out a few years ago and now I'm paid by the Medicaid program. I've learned a lot about being old and alone. If you're not rich, be poor.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 08:01 PM
 
6,615 posts, read 3,742,110 times
Reputation: 13666
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
In another thread, the OP asks about moving to Europe to retire, figuring that between their pensions and SS they'll have $60k/year to live on.
Seriously? ????
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 08:02 PM
 
3,531 posts, read 1,772,570 times
Reputation: 6232
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
In another thread, the OP asks about moving to Europe to retire, figuring that between their pensions and SS they'll have $60k/year to live on.
So what? Maybe the majority is from his retirement income.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top