U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-20-2017, 08:06 PM
 
250 posts, read 244,201 times
Reputation: 456

Advertisements

I have LTC insurance. Just drop me off at the facility and I'll take it from there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-20-2017, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,557 posts, read 17,535,380 times
Reputation: 27607
The biggest deal is to reduce expenses to match their cash flow. Who knows if it's reasonable, but I still think getting out of NY is the best bet.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 08:27 PM
 
6,611 posts, read 3,738,816 times
Reputation: 13655
Quote:
Originally Posted by countrykaren View Post
Thanks everyone. Yes, we live in NY.


Yes, Hubbie makes a decent salary. I get $500/ month pension and SS. We are not going to lose our house or anything like that. But there will come a time when Hubbie will need to retire. And there is very little savings and no investments. He's thinking maybe retiring when he hits 75. Just mortgage, taxes, and insurance is $22K /yr.


I am thinking of going back to work. I have tons of resumes out. I originally left my job to open a business. We put our life savings into the business, but due to the economy, we had to close. Never made the money back. Then I got very sick. Finally doing better but not as good as before.


We are in a rural area- a farm to be exact. There are lots of farms around, which may be the problem. Too many to choice from, although we are priced in the ballpark and maybe even a little lower. We only have 1 neighbor.


My main concern is what would happen if, as we age, we develop Alzheimer's? Would we even know it? What if we got hurt? Or was in a severe car accident? Who would advocate for us if we had to go into a nursing home? Or worse, what if 1 of us went in. How would either I, or my husband, care for my/ his self? What if the one who's home can't care for his/my self, while the other is in the hospital for an accident or illness? I know I shouldn't be so wrapped up in this yet, but I can't help it.
Regading Alzheimer's, from what I've learned about it, it SLOWLY develops. I've heard it called "The Long Goodbye." You will know you have Alzheimer's, and will have time to make plans.

There's a wonderful movie with Julianne Moore called Still Alice that shows a middle aged college professor with a family learn that she has Alzheimer's, and it shows the progression, and how she deals with it, as well as the effects on her life and her family. She won Best Actress at the Oscars for the role.

Even if you were close with your kids, they might not advocate for you in a nursing home. I recently had a relative in a nursing home. Many of the residents had no visitors or anyone checking on them, and you know most had families.

Why wouldn't you be able to care for yourself, if your hubby had an accident or went into a nursing home? People don't get decrepit by 85, you know. My dad is 85, still maintains his half acre yard by himself, grows citrus, has a pet hog, etc. I live alone. I can't imagine why you think that's difficult. Life would be easier with a partner in some ways, but it could also be more difficult.

You are LUCKY that you have a spouse, esp since you seem to prefer having one. MANY seniors do not. The things you list may or may not happen, and we just do the best we can with what's available at the time. If you have a severe car accident and are in a coma, you won't be aware of any problems, so don't worry about it. Do some sort of legal paper ahead of time giving someone authority over you, should you become incapacitated. If your husband is gone, name your doctor or your minister (he may not authorize pulling the plug, though!) or a close friend. If you don't have friends, make some.

As for me, I have plans in the event of something serious happening that I wouldn't want to live through.

The important thing is to enjoy life right now. And try to be a help to others. I've not volunteered much in my life, but when I get settled, I hope to do that, and focus on OTHER people's issues instead of mine. Or maybe animals.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 08:44 PM
 
25,972 posts, read 32,970,649 times
Reputation: 32158
Quote:
Originally Posted by countrykaren View Post
If I die first, at least for now, he still works. Hubbie says he will die at his desk because we can't afford to have him retire.
In your other thread, you state that you will both get about 60k in pensions and SS after he retires.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-20-2017, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia
1,320 posts, read 2,744,944 times
Reputation: 1459
Just saw this today on the BBC. It probably won't help OP, as it seems a scheme that would benefit people living near major cities or universities, but it does seem to work well for some.

One solution to two big social problems - BBC News
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2017, 12:58 AM
 
Location: Texas
202 posts, read 140,841 times
Reputation: 417
Two points:

1. If your farm has been listed for sale for 6 months and you have only had one person look at it, then the price is too high. What is unclear is how much demand there is for a farm in your area. Your real estate agent should be given you current information as to what is listed and what has sold. What other farms in the area have sold in the time you have been listed? How do they compare to yours? If other farms are selling and yours is priced higher (giving adjustments for differences in amenities and size, etc.) then that tells you price is an issue. If no other farms are selling, then the fact there are low demand for a farm is also an issue. Regardless, the cure for most problems in selling is to reduce price. In some instances, it can work better to take the property off the market and then put it back on with a different agent. In the meantime, see what you can do to make it more attractive. I had a house years ago that I listed for a year and got little traffic. We took it off the market. Later, we put it back on the market but did the things we had resisted doing the first time (repainting to more neutral colors, new carpet, etc.). We staged the house appropriately and put away a lot of our stuff. We sold the first day the house was on the market.

2. On the issue of being concerned about no one knowing if you have Alzheimers, etc. or perhaps your becoming injured (or dying) without someone knowing, my main suggestion would be to work toward building social connections with others. If you end up selling your farm, you will have a new opportunity to make social connections in a new neighborhood. You might want to consider an over 55 community where there are a lot of activities and social support. Also, if you are a member of a religious group, you might want to find a church and start attending regularly and building relationships with others in the church. If not religious, then try to find secular groups (or perhaps a Unitarian church if their values mesh with yours). But, build those connections.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2017, 01:31 AM
 
3,531 posts, read 1,771,683 times
Reputation: 6232
Your property taxes should be going down since you are old enough for the star senior exemption.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2017, 03:20 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,511 posts, read 8,753,773 times
Reputation: 12192
Sleeping pills.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2017, 04:19 AM
 
11,262 posts, read 8,417,691 times
Reputation: 20430
OP, I'm sorry you are depressed. I hope you find joy in the free, day-to-day blessings.
I walked away from a mortgage once. It was a long process but it turned out for the best. Deed in lieu of forclosing. When the process began, I stopped paying. Also, you need to reduce possessions now in anticipation of your big opportunity.
Another option would involve your kids but you'd have to be able to count on them and trust them. They (or one of them) could avoid inheritance tax by purchasing your home (for nothing) making the payments, charging you rent - a lower monthly payment, but they have to charge something.
Me? No idea. I always hoped one of my boys would take care of me but a retirement home might be okay.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2017, 05:12 AM
 
2,443 posts, read 2,068,483 times
Reputation: 5690
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Regading Alzheimer's, from what I've learned about it, it SLOWLY develops. I've heard it called "The Long Goodbye." You will know you have Alzheimer's, and will have time to make plans.

There's a wonderful movie with Julianne Moore called Still Alice that shows a middle aged college professor with a family learn that she has Alzheimer's, and it shows the progression, and how she deals with it, as well as the effects on her life and her family. She won Best Actress at the Oscars for the role.

Even if you were close with your kids, they might not advocate for you in a nursing home. I recently had a relative in a nursing home. Many of the residents had no visitors or anyone checking on them, and you know most had families.

Why wouldn't you be able to care for yourself, if your hubby had an accident or went into a nursing home? People don't get decrepit by 85, you know. My dad is 85, still maintains his half acre yard by himself, grows citrus, has a pet hog, etc. I live alone. I can't imagine why you think that's difficult. Life would be easier with a partner in some ways, but it could also be more difficult.

You are LUCKY that you have a spouse, esp since you seem to prefer having one. MANY seniors do not. The things you list may or may not happen, and we just do the best we can with what's available at the time. If you have a severe car accident and are in a coma, you won't be aware of any problems, so don't worry about it. Do some sort of legal paper ahead of time giving someone authority over you, should you become incapacitated. If your husband is gone, name your doctor or your minister (he may not authorize pulling the plug, though!) or a close friend. If you don't have friends, make some.

As for me, I have plans in the event of something serious happening that I wouldn't want to live through.

The important thing is to enjoy life right now. And try to be a help to others. I've not volunteered much in my life, but when I get settled, I hope to do that, and focus on OTHER people's issues instead of mine. Or maybe animals.
How many people want to admit they have Alzheimers and make plans. The reality is the window is very short to make plans for older people that are in good health and then quickly decline.


I had a parent with the disease and saw the progression. I even see some on the forums in early stages that probably aren't aware they make the same posts over and over. One of the early signs of dementia is repeating the same thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top