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Old 01-20-2017, 02:57 PM
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
10,459 posts, read 5,920,270 times
Reputation: 16141


While I agree that rules change as you age and take that "so what" approach I find it fascination that so many think that age gives you a free pass to bend or break general societal norms. And those norms say it is not appropriate to go to the doctors office in baggy butt crack jeans, beat up sneakers, an open flannel shirt and a cap with keys jingling to the side.

Again I am not a clothing prude, as I said I've been guilty of this sort of behavior. But going to Walmart in a beat up jean jacket is simply not the same as going to a professional building to visit your doctor. It's just not. And that does not change just because you are old or are a former engineer in my opinion.

Last edited by DaveinMtAiry; 01-20-2017 at 03:11 PM..

Old 01-20-2017, 02:57 PM
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,873 posts, read 23,139,610 times
Reputation: 37275
Originally Posted by Perryinva View Post
Well, it is typical enough that it is a common cliché. Right up there with women love shoes and chocolate, and men love steaks and fart too much. There are plenty of exceptions but the cliché has a basis in reality. Not all engineers & scientists are fashion disasters, but its true enough.
Seems to me that "plenty of exceptions " was precisely my point.

Some people like to shop, some don't. It wouldn't surprise me that more women than men enjoy it but to say that it's "pretty rare" for women to not like it would be incorrect in my experience (and as a woman).

Edit - I am also not a huge chocolate fan. Take it or leave it - I'd rather spend my calories elsewhere (cheese is my weakness). My husband on the other hand....

Last edited by maciesmom; 01-20-2017 at 03:06 PM..
Old 01-20-2017, 03:07 PM
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,738,878 times
Reputation: 47257
Ok I wasn't even going to mention this but here goes.

He wears socks with sandals! I absolutely refuse to be seen with him when he does this. NERD ALERT!!
Old 01-20-2017, 03:16 PM
Location: Alaska
417 posts, read 225,018 times
Reputation: 806
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Ok I wasn't even going to mention this but here goes.

He wears socks with sandals! I absolutely refuse to be seen with him when he does this. NERD ALERT!!
Oh yes, no excuse for that my DH does the same
Old 01-20-2017, 03:21 PM
Location: SoCal again
16,030 posts, read 12,818,958 times
Reputation: 31312
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Ok I wasn't even going to mention this but here goes.

He wears socks with sandals! I absolutely refuse to be seen with him when he does this. NERD ALERT!!
Bahahahaha. Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute. Lots of people do this. I think it is funny.
Old 01-20-2017, 03:24 PM
Location: equator
3,410 posts, read 1,524,633 times
Reputation: 8443
Originally Posted by ffaemily View Post
Oh yes, no excuse for that my DH does the same

Yikes! I see I am not alone. DH too. Had to move to the tropics to get him to take those dang socks OFF. Then the Birkenstocks wore out. YAY.

But yeah, I hear you OP. I like him to wear button shirts when we go out but its usually the same-old, same-old old T's. I load on the compliments if he does wear a button shirt.
Old 01-20-2017, 03:48 PM
Location: Haiku
4,056 posts, read 2,568,125 times
Reputation: 5975
My recommendation for those who don't want to worry about dress standards when retired is to move to Hawaii. All you will wear is shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops ('slippahs' as they are called here) whether you are going to the beach, to Costco, or to the doctor's office. Nobody gives a hoot here what you wear. I admit though that when I go to the doc's office I usually put on some tennis shoes rather than the flip flops.
Old 01-20-2017, 03:56 PM
4,070 posts, read 1,552,805 times
Reputation: 7405
First world problem
Old 01-20-2017, 03:58 PM
12,825 posts, read 20,129,272 times
Reputation: 10910
Originally Posted by DaveinMtAiry View Post
Does this apply to the guy who goes to a nice restaurant right after working on his car in a filthy white tee shirt, stringy hair and smells since he hasn't showered in 2 weeks? Since you do not believe we need to impress or prove anything what is the difference between that guy with black finger nails and the OP's husband?

Sometimes life is not about just being comfortable when you get older. No you need to conform to societal norms, especially if it is very important to your wife. Anything short of that is simply being selfish and lazy. And yes believe it or not that even applies to former engineers.
Don't conflate fashion and hygiene.
Old 01-20-2017, 03:59 PM
6,389 posts, read 5,458,802 times
Reputation: 8880
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
He is 77 year old retired Electrical Engineer with 2 degrees and a successful career under his belt. Today he left for a doctor's appointment in old baggy-butted jeans, a black tee shirt and an old flannel shirt unbuttoned over it. Ratty old tennis shoes too and a stocking cap. But the worst part is he wears his key ring on his belt and it hangs down and makes noise with so many keys on it. He looks like a janitor or a building super.

He has nice khakis, button-down shirts, jackets and sweaters and better shoes in his closet but he only wears them when I am going out with him and ask him to "clean up" a little bit.

He showers daily, has regular haircuts and gets his beard nicely trimmed and he has acknowledged he gets better treatment in shops and restaurants when he is dressed better but he just doesn't seem to care enough to present himself better...unless I gently remind him.

Also he really didn't have to wear a suit or even a tie for quite some time while he was still working so it's not like he is rebelling.

I'm no fashion plate but at least I try to wear something better than knock-around-the-house clothes when I go out.

Now I hear some saying "Leave the man alone. He's not hurting anybody" but I think he is hurting himself even if he doesn't realize it. I realize he is not going to change but I am wondering if other women are having the same issue with their elderly husbands.
I can feel for you, sister. My DH likes looking like tobacco raod. Though, from what you describe, your DH is GQ compared to mine... (he is going on 63).

He wears the same pair of pants day after day until they are so filthy they can stand up by themselves (then wash them). When they irreparably wear out, he will move on to the next pair. He has others...he has a closet full of nice clothes, brand new button downs, khakis, jeans, nice slacks, most of which I bought for him, and oldest daughter has, too...but he saves them like money in the bank, for what occasion I don't know. Some still have the price tags on them. He's semi retired (does bookkeeping for oldest daughter's business and has a seasonal flea market business that is pretty successful). In flea marketing, I guess it doesn't matter how you look.

I've gotten used to it somewhat, but it still bugs me, and annoys the h*** out of my daughter, who is trying to run a professional business, and she's appalled and embarassed about how he walks in looking.

He never cared much about clothes...on one of our first dates he appeared wearing bell bottom jeans and a flowered shirt with wide sleeves. Looked like he stpped out of The Partridge Family, but this was 1980. He bought all his clothes at the Good Will. He wasn't poor, but growing up he and his siblings all wore cast offs and clothes from the Good Will, so he had no idea of what was in style.

For his 25th birthday, I took him shopping...everything I chose for him (in his words) was "preppy or gay". He went around jacketless in freezing weather. I bought him an expensive leather jacket with sheepskin lining for Christmas. He hardly ever wore it, because it "cost so much money and he didn't want anything to happen to it."

I think it's rebellion. "I can look how I want to, and nobody can make me look otherwise". That, or not being used to having nice, new things.
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