U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 01-22-2017, 04:35 PM
 
5,405 posts, read 2,813,304 times
Reputation: 10100

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveinMtAiry View Post
So let's flip the script. Are you saying it would be perfectly fine if the OP's teenage daughters dressed like prostitutes with leather and whips as they went out to dinner with the new neighbors? I mean seeing as we should not be judged by how we dress and all you seem to think that would be perfectly acceptable. We'll just call it a "learning experience" for the girls. Or does that rule of appropriate dress only apply to teens and not old guys?

If those girls walked into that restaurant dressed as sluts how can you possibly say people would not judge them? They would and they should be judged and so would the parents. Now this is obviously an extreme example but I am challenging your contention that we should not be judged by how we dress. That's nonsense, in many cases how we dress is an exact reflection of who we are. This applies to the slutty 25 year old woman, the rocker in all black and long hair, the lawyer in a $1,000 suit and yes an old guy in ratty shoes and an old flannel shirt.

Again I am no snob about clothing but some of the comments here are just so bizarre to me
You are equating old everyday type clothing with dressing like prostitutes?

 
Old 01-22-2017, 04:41 PM
 
649 posts, read 553,719 times
Reputation: 1877
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
I certainly disagree. If your opinion of people starts and stops at clothing, then I have learned more about you than clothing would ever tell me.


Who am I? A thinking being, a person with accomplishments, knowledge and abilities. A person who is striving to accomplish and learn and improve my abilities. A person who loves music and art and excellence of all sorts. A person who dislikes vanity and shallow pretense. A person who has no respect for those who lead lives with minimal reason and maximum reliance on cultural or religious beliefs. None of this has anything to do with clothing.
Every one of us are all of those things and more, however, whether we like it or not, agree with it or not, people do judge you on your appearance. I think most on here have heard that old saying about "you only get one chance to make a first impression". First impressions matter. Bad ones are extremely difficult to overcome because most people won't take the time or effort to try to get to know someone after that.

This is precisely why we have stereotypes...
 
Old 01-22-2017, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Close to an earthquake
890 posts, read 676,459 times
Reputation: 2390
Late to this discussion so I'll make two quick comments.

I appreciate your concern and sort of empathize with you. You should talk to my wife; you'd have common ground making for good conversation.

My other comment is that your husband "paid his dues" so he's a fully-paid member in the clothing attire club he chooses to belong. Dress well, stand tall when in his company holding his hand and being the best trophy wife you can be.
 
Old 01-22-2017, 05:09 PM
 
Location: SoFlo
783 posts, read 535,939 times
Reputation: 1492
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
My uncle (retired CPA) started doing the same thing in his late 70's. It turned out to be an early sign of mild dementia but it took several years for us to recognize it. He gradually become disorganized in his living space, grooming, and finances. I don't know if this is common though.
Yes, this is very common with onset dementia - my FIL died of Alzheimer's with his dementia starting in his last 50's. The lack of care in his dress was a very early sign. That is why I was going to ask the OP whether he always dressed this way even when he was working, on the weekends and/or in "relaxed" mode. In this case since he is diligent about hygiene (that slipped right away as well for my FIL), it is doubtful that it is dementia but it could be some other psychological issue like depression. As a spouse, I do think it is important to be aware of these things and bring it up as an issue - even just to see the response of the spouse to gauge whether it is a clinical issue of some kind.
 
Old 01-22-2017, 05:21 PM
 
6,742 posts, read 3,851,875 times
Reputation: 15441
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
You are equating old everyday type clothing with dressing like prostitutes?
The point is that they can both give a less than positive impression, an impression which may not be correct. At least that's what I got from the post. I think it was expressed clearly enough that almost everyone understood it.

Last edited by Harpaint; 01-22-2017 at 05:30 PM..
 
Old 01-22-2017, 05:29 PM
 
Location: SoFlo
783 posts, read 535,939 times
Reputation: 1492
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Women never seem to admit to being clothes horses, obsessed with fashion, or involved in excessive behaviors related to appearance.


I have no idea who is telling the truth and who is fooling themselves. I can see that the LLBean catalog has switched from sporting goods primarily for men to primarily clothing for women. Visit any mall. The story is the same. Most stores will have 5x the amount of women's clothing. Then there are the undergarments, the jewelry, the cosmetics and perfumes. Check out the drug store. It is the same with tons of women's cosmetics, eye shadow, razors, stinkum, nail polish, etc. Someone is buying all that stuff.
But that doesnt mean we LIKE buying that stuff. It is because society expects women to look like they have some caring about how they look. I will admit though, I did enjoy shopping when I was thin and looked good in pretty much anything, now not so much
 
Old 01-22-2017, 05:33 PM
 
29,764 posts, read 34,848,700 times
Reputation: 11675
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
His lounge pants have no back pocket ;-) They are the only type of pants that he can wear at the moment.

The sciatica is caused by a back injury. He fell backward on the ice while pulling our plane out of the hangar few years ago. MRI showed a lumbar bulging disc between vertebrae L5 and S1, causing pain in the L5 nerve or S1 spinal nerve. Before Xmas, he re-injured his back. Last time it took 6 months to get better. We are hoping it will be shorter this time. If it does not get better, we will have to consider surgery.
This is a lot of older men including me. That is why Cargo pants baggy and all are popular.
 
Old 01-22-2017, 05:36 PM
 
6,212 posts, read 4,715,040 times
Reputation: 12697
Quote:
Originally Posted by MG120 View Post
Every one of us are all of those things and more, however, whether we like it or not, agree with it or not, people do judge you on your appearance. ...............

I am not interested in those people who base their opinions on what someone happens to be wearing when they meet them. I never did care that much and had a successful career getting by with the minimum required clothing within expectations. Now that I am retired, I have even less, if any, such concern.
 
Old 01-22-2017, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,669 posts, read 49,416,421 times
Reputation: 19124
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
I only trim my beard about once a week. I suppose some people would see that as equivalent to going out without dentures. Some would consider a beard to be a sign of laziness.
I do not trim my beard. I shampoo it. I oil it, and every 6 weeks I dye it [I am not ready for grey]. But I do not trim it.

I like my beard. I have worn a full beard for the majority of my adult life. I am comfortable with a full beard. I wore a full beard at my wedding in 1981, wearing my dress blues [cracker jacks]. All of the men in our wedding party were sailors and we all wore beards in our dress uniforms. At my 20-year retirement ceremony I wore a full beard

I do not see a beard as a sign of laziness.

I had to trim my beard down to US Navy Regs this summer, so I could attend a ceremony in my dress uniform. Now I am growing it out again. Hopefully it should reach my nipples again by mid-summer.

I have found that when I make trips into the city, that once or twice a year strangers [females] will approach me and ask if they can touch my beard, and it is clearly something sexual triggered in them.



Quote:
... I suppose the same could be said for a woman who does not wear makeup or pluck her eyebrows. We marry people for who they are. It is sad when that does not work out and the complaints start.
My Dw does not wear makeup. Nor does she mess with her brows. She knows who she is and she does not need to prove anything to anyone.

Some people are beautiful and know it and have the self-confidence that others lack.
 
Old 01-22-2017, 05:42 PM
 
6,212 posts, read 4,715,040 times
Reputation: 12697
Quote:
Originally Posted by klaucka View Post
But that doesnt mean we LIKE buying that stuff. It is because society expects women to look like they have some caring about how they look. I will admit though, I did enjoy shopping when I was thin and looked good in pretty much anything, now not so much
So you used to like shopping, now you don't, but you do it anyway because "society" expects that.


What society are you looking to follow: the Joneses? Members of a country club? A Church or other social group? The Hells Angels motorcycle club?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top