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Old 01-23-2017, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Washington State
18,453 posts, read 9,554,421 times
Reputation: 15734

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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
He is 77 year old retired Electrical Engineer with 2 degrees and a successful career under his belt. Today he left for a doctor's appointment in old baggy-butted jeans, a black tee shirt and an old flannel shirt unbuttoned over it. Ratty old tennis shoes too and a stocking cap. But the worst part is he wears his key ring on his belt and it hangs down and makes noise with so many keys on it. He looks like a janitor or a building super.

He has nice khakis, button-down shirts, jackets and sweaters and better shoes in his closet but he only wears them when I am going out with him and ask him to "clean up" a little bit.

He showers daily, has regular haircuts and gets his beard nicely trimmed and he has acknowledged he gets better treatment in shops and restaurants when he is dressed better but he just doesn't seem to care enough to present himself better...unless I gently remind him.

Also he really didn't have to wear a suit or even a tie for quite some time while he was still working so it's not like he is rebelling.

I'm no fashion plate but at least I try to wear something better than knock-around-the-house clothes when I go out.

Now I hear some saying "Leave the man alone. He's not hurting anybody" but I think he is hurting himself even if he doesn't realize it. I realize he is not going to change but I am wondering if other women are having the same issue with their elderly husbands.
It's probably his little protest to the world and possibly to what he was required to wear at work. I totally get it. I have a doctorate, very comfortable financially, and I sometimes like just wearing sloppy mismatched clothes. Yeah, I know the better I dress the better service I get, etc. but I 'protest' the world's view even if it only hurts me. I do usually allow my wife to pick the clothes she wants me to wear when we go out so she isn't embarassed.

 
Old 01-23-2017, 12:25 PM
 
6,213 posts, read 4,718,283 times
Reputation: 12710
I was out in the backyard splitting firewood when I started to think about this thread. I guess I have become quite a fashion hound. I was splitting firewood in the same clothing I wore to the last doctor's visit, the same clothing I wore to the neighbor's Christmas party. Now I did wear an old jacket when splitting firewood. And for the Christmas party I went whole hog and wore my boat shoes instead of the Merrill Ventilators. But there I was looking real spiffy while splitting firewood. I guess someone with less fashion consciousness would wear jeans or some sort of old, baggy, ratty clothing. I am not concerned because my two "new" pair of khaki pants have already lasted a year and will probably last another year or so....looking good. I paid less for my khakis than my previous pair of jeans. The khakis are 50:50 cloth which lasts forever. The jeans were 100% cotton and fall apart, turn baggy, fade and otherwise deteriorate quickly.


I did make a decision to back off a bit. My khakis are 32" in length and I need to hitch them up occasionally to avoid walking on the hem. My wife and daughter told me I needed this length. I have decided enough is enough. My next pants will be 30" even if they are not fashionable.

Last edited by jrkliny; 01-23-2017 at 01:09 PM..
 
Old 01-23-2017, 12:35 PM
 
6,213 posts, read 4,718,283 times
Reputation: 12710
Quote:
Originally Posted by raidgirl View Post
Not dressing well could also be a sign of depression .
Thanks. I was worried with my spiffy clothing styles, I was moved too much towards being vain, insecure, and overly concerned about the opinions of others.


Hopefully I have just the right balance to avoid those faults and depression.
 
Old 01-23-2017, 12:55 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,475 posts, read 3,313,911 times
Reputation: 13767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tall Traveler View Post
It's probably his little protest to the world and possibly to what he was required to wear at work. I totally get it. I have a doctorate, very comfortable financially, and I sometimes like just wearing sloppy mismatched clothes.
Honestly, I've found that a lot of people who are well-off and well-situated are the ones who are less concerned about appearances. Don't need to impress anyone, I guess.
 
Old 01-23-2017, 01:15 PM
 
71,469 posts, read 71,652,652 times
Reputation: 49032
Quote:
Originally Posted by longneckone View Post
False teeth
i was only kidding .
 
Old 01-23-2017, 01:25 PM
 
Location: San Antonio
898 posts, read 1,247,633 times
Reputation: 771
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
He is 77 year old retired Electrical Engineer with 2 degrees and a successful career under his belt. Today he left for a doctor's appointment in old baggy-butted jeans, a black tee shirt and an old flannel shirt unbuttoned over it. Ratty old tennis shoes too and a stocking cap. But the worst part is he wears his key ring on his belt and it hangs down and makes noise with so many keys on it. He looks like a janitor or a building super.
Heh heh, my wife feels your pain!
I have an engineering degree too, and dress like your husband (complete with jingly keys on belt loop).
I just like jeans, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes, so that's what I wear.
Don't care if I impress anybody.

I will not wear pajamas in public though, that's where I draw the line.
 
Old 01-23-2017, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
10,459 posts, read 5,920,270 times
Reputation: 16141
Quote:
Originally Posted by chud View Post
Heh heh, my wife feels your pain!
I have an engineering degree too, and dress like your husband (complete with jingly keys on belt loop).
I just like jeans, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes, so that's what I wear.
Don't care if I impress anybody.

I will not wear pajamas in public though, that's where I draw the line.

Funny you said that, on another board there was a thread with a clever title, "What is your sweatpants radius?". The theme was clear, you wear sweats around the house but where do you wear them in public.


It was similar to this thread. My contribution was, as I said earlier, I wear fleece pants after work for 5 straight winter months. As they are plaid and look like pajamas I'll only go as far as the mailbox. But with traditional sweats, or Nike sport sweats, I will wear them to most everyday store without hesitation.


But as I keep saying the doctors office is not running into the post office to drop off a card, it's different.
 
Old 01-23-2017, 01:51 PM
 
Location: North Oakland
9,155 posts, read 8,662,185 times
Reputation: 14345
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabbythecat View Post
how many women wear dress shoes that clack when they walk?
Shoes I can hear are much more annoying than the way any outfit looks, no matter how sloppy (as long as the wearer or the clothes don't smell).

Last edited by jay5835; 01-23-2017 at 02:43 PM..
 
Old 01-23-2017, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,738,878 times
Reputation: 47257
I just realized something rather funny. Our 35-year-old Ph.D. son is a college professor (Theoretical Physics) working overseas. He comes home every 6 months and usually for 10 days to two weeks. He can wear DH's clothes and packs very few items of clothing so he doesn't have to check anything. But sometimes he comes directly from a conference and he shows up in equally ratty clothes!

Well not jeans and flannel but in pants with frayed hems, no creases, wrinkled jacket (polyester), wrinkled shirt. The wrinkles I can understand since he's traveling 36 hours or so but frayed hems???

Before his Christmas trip home he called and asked me to find out how long it would take to get his shirts fitted and a new suit tailored. I was ecstatic as I figured he had turned over a new leaf. He wanted something more presentable than what he had. However by the time he got here his enthusiasm for better clothes waned and he was perfectly happy to wear and take back with him his Dad's good clothes (since Dad rarely wears them ). His Dad is always ragging on him to dress better especially since son is basically starting off in his career. When I pointed out to DH how it upsets him to see what Professor No Kudzu, Jr. wears, he says "But I'm retired and he is just starting off." I understand but the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

So DH is very much aware of how appearance can make a difference in how he is perceived. I guess at this stage he just doesn't care too much. However, I will give him credit for wearing khakis and a nice button down collar shirt this morning when we met with the construction foreman for our meeting going over what we want in our new home we are building. And even this construction guy was dressed in khakis and a nice shirt. (I would have expected and understood if he was in "ratty" clothes but he was not.)
I am really appreciating all the comments on this thread. I think I hit a few nerves!
 
Old 01-23-2017, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,834 posts, read 14,349,419 times
Reputation: 30683
Quote:
Originally Posted by raidgirl View Post
Not dressing well could also be a sign of depression .
Particularly if the person dressed well before. Good point.
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