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Old 01-24-2017, 01:22 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,678 posts, read 23,274,401 times
Reputation: 48876

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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
He is 77 year old retired Electrical Engineer with 2 degrees and a successful career under his belt. Today he left for a doctor's appointment in old baggy-butted jeans, a black tee shirt and an old flannel shirt unbuttoned over it. Ratty old tennis shoes too and a stocking cap. But the worst part is he wears his key ring on his belt and it hangs down and makes noise with so many keys on it. He looks like a janitor or a building super.

He has nice khakis, button-down shirts, jackets and sweaters and better shoes in his closet but he only wears them when I am going out with him and ask him to "clean up" a little bit.

He showers daily, has regular haircuts and gets his beard nicely trimmed and he has acknowledged he gets better treatment in shops and restaurants when he is dressed better but he just doesn't seem to care enough to present himself better...unless I gently remind him.

Also he really didn't have to wear a suit or even a tie for quite some time while he was still working so it's not like he is rebelling.

I'm no fashion plate but at least I try to wear something better than knock-around-the-house clothes when I go out.

Now I hear some saying "Leave the man alone. He's not hurting anybody" but I think he is hurting himself even if he doesn't realize it. I realize he is not going to change but I am wondering if other women are having the same issue with their elderly husbands.
My husband is not retired, but when he is not seeing a client, he tends to dress...shall we say....way too casually for my taste. Team jerseys, tee shirts and sweat shirts with the name of his alma mater that are over 30 years old, ill-fitting jeans and boat shoes (Sperry Topsiders) that have seen better days.

He also works from home some days, and values comfort over appearance. He'll dress fine if we are going out. He actually has decent taste

I file this under "things that are more important to women than to men".

 
Old 01-24-2017, 03:07 PM
 
3,625 posts, read 1,564,546 times
Reputation: 2536
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
He is 77 year old retired Electrical Engineer with 2 degrees and a successful career under his belt. Today he left for a doctor's appointment in old baggy-butted jeans, a black tee shirt and an old flannel shirt unbuttoned over it. Ratty old tennis shoes too and a stocking cap. But the worst part is he wears his key ring on his belt and it hangs down and makes noise with so many keys on it. He looks like a janitor or a building super.

He has nice khakis, button-down shirts, jackets and sweaters and better shoes in his closet but he only wears them when I am going out with him and ask him to "clean up" a little bit.

He showers daily, has regular haircuts and gets his beard nicely trimmed and he has acknowledged he gets better treatment in shops and restaurants when he is dressed better but he just doesn't seem to care enough to present himself better...unless I gently remind him.

Also he really didn't have to wear a suit or even a tie for quite some time while he was still working so it's not like he is rebelling.

I'm no fashion plate but at least I try to wear something better than knock-around-the-house clothes when I go out.

Now I hear some saying "Leave the man alone. He's not hurting anybody" but I think he is hurting himself even if he doesn't realize it. I realize he is not going to change but I am wondering if other women are having the same issue with their elderly husbands.
My beautiful wife often says " You guys want your women to be stylish, beautiful, chic but shouldnt we expect the same of you" ? Its a question that I havent been able to answer.

We were LOL reading the "baggy butted jeans" part, since I do that most of the time.
 
Old 01-24-2017, 03:20 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 4,752,208 times
Reputation: 12914
It seems to me that women dress to meet the expectations of other women. I have never cared about stylish and chic (whatever that is). Beauty is another issue entirely and has little to do with clothing.
 
Old 01-24-2017, 03:20 PM
 
197 posts, read 161,121 times
Reputation: 1122
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Sorry, I did not pay attention to why you wanted to post your complaint on the internet. You said you were interested in hearing from others who agreed with you. I guess any other opinion is just annoying for you.
Perhaps what is really annoying is the accusatory and peremptory questioning of the OP. She doesn't have to justify herself to you and I don't know why you need to couch your opinion as such.

You like what you wear and I don't see the OP demanding that you justify your choices.

Cool it.
 
Old 01-24-2017, 03:33 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 4,752,208 times
Reputation: 12914
Quote:
Originally Posted by ukgirl49 View Post
Perhaps what is really annoying is the accusatory and peremptory questioning of the OP. She doesn't have to justify herself to you and I don't know why you need to couch your opinion as such.

You like what you wear and I don't see the OP demanding that you justify your choices.

Cool it.
I stated an alternate opinion and explained my reasons. I did not accuse the OP of anything I am aware of. Peremptory means insisting on someone's attention. How does that apply to stating an opinion on an internet forum?


You, on the other hand seem to be gong out of your way to attack me personally without even offering any opinions, facts or ideas about the topic of discussion. I am not looking to pick a fight with anyone and will not respond to any more of your posts.
 
Old 01-24-2017, 03:37 PM
 
6,641 posts, read 1,977,259 times
Reputation: 6240
In my experience, wives have a bit of control over their husbands' wardrobes. You could, perhaps, have an item in the laundry bin but forget to wash it, or burn something while ironing ing, or just plain say that something looks pathetic and needs to be tossed. Maybe you could enlist a friend to casually compliment him when he dresses up.

But keep in mind that those clothes may be more comfortable. For instance, the flannel shirt might be pleasanter to him than a crisp oxford. So make sure he has comfortable replacements.
 
Old 01-24-2017, 03:49 PM
 
6,982 posts, read 3,879,681 times
Reputation: 14888
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post

He's not simply "going to do some construction work for us". He is going to build our home. Big difference. This was our first "talking in depth" meeting and we knew it would take 2 or more hours. It was our first time to make a good impression in that we wanted him to know he was dealing with people who knew what they wanted, had the money to pay for it and expected quality. At the end of the meeting he said how much he appreciated all the preliminary work and decisions we had already made. DH showed up with electrical drawings and entire floor plan with all the changes and additions this kind of home has. We also had a detailed typed list of questions, measurements, and specifications. After the meeting DH took me out to a very nice restaurant for lunch.

I'm sure subsequent meetings will be much more casual. That is fine.
But apparently nothing about the time and care you two put into selecting the appropriate outfits.

Perhaps much more telling in this entire thread is your statement that your husband's attire somehow made the impression that you "had the money to pay for it." That's what this whole thing is about after all, isn't it?
 
Old 01-24-2017, 04:04 PM
PDD
 
Location: The Sand Hills of NC
8,774 posts, read 14,883,407 times
Reputation: 11886
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
He is 77 year old retired Electrical Engineer with 2 degrees and a successful career under his belt. Today he left for a doctor's appointment in old baggy-butted jeans, a black tee shirt and an old flannel shirt unbuttoned over it. Ratty old tennis shoes too and a stocking cap. But the worst part is he wears his key ring on his belt and it hangs down and makes noise with so many keys on it. He looks like a janitor or a building super.

He has nice khakis, button-down shirts, jackets and sweaters and better shoes in his closet but he only wears them when I am going out with him and ask him to "clean up" a little bit.

He showers daily, has regular haircuts and gets his beard nicely trimmed and he has acknowledged he gets better treatment in shops and restaurants when he is dressed better but he just doesn't seem to care enough to present himself better...unless I gently remind him.

Also he really didn't have to wear a suit or even a tie for quite some time while he was still working so it's not like he is rebelling.

I'm no fashion plate but at least I try to wear something better than knock-around-the-house clothes when I go out.

Now I hear some saying "Leave the man alone. He's not hurting anybody" but I think he is hurting himself even if he doesn't realize it. I realize he is not going to change but I am wondering if other women are having the same issue with their elderly husbands.
When did my wife learn how to use a computer?
 
Old 01-24-2017, 04:40 PM
 
Location: SW Corner of CT
1,950 posts, read 1,541,028 times
Reputation: 2438
As far as my Wife....she looks just as beautiful in a pair of Jeans, T-Shirt and Sneakers as she does in her best Dress....
 
Old 01-24-2017, 06:45 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,157,976 times
Reputation: 10910
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
I just realized something rather funny. Our 35-year-old Ph.D. son is a college professor (Theoretical Physics) working overseas. He comes home every 6 months and usually for 10 days to two weeks. He can wear DH's clothes and packs very few items of clothing so he doesn't have to check anything. But sometimes he comes directly from a conference and he shows up in equally ratty clothes!

Well not jeans and flannel but in pants with frayed hems, no creases, wrinkled jacket (polyester), wrinkled shirt. The wrinkles I can understand since he's traveling 36 hours or so but frayed hems???

Before his Christmas trip home he called and asked me to find out how long it would take to get his shirts fitted and a new suit tailored. I was ecstatic as I figured he had turned over a new leaf. He wanted something more presentable than what he had. However by the time he got here his enthusiasm for better clothes waned and he was perfectly happy to wear and take back with him his Dad's good clothes (since Dad rarely wears them ). His Dad is always ragging on him to dress better especially since son is basically starting off in his career. When I pointed out to DH how it upsets him to see what Professor No Kudzu, Jr. wears, he says "But I'm retired and he is just starting off." I understand but the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

So DH is very much aware of how appearance can make a difference in how he is perceived. I guess at this stage he just doesn't care too much. However, I will give him credit for wearing khakis and a nice button down collar shirt this morning when we met with the construction foreman for our meeting going over what we want in our new home we are building. And even this construction guy was dressed in khakis and a nice shirt. (I would have expected and understood if he was in "ratty" clothes but he was not.)
I am really appreciating all the comments on this thread. I think I hit a few nerves!
O ... M ... G ...

Jeans ... with frayed hems!

The horror!

Around here*, I see VPs wearing them.

* Tech Inc.
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