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I just moved back to a town of 50,000 from a major metro. I'll go to to the store and can't find seemingly basic items. Food and other items are overpriced. There is very little going on here, especially in the winter, indoors. While I do enjoy being closer to family, there are plenty of mid-sized cities that are good compromises between metros ~2 million and small, dysfunctional towns like I'm in now.
This is a city of about 100,000 (the area I'm speaking of is a large semi-rural burb, incl. in that 100k total count). The nearby grocery stores to the area are big stores: WalMart NeighborhoodMart, Market Basket, and a WalMart Supercenter not far down the hwy. Also a Dollar General, an AutoZone, a plant nursery, printing services, a 24/7 emergency clinic, vets. The burb has a thriving local economy of its own. All these things are 6 to 10 mins. away. That is fine and very convenient. There are even a few doctors, although I don't know how good they are.
But it's the big stuff that will take 1/2 hr, like the big mall, Sam's, Target, hospitals, main doctors, specialists.
I am guessing that travel in a car will be fine until I am in my mid-80s, judging by my grandmas (now deceased) and my dad, who is 85 and gets around in his truck just fine. He takes his much younger wife 2 1/2 hours for medical treatment by specialists (she, the younger one, is the one with the health problems!).
There will be times I can't go the 1/2 hour because of weather. It floods here, and the route passes over a couple of low bridges, which will be washed out at times (that prevents me from getting to the WalMart SuperCenter, too). I will also not feel well at times.
The time isn't so much the issue. It's the distance, I suppose.
My family is pressing me to live in the area. But the city itself is so expensive that what I can get in my price range are houses I wouldn't want to live in, or are in high crime areas. The city limits has a very high crime rate! Much higher than the big city where I had been living. But the burbs are low crime. The housing is still overpriced, but at least the houses are nicer.
I am also considering a house that came available in another city. It's in a great location near all amenities (still requires driving in a car)...but everything is within 10 minutes. Everything. My family wants me here, though. I am torn. I have lived away for decades; my dad and brother want me here, so they can see me regularly and help provide me assistance and such. (Of course, they'll be gone by the time I'm old.) So I've selected this lovely small house in this burb. I love it. But it's not IN the city....hence, my concern.
When living a little further from things it makes you think a little bit about taking care of multiple errands and planning your trips a little more to save gas. We have the things we need frequently within 10-12 miles, basically grocery, Walmart, post office, UPS, gas stations, our doctor's office, a small local hospital with ER, Home Depot, etc. Department stores like Target and Kohls, or Costco, or the mall require at least a half hour drive, but we only need those stores about once or twice a month and almost never is it urgent that we go there on a specific day, so bad weather isn't a factor, we just wait for a day or two and go then.
This is a city of about 100,000 (the area I'm speaking of is a large semi-rural burb, incl. in that 100k total count). The nearby grocery stores to the area are big stores: WalMart NeighborhoodMart, Market Basket, and a WalMart Supercenter not far down the hwy. Also a Dollar General, an AutoZone, a plant nursery, printing services, a 24/7 emergency clinic, vets. The burb has a thriving local economy of its own. All these things are 6 to 10 mins. away. That is fine and very convenient. There are even a few doctors, although I don't know how good they are.
But it's the big stuff that will take 1/2 hr, like the big mall, Sam's, Target, hospitals, main doctors, specialists.
I am guessing that travel in a car will be fine until I am in my mid-80s, judging by my grandmas (now deceased) and my dad, who is 85 and gets around in his truck just fine. He takes his much younger wife 2 1/2 hours for medical treatment by specialists (she, the younger one, is the one with the health problems!).
There will be times I can't go the 1/2 hour because of weather. It floods here, and the route passes over a couple of low bridges, which will be washed out at times (that prevents me from getting to the WalMart SuperCenter, too). I will also not feel well at times.
The time isn't so much the issue. It's the distance, I suppose.
My family is pressing me to live in the area. But the city itself is so expensive that what I can get in my price range are houses I wouldn't want to live in, or are in high crime areas. The city limits has a very high crime rate! Much higher than the big city where I had been living. But the burbs are low crime. The housing is still overpriced, but at least the houses are nicer.
I am also considering a house that came available in another city. It's in a great location near all amenities (still requires driving in a car)...but everything is within 10 minutes. Everything. My family wants me here, though. I am torn. I have lived away for decades; my dad and brother want me here, so they can see me regularly and help provide me assistance and such. (Of course, they'll be gone by the time I'm old.) So I've selected this lovely small house in this burb. I love it. But it's not IN the city....hence, my concern.
I live in a quasi-rural neighborhood. Neighborhood was built in the 70s, houses are all on lots at least half an acre - hill behind us was all woods until the last ten years. There is a large cattle pasture behind the neighbor across the street. There are a couple fast food restaurants a few miles away, gas station, dollar store, and pizza joint.
I think the nearest grocery store is about eight miles away, but it's fifteen minutes. Same thing with Walmart. Other than one regional grocery with several stores, one Kroger, and Walmart, that's all we have for groceries.
I can make it to my office in ten minutes some days but it is one of the first few buildings in the city limits. It's another five to ten to most places in town. Doctors, services, etc., are about where you'd expect for a 50k town, but the overall metro is about 500k strewn about three anchor cities and their counties, but it functions as a much smaller place.
What gets me is not necessarily the distance, but the lack of selection. Some routine items at the grocery store aren't available here, and what is here is sky high. USDA Select sirloin steak (lowest grade sold commercially) were $7.99/lb at my local grocery store. Milk is nearly $4/gallon. Yesterday, I went to Costco in Knoxville, TN and USDA Prime Sirloins were $6.99/lb - two cuts above the steaks here. Oh, if you want prime steaks, here - can't find them in the few grocers we have.
Wanting something seemingly basic and not being able to find it is the problem.
From observation, I can't agree that it's as simple as "once you are in the car, what difference does it make?" I see older family and friends who are still ok driving and get out regularly yet still prefer to stay in a fairly close orbit of their homes, and even more importantly, become increasingly uncomfortable driving at night. Driving 5-10 minutes isn't the same as driving half an hour and what feels ok at age 65 may not work at 75.
In addition to the length of the drive, the type of road can make a big difference. I know people who have no problem driving on most roads, even 50-mph highways with a lot of traffic lights. But they do not feel comfortable on interstates. They hate the merging, and they are nervous driving above 55 mph.
Something to consider if the half-hour drive involves high-speed, limited-access highways.
I have never in my life lived far from amenities but am thinking of a house that is a bit far, for me, from certain types of amenities.
Lovely area, crime free, lots of retirees. Grocery stores, pharmacies 6 minutes away by car. A WalMart SuperCenter 11 minutes away (by car). An emergency clinic, and veterinarians are 10 mins away. This is pretty good.
But doctors, Mall, Target, Sam's Club, Hospitals, Best Buy, pet stores, things like that - those are 1/2 hour away.
And I bet you don't get a good cellular signal or have decent Internet service there either. You would be very lucky if you had just one of those. I could NOT live in such a remote area with spotty cellular/Internet service.
By the time you are 80, your area is likely to have built up and some of those stores and doctor's offices may be nearby with the exception of a large mall or a hospital.
Not necessarily. I live in an area with similar distances to the OP's post. I am about 12 minutes away from a convenience store/gas station and about 15 minutes from a few other stores. Most grocery stores are about 20 minutes. Doctors, hospitals, major shopping - about 35 to 40 minutes.
But I am doubtful this will change much over the next 15 or 20 years. Yes, there will be some things a little closer. But I live in an acreage subdivision. It takes me 5 minutes to even get to the front of the subdivision. Outside the subdivision are acreage homes. It is possible that there will someday be more stores 12 to 15 minutes away but not likely to have many much closer.
DH and I have decided to move in a few years. We bought in this area originally because we had large dogs and needed additional space. But, the dogs are older now and we don't plan to replace them. So, we won't need an acreage home. As we get older DH is 69; I am 62) I do think about how far we have to drive. And, there is no public transportation except very expensive cabs.
My mother is in her 90s and I've seen what it is like for her. She is close to stores but has not wanted to drive long distances really since she got to be 80.
We will probably move to a suburb but one that is closer to amenities. I would like some grocery store within 5 minutes and to have at least basic shopping within 15 minutes. A major hospital within 20 minutes or so.
This is a city of about 100,000 (the area I'm speaking of is a large semi-rural burb, incl. in that 100k total count). The nearby grocery stores to the area are big stores: WalMart NeighborhoodMart, Market Basket, and a WalMart Supercenter not far down the hwy. Also a Dollar General, an AutoZone, a plant nursery, printing services, a 24/7 emergency clinic, vets. The burb has a thriving local economy of its own. All these things are 6 to 10 mins. away. That is fine and very convenient. There are even a few doctors, although I don't know how good they are.
But it's the big stuff that will take 1/2 hr, like the big mall, Sam's, Target, hospitals, main doctors, specialists.
I am guessing that travel in a car will be fine until I am in my mid-80s, judging by my grandmas (now deceased) and my dad, who is 85 and gets around in his truck just fine. He takes his much younger wife 2 1/2 hours for medical treatment by specialists (she, the younger one, is the one with the health problems!).
There will be times I can't go the 1/2 hour because of weather. It floods here, and the route passes over a couple of low bridges, which will be washed out at times (that prevents me from getting to the WalMart SuperCenter, too). I will also not feel well at times.
The time isn't so much the issue. It's the distance, I suppose.
My family is pressing me to live in the area. But the city itself is so expensive that what I can get in my price range are houses I wouldn't want to live in, or are in high crime areas. The city limits has a very high crime rate! Much higher than the big city where I had been living. But the burbs are low crime. The housing is still overpriced, but at least the houses are nicer.
I am also considering a house that came available in another city. It's in a great location near all amenities (still requires driving in a car)...but everything is within 10 minutes. Everything. My family wants me here, though. I am torn. I have lived away for decades; my dad and brother want me here, so they can see me regularly and help provide me assistance and such. (Of course, they'll be gone by the time I'm old.) So I've selected this lovely small house in this burb. I love it. But it's not IN the city....hence, my concern.
Oh boy. You've lived away from them for decades. They want you closer. But, none of them are helping you pay to be closer.
Honestly, what's in it for you?
If they'll be gone before you need assistance, then honestly, how can they offer you assistance now?
It seems more likely that they want you there for you to assist them.
It really doesn't sound like you want to be there. And if you both have lived without each other for decades, I just don't think it's a good idea for you to move closer to them now under pressure. Especially, when it's much more likely they will need you, than they will be able to help you in any way.
As an outsider, with family members who often looked to me to help make their lives easier - and who I finally escaped from - I am just sensing a bad situation for you here.
And to be fair, I may be reading my own family into your situation. But, I think it's fair for you to think about what you need and want.
I am just not hearing you say that you really want to do this.
For us. Ages 68/59. Now in very good health.
In the City & County of Denver.
We drive, but have easy access to: Car2Go, Uber, taxis, buses.
We went for a medium length drive today: 5.1 miles.
We can walk to 4 supermarkets, 100 restaurants. Walk Score of 90.
Kaiser is 4 miles away which was handy when I had to do chemo.
Our property taxes are reasonable at 0.5% of market value. We get many services.
Being that far from Medical facilities with no public transit would be my biggest concern. Often seniors need more medical appointments even though they are still quite independent.
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