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Not sure if this is the right forum for this question, but I'll try here.
My father, who is 84, and his wife, who has Parkinson's, have decided that it is time to move to a continuing care community. His wife has a lot of trouble getting around and all of the work on the house and yard has been falling to my father. They currently live in an old farmhouse (circa 1780s, or thereabouts) in Northern NJ and will be moving to a one-floor "villa" that is much smaller (2-bed, 2-bath, approx. 1500 sq. ft) in a continuing care community in Lancaster, PA. My father has lived in NJ since high school!
Anyway, I would like to buy them a gift when they make the move to help a bit with what will probably be a stressful transition. As they are downsizing, I don't want to buy more stuff that they are going to need to find a place for, so I was thinking of maybe a gift certificate at a nice restaurant in the area? A spa day at a local place? A flower delivery for a couple of months? Any ideas on what might be an appreciated gift in this situation?
And before you suggest it, I have already offered to come down to NJ and help them pack and sort through stuff or do whatever is needed to get them ready for the move. I am thinking of a gift that I can have sent their first week in their new place to help them transition to the new situation. The actual move probably won't be much before March 2017, so I do have some time to think about this.
Eating out is probably something they will do so a gift card would be a good idea. The problem is how convient is it for them to get to the restruant? A gift credit card might be the answer.
The downsizing can be a very big job. Maybe a few trips from you if you can. Might see if they are willing to give a lot of stuff to charities that will pick up from the house or hire some one to do an estate sale. For the sale of the home specify that it does not have to be broom clean. You can leave what you want. This can avoid a lot of work on your part.
I assume they have to sell their home. The house could sell in a day or a year. Do they have a firm move in date? Do they have a place to go if the house sells fast? Most of the people I know had their home sell so fast they had to rent until their new home was ready. The exception is a person that lived in the country (like your father). Took almost 2 years. Price was not a problem. It was location. To far from good employment.
Maybe for a gift being at the new home when the moving van arrives to help set up the house.
You can also help with the paperwork of the move. Setting up new utilities, TV, insurance etc and closing out the old accounts. This work could be done from your home. Any problem with getting a drivers license? Health insurance can be a problem. You need to find one that has the type of doctors they need if the community does not provide this. I think I would skip the gift card and try to handle the paper work and move in.
Eating out is probably something they will do so a gift card would be a good idea. The problem is how convient is it for them to get to the restruant? A gift credit card might be the answer.
The downsizing can be a very big job. Maybe a few trips from you if you can. Might see if they are willing to give a lot of stuff to charities that will pick up from the house or hire some one to do an estate sale. For the sale of the home specify that it does not have to be broom clean. You can leave what you want. This can avoid a lot of work on your part.
I assume they have to sell their home. The house could sell in a day or a year. Do they have a firm move in date? Do they have a place to go if the house sells fast? Most of the people I know had their home sell so fast they had to rent until their new home was ready. The exception is a person that lived in the country (like your father). Took almost 2 years. Price was not a problem. It was location. To far from good employment.
Maybe for a gift being at the new home when the moving van arrives to help set up the house.
You can also help with the paperwork of the move. Setting up new utilities, TV, insurance etc and closing out the old accounts. This work could be done from your home. Any problem with getting a drivers license? Health insurance can be a problem. You need to find one that has the type of doctors they need if the community does not provide this. I think I would skip the gift card and try to handle the paper work and move in.
He actually doesn't live in the country. He lives in Wyckoff, NJ, Bergen County, which is probably one of the most densely populated counties in the country. Also, as a upper middle-class suburb of NYC, I expect the RE market is pretty hot. However, his house is quite old and I expect there will be a fair amount of problems with it, related to age, even though my father has done a good job to keep up with the house. But the answer is, yes, they do need to sell in order to move on. They have a lot of antiques and other stuff accumulated over a lifetime as well, so they do have a lot to get rid of. The good news is that my father is pretty practical and not so sentimental, so I feel like he will be ready to be fairly ruthless about it.
One thing that is unfortunate is that by the time the house is ready to go on the market, they will be past the prime selling season. Nothing much to be done about it, but it could affect the interest and final offers on the place.
As far as what they will do if the house sells quickly? I'm not sure what they're planning. His wife's daughter lives in Lancaster (where they're moving), so it's quite possible they could stay with her and her husband for a few months. The home they are buying is in the process of being built, so they don't expect it to be ready before March. Also, if we end up with a harsh Winter, I suppose there could end up being weather-related delays.
RE: transportation: They have a car and will have the car in Lancaster. So any local restaurants, or other places should not be a problem for them to get to.
All the paperwork and other moving help, I am willing to do in addition to a gift. I have already offered to help wherever they need me. As I mention above, his wife's daughter and husband live in the town they're moving to, so they should be able to help quite a bit with all the local logistical stuff.
(btw: I don't call his wife "my stepmother" because he married her when I was in my 40s, so it just seems weird! I call her by her first name)
Consider selling the house as is to an investor that will fix the house up and resell it. This could make the move a lot easier. You could probably get into the sales agreement that settlement will not take place until he settles on his new home.
You would want a good cash down payment in case the buyer defaults. You may also want to require a cash sale and the buyer furnishes proof that they have the cash.
Maybe he sells now with a lease that lets him move when ever he wants to but no latter than say June 2017.
Any building inspections have to be done at time of signing the agreement not a few months latter.
You could try the above now and take the home off the market after two or three months if it does not see like it will work out. I would go toward a high price that you are willing to discount.
The transportation is an unknown as he may not be able to drive so start thinking about this. Good that he has relatives where he is moving.
If they don't know how to, teach them Skype. Even if you have to buy them a cheap laptop.
Skype to Skype calls are free, but the best part is they are VIDEO calls. They will love to see you, and you can see them.
When we lived in Mexico, we used it for weekly calls to our then 80-something Father in Law. It is not hard to learn, even for oldsters with no computer skills. Since they will be in a continuing care community, they can probably get assistance if they need it, after you teach them on your visit.
My husband's siblings who lived nearby said their Dad looked forward to 11AM every Sunday, sitting waiting for our Skype video call to begin. And it helped us 'see' how he looked....way better than a normal audio phone call.
If they don't know how to, teach them Skype. Even if you have to buy them a cheap laptop.
Skype to Skype calls are free, but the best part is they are VIDEO calls. They will love to see you, and you can see them.
When we lived in Mexico, we used it for weekly calls to our then 80-something Father in Law. It is not hard to learn, even for oldsters with no computer skills. Since they will be in a continuing care community, they can probably get assistance if they need it, after you teach them on your visit.
My husband's siblings who lived nearby said their Dad looked forward to 11AM every Sunday, sitting waiting for our Skype video call to begin. And it helped us 'see' how he looked....way better than a normal audio phone call.
I agree but would not get them a cheap laptop. I would spend the additional one that would be better and easier to use. I would get an iPad or a mid level laptop. Cheap ones are more trouble then they are worth. Everything else you suggest is awesome.
How about a fruit or veggie of the month club? Or to a local community supported agricultural monthly subscription - to get the local harvest? Or if their community provides meals, then maybe guide books to the new area? Subscription to the local theater for plays? Symphony? Arboretum?
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