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Old 01-26-2017, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,668,169 times
Reputation: 35449

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveinMtAiry View Post
As we have no kids and without the money to fund LTC insurance I worry about this as well. The comment "don't leave it to anyone else to take care of you" simply is not realistic for many of us. At some point let's face it, we will be broken down to the point where we can no longer take care of ourselves and we will need help. Father Time is an undefeated opponent.
Since I was the one who stated, "don't leave it to anyone else to take care of you but you," I am going to respond to your comment.

I have no kids and I wouldn't buy LTC insurance even if I could afford to. My nearest relatives are one sister in Toronto and another in Los Angeles.

That's about as alone as one can get.

Last February I was hospitalized and needed care after I returned home. I had only been living in the Cleveland area for six months so I really didn't know anyone here. Medicare supplied me with a visiting nurse, housekeeper and social worker until I got back on my feet. We discussed what I could do if I was never going to be able to get back on my feet. The social worker directed me to PACE.

https://www.medicare.gov/your-medica...pace/pace.html

As it turned out I recovered well enough so I didn't need this but it was nice to know it was available. There are also organizations for low income people that supplement PACE, it all depends upon where you live.

After that incident, I realized I really needed a substantial plan to take care of myself. So I researched low income senior housing. I asked the care providers who came to my place for suggestions. The best one I got was from the visiting nurse who steered me to the low income housing complex in which I now live.

I have everything here. I've made friends with a couple of neighbors and we kind of look out for one another. There is a senior center in the building. They have the best social worker ever who knows the answers to the problems arising from old age including "who will take care of me?" The center itself supplies a nice big fat folder with every contact any senior would need for any and every kind of help.

Nothing came to me overnight. I had to stumble around a bit for awhile until I found what worked for me. I did a lot of research on my own checking out low income and moderate income housing to see for myself what I thought would be a good fit. I checked out various care facilities. I talked to my doctors and several other social workers to get their advice. I searched various organizations and groups that help seniors with problems arising from aging alone. I calculated what I could and could not afford. So I know that if it ever comes to my not being able to take care of myself, I have a system in place in which I will be able to get assistance.

I don't know your health or financial situation or what's available in the state in which you reside so I wouldn't presume to give you specific advice other than to tell you not to wait to find out what's available to you until you're already in a spot where you need help taking care of yourself. That's why I say "Don't leave it to anyone else to take care of you." And yes, it's very realistic. Anyone can do the research based on their own circumstances to discover what will be available to them when the need arises.
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Old 01-26-2017, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
10,462 posts, read 5,930,681 times
Reputation: 16156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Since I was the one who stated, "don't leave it to anyone else to take care of you but you," I am going to respond to your comment.

I have no kids and I wouldn't buy LTC insurance even if I could afford to. My nearest relatives are one sister in Toronto and another in Los Angeles.

That's about as alone as one can get.

Last February I was hospitalized and needed care after I returned home. I had only been living in the Cleveland area for six months so I really didn't know anyone here. Medicare supplied me with a visiting nurse, housekeeper and social worker until I got back on my feet. We discussed what I could do if I was never going to be able to get back on my feet. The social worker directed me to PACE.

https://www.medicare.gov/your-medica...pace/pace.html

As it turned out I recovered well enough so I didn't need this but it was nice to know it was available. There are also organizations for low income people that supplement PACE, it all depends upon where you live.

After that incident, I realized I really needed a substantial plan to take care of myself. So I researched low income senior housing. I asked the care providers who came to my place for suggestions. The best one I got was from the visiting nurse who steered me to the low income housing complex in which I now live.

I have everything here. I've made friends with a couple of neighbors and we kind of look out for one another. There is a senior center in the building. They have the best social worker ever who knows the answers to the problems arising from old age including "who will take care of me?" The center itself supplies a nice big fat folder with every contact any senior would need for any and every kind of help.

Nothing came to me overnight. I had to stumble around a bit for awhile until I found what worked for me. I did a lot of research on my own checking out low income and moderate income housing to see for myself what I thought would be a good fit. I checked out various care facilities. I talked to my doctors and several other social workers to get their advice. I searched various organizations and groups that help seniors with problems arising from aging alone. I calculated what I could and could not afford. So I know that if it ever comes to my not being able to take care of myself, I have a system in place in which I will be able to get assistance.

I don't know your health or financial situation or what's available in the state in which you reside so I wouldn't presume to give you specific advice other than to tell you not to wait to find out what's available to you until you're already in a spot where you need help taking care of yourself. That's why I say "Don't leave it to anyone else to take care of you." And yes, it's very realistic. Anyone can do the research based on their own circumstances to discover what will be available to them when the need arises.
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I get it now, it was not clear in your original post. Me? I always saw my final years being in a state institution with crap in my pants for 2 days before being cared for.

I'm not there yet, only 57 but planning hard for my retirement and the next chapter. Probably end up in a smaller town in the south, I assume they have similar living situations to what you just described somewhere down there.

Thanks again
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Old 01-26-2017, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,323 posts, read 6,169,969 times
Reputation: 11627
I have no personal experience with this, but from the outside looking in having dealt with a couple of SINKs in my family, it seems to work best when you are PROACTIVE. Moving into a Villages type of community before you need to, moving into an Independent living community ahead of time, etc...
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Old 01-26-2017, 10:18 AM
 
5,911 posts, read 6,718,562 times
Reputation: 15255
Double Income. Two kids. In my wildest dreams I can't imagine them lifting a finger to help us. Rare is the family, I suspect, where the kids will provide the assistance that was considered normal in times gone by.


My kids are pretty sure they know what I am worth, and they have it all figured out what each will get when I die.


LOL. The Will says it all goes to an administrator who can decide if the kids are worthy of something, if anything at all.


I wish I could be alive to see the look on their faces!


As an aside, and I am sure it has been discussed elsewhere, but what do you do with your belongings? We have GOOD furniture, and there is no way it will go to someone who will trash it (like the kids). What do others do?
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Old 01-26-2017, 10:48 AM
 
14,260 posts, read 23,995,588 times
Reputation: 20076
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Same here. I was just talking to the social worker assigned to my apartment complex today. We discussed these things. She was a wealth of ideas. It isn't a mystery, there are all kinds of solutions for problems arising from aging. If someone doesn't know where to begin, a senior center or any senior advisory office can help.

There are many threads on this subject here, the answers are always the same; plan to take care of yourself, don't leave it to anyone else to take care of you.


In all fairness, you do have the advantage of living in an area with great social services. The Cleveland area has great facilities for seniors of all income levels. That is one of the reasons that I have recommended it several times as a great place to retire. There are a handful of other Midwestern cities that offer something similar that I am aware of. If you move an hour outside of Cleveland, some of the services are not quite as comprehensive as that is the situation that my in-laws are in.

Now bringing this back to the topic, if you are going to be in this situation down the road, you better start thinking about it well before you get to this age. Does the area I plan to relocate to have the social services that I need? Personally, I don't think that most people whoa re in their 50s or early 60s would be able to answer that question UNLESS they are taking care of their parents or other elderly people.
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Old 01-26-2017, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
10,462 posts, read 5,930,681 times
Reputation: 16156
TedBear: How exactly will the administrator determine that?
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Old 01-26-2017, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Haiku
4,082 posts, read 2,576,815 times
Reputation: 6028
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
As an aside, and I am sure it has been discussed elsewhere, but what do you do with your belongings? We have GOOD furniture, and there is no way it will go to someone who will trash it (like the kids). What do others do?
That is funny! I never thought about furniture, to tell the truth. I figure I am dead, what do I care?

Besides I remember my mom and her stuff - she loved her furniture and possessions but to tell the truth they were worthless and when she died they mostly got donated. I don't want to presume that anything we have has any special value to it. It seems to be a common old-person thing to do.
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Old 01-26-2017, 01:05 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,585 posts, read 39,962,822 times
Reputation: 23724
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Bear View Post
.... what do you do with your belongings? We have GOOD furniture, and there is no way it will go to someone who will trash it (like the kids). What do others do?
that is a tough call, since we have ended up being the depository for all the 'prairie' items from 3 sets of grandparents, and kids & siblings have no desire for it.

1) We will let museums glean any item of value to them (Pioneer Village...)
2) Will consider consigning to an auction house (proceeds are already designated to charity)
3) Remainder will go to charitable annual sale event, or to the charity's thrift store.

Probably a pretty big estate auction (all proceeds to charity)
Dozers, excavators, tractors, machine, wood, and auto shops. 50+ vehicles (some of collector quality)

then the sale of the property(s) (designated to charity)

Our kids got a free place to live till age 18, (inclusive of many yrs 100% commitment homeschooling and family businesses) beyond that they have been doing fine on their own. We started a family foundation when they were ~ age 12- 16, they are assigned as successor trustees / will designate gifting after our demise.

We keep LTC, since our parents checked into SNF pre age 50.
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Old 01-26-2017, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,948 posts, read 5,305,279 times
Reputation: 17967
Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV View Post
I have no personal experience with this, but from the outside looking in having dealt with a couple of SINKs in my family, it seems to work best when you are PROACTIVE. Moving into a Villages type of community before you need to, moving into an Independent living community ahead of time, etc...
The Villages and other Active Adult communities are places to move to because you want to, preferably the day you turn 55. They are not senior housing. They are for people who want to do things like golf, swim, tennis, softball, etc. There is no "need to" because if that is the case you wouldn't have much use for an active adult community and should be looking at senior housing. It's one thing to grow old in an active adult community but moving there when you are old and sick isn't that common.

Friends and neighbors help out because you have known each other for years. A person moving in that needs help probably won't get any since you weren't there to help in previous years. I help several neighbors now, 10 years ago the ones I am helping were the ones that helped others and 10 years from now the ones moving in now should hopefully be helping me.
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Old 01-26-2017, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,668,169 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveinMtAiry View Post
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I get it now, it was not clear in your original post. Me? I always saw my final years being in a state institution with crap in my pants for 2 days before being cared for.

I'm not there yet, only 57 but planning hard for my retirement and the next chapter. Probably end up in a smaller town in the south, I assume they have similar living situations to what you just described somewhere down there.

Thanks again
You're welcome and I am sorry if I wasn't clear before. Sometimes my fingers don't type what my head is thinking.

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