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Old 01-25-2017, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Haiku
4,071 posts, read 2,574,551 times
Reputation: 6003

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Anyone else in this situation? Former DINKs (dual income, no kids) now retired, which is fine, but I am wondering what our plan is when we get to 80, 85 and need to move or we have a medical event that would normally have family pitching in to help out. My wife and I packed up our parents like all kids do, so we need to figure out what we do when we are at the point of needing help.

You hear about elderly people who are alone getting taken advantage of because they have nobody to turn to and become vulnerable. I worry about that, especially for my wife if I die before her.


What are others doing?
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Old 01-25-2017, 03:29 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,449,470 times
Reputation: 13709
Hire someone or multiple people to assist in whatever you need.

Or call government-based Social Services or Services to the Elderly in your locale (if possible) asking for volunteers to assist you - depending on where you happen to live. Or call non-profits and social service organizations offering social services to ask for volunteers or people to hire.

Or check classified ads for people who do in-home services. Also people who do handy-man chores around a home or apartment often advertise their services in local small community newspapers.

Ask churches for assistance in handling your needs.
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Old 01-25-2017, 03:33 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,946 posts, read 5,302,666 times
Reputation: 17916
I moved to a place where everyone is in the same situation. You make your own support system.
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Old 01-25-2017, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,247 posts, read 3,016,686 times
Reputation: 9593
"Adopt" some nephews or nieces even if they are not relatives.
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Old 01-25-2017, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,439 posts, read 3,664,651 times
Reputation: 4800
Three ideas:


1) Assemble your support system before you need it, so it already exists when one of you does require it.

2) Move to a CCRC

3) Move to a community/area such as the Villages where there are many residents such as yourself, and become part of a local mutual support system for others and yourselves.


We were a Single Income Two Kids household for many years. If both children move out of the area (one already has and the other only recently returned) we will be in the same situation you described. We are looking at option #2 so that we can remain close to friends, doctors, financial advisors, etc., yet not floundering without a support system.
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Old 01-25-2017, 04:45 PM
 
Location: SoCal
6,066 posts, read 9,529,219 times
Reputation: 5800
Already under discussion:

Who will do for you, when you no longer can
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Old 01-25-2017, 04:49 PM
 
14,260 posts, read 23,991,339 times
Reputation: 20072
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI-Roger View Post
Three ideas:


1) Assemble your support system before you need it, so it already exists when one of you does require it.

2) Move to a CCRC

3) Move to a community/area such as the Villages where there are many residents such as yourself, and become part of a local mutual support system for others and yourselves.


We were a Single Income Two Kids household for many years. If both children move out of the area (one already has and the other only recently returned) we will be in the same situation you described. We are looking at option #2 so that we can remain close to friends, doctors, financial advisors, etc., yet not floundering without a support system.


Agree with all of this with one clarification.

If you are a person who is generous with your neighbors and help them out, they generally do the same. If you are the type that only "wants to get" and are nerver around when they are in the need, that is what you will get.

We did #3. We are the young folks in town and have done a lot of things for our neighbors. In return, we have gotten a lot back. However, a lot of the younger people "never have time" to pitch in and help out.
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Old 01-25-2017, 05:14 PM
 
3,996 posts, read 3,220,385 times
Reputation: 13011
Im really not impressed by people who have kids thinking they will take care of them. I read far more stories of the kids taking advantage of their parents, sucking their money dry, than I do of outsiders doing the same. You can pick those you want taking care of you; you can't pick your kids.
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Old 01-25-2017, 05:22 PM
Status: "Re-edit status" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Was Midvalley Oregon; Now Eastside Seattle area
4,170 posts, read 1,898,828 times
Reputation: 3200
Not a DINK, but retired.
Most of Retirement facilities offer a free meal for a look see.
At the eye doctor today, a newly built facility is not only offering apple pie, and meal, but a couple of nights too.

Worth a look for the meal and something to think about when spouse and I are at each other throats.
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Old 01-25-2017, 08:18 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
16,418 posts, read 5,354,959 times
Reputation: 51319
I am 68 and Mr. Bay is 76. We have a niece who lives about 10 miles away, but we're not particularly close and I would not expect her to take any responsibility for our care. I am hoping that when the time comes we will be able to afford a CCRC facility. They're pricey, though. Some of the nicer ones in our area have monthly fees of $4000 plus per person.

I'm hoping that the sale of our house will yield enough capital to make this possible, or perhaps we can convert it to a rental to generate monthly income and hire a rental agent to manage it for us so we don't have to screen tenants or clean toilets.

Plan B is to move to a condo in a senior community so that we don't have maintenance or yardwork to worry about and can take advantage of the services they offer (such as housekeeping, meals and transportation to doctor's offices).

Until we are ready to move, we plan to use handyman services to take care of chores we can't do ourselves. I am in pretty good shape for my age and hope to continue living at home for years to come, but I do worry about what will happen later on as Mr. Bay is not in good health and it seems pretty likely that I'll be widowed sometime in the next ten years.
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