U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-07-2017, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,152 posts, read 45,704,508 times
Reputation: 61882

Advertisements

Hubby and I are way over insured now that we're retired, so we plan on getting $10-15k in Universal life insurance, and getting rid of the old coverage, so when we die we can just have the money separate without having to get money from the investments.
At a time like that, it's nice to just have a chunk of extra cash to buy a kid a plane ticket, or to not have to get your ducks in a row right away. Our actual death expenses will just be cremation with some kind of interment later. I'm thinking the survivor will just gather with the immediate family later.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-07-2017, 02:27 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,441 posts, read 1,676,474 times
Reputation: 8726
Both of my parents have/had pre-paid funeral plans. I cannot express enough how grateful my siblings and I were after my father died. Rather than making emotional based decisions during that time, we could focus on getting a dPOA and taking care of all the financials and care needed for our mother.

Dad had everything in files and organized, including the burial plans. Their shared headstone was bought, installed and inscribed with only the end date to be added, the year before. All the rest of their familes is around their site, which is comforting for my Mom. Dad chose cremation and a graveside service for himself. Mom cannot stand the idea of cremation, so hers cost more. Part of both pre-paid plan was a life insurance policy that they took out through the funeral home. We came across it and called about it to find it had already been paid out to the funeral home the day before. They did not waste any time, I'm not faulting them over that, it just surprised me. This funeral home has done all the funerals for our family as long as I can remember.

My paternal grandparents are buried, entombed (?) in a mausoleum. As a kid that just creeped me out when I had to go pay my respects, as there always seemed to be a smell from one of the vaults seals failing and the overpowering smell of flowers inside. I always wondered as an adult how cemeteries still maintain those, money-wise, over the years.

My Dad had the right idea, he didn't care what happened to his body after he died, he wouldn't be there. He made it easy on us. For us, it will be cremation and we aren't paying $$$ for a vault in a cemetery for the ashes or a headstone. There's a crematorium in town that advertises an $895 cost, but we haven't looked into the specifics.

Last edited by jean_ji; 02-07-2017 at 02:44 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,094 posts, read 19,047,678 times
Reputation: 24212
best way to pay for a funeral is to get cremated. About $1K to $1200 and all done.

Funerals, cemetery plots, caskets, grave stones - all a big waste of money.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,756,785 times
Reputation: 32309
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyonpa View Post
One issue is the "Emergency Fund" can become part of the Estate if not setup correctly, It varies by state the order of payments from the Estates, Some states allow some part of the Estate to be used for Funeral Costs, Some Don't,

Most Funeral Home want a living person to sign for the costs, they rarely will allow the estate to sign for it, as they don't know if there is anything in the estate, and where they fall (in Non funeral States) in the allocation of money that are left (if any).
I was thinking about the next of kin paying for the funeral out of their own funds, then presumably they would eventually inherit the estate. When my mother died my sister and I were already signatories on her bank accounts, so we just wrote checks on those. But had that not been the case, we would have paid with our own money and just inherited that exact amount more. It's all the same ibn the end. I see "paying for funerals" as a non-issue.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 04:45 PM
 
4,757 posts, read 4,043,347 times
Reputation: 9989
As a genealogy researcher I appreciate tue permanence of stone markers. Even if you wish be cremated & scattered in your favorite spot, consider purchasing a memorial marker in a cemetery.

If I was concerned about financial shortfalls in my estate, I would prepay.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,967 posts, read 5,317,347 times
Reputation: 18042
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyonpa View Post
Just wondering out loud?

Would it be good to setup a Funeral "Savings" account with a POD (Payable on Death) to a trusted friend/family member who would be arranging the service(s).

To keep the account out of the Estate?
You are overthinking this.

I used a credit card to pay for the funeral.

I listed the cost of the funeral when I filled out forms for the estate's attorney.

By the time the credit card bill came I had already started deposited assets in the estates account. You don't have to wait until everything is done to use that money. I gave out money to heirs here and there. Not 1 big check when everything was finished.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,293 posts, read 12,533,436 times
Reputation: 19526
The best way to pay for a funeral is cash in advance. You can buy your own funeral at current prices. Just pick a mortuary with a good track record then go talk to them about setting it up. There's no need to give an insurance company a cut.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,293 posts, read 12,533,436 times
Reputation: 19526
Quote:
Originally Posted by historyfan View Post
As a genealogy researcher I appreciate tue permanence of stone markers. Even if you wish be cremated & scattered in your favorite spot, consider purchasing a memorial marker in a cemetery.

If I was concerned about financial shortfalls in my estate, I would prepay.
I have no children, so no descendents will ever come looking for my headstone. I'm taking a page out of Amy Tan. I will be cremated and my ashes placed in small, collectible carved boxes and shared with my friends. They can sprinkle my ashes somewhere that was important to the two of us. The memories of my friends are all I am leaving behind, and they get to pick the memories.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,270 posts, read 3,030,249 times
Reputation: 9611
The worst hard sell experience that I ever had was when I went to a funeral parlor to get a price sheet. They are required by law to provide a price sheet if you request it. This guy thought he was going to sell me everything but the building. I got the price sheet and got out of there. He was a real slime.

A couple of years ago we contracted with Neptune for cremation with our ashes to be scattered in the Gulf of Mexico.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2017, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Florida Baby!
5,223 posts, read 673,074 times
Reputation: 3135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
best way to pay for a funeral is to get cremated. About $1K to $1200 and all done.

Funerals, cemetery plots, caskets, grave stones - all a big waste of money.
I disagree with this, but I concede that it's more of an "each to his own" thing.

When I was growing up, funerals were just a part of life. Both my parents came from large families so someone was always dying and it seemed like we were always going to wakes of some dead relative who was mysteriously related to me. When I was about 9 years old my birthday was spent at a wake for one of my dad's relatives. My grand reward was a trip to the toy store on the way home, and my dad letting me pick out anything I wanted. That's how I got my Monopoly game, which until very recently, I had kept all these years.

I went to a Polish Roman Catholic grade school run by Felician nuns. When we were in 3rd and 4th grade the kids would be pulled out of class to sing--in Polish--for funerals (always around 10 AM) which were held in the church upstairs.

So then it was no surprise when as a teenager one of my favorite activities was to jump on my bike and pedal down to the cemetery in the neighboring town. I loved looking at the old gravestones and imagining what what these cast of characters were like back in their day.


The majority of my family is buried in the same church cemetery overlooking Lake Erie. Even though I no longer live in the state, my "dying" wish is to be buried with the rest of my relatives. I also figure it's the only waterfront property that I will ever be able to afford Before daughter #2 left to begin her career in the military, she and I went back to my home town to visit my Aunt Jean (the only relative left in town of that generation that's still alive) My daughter specifically wanted to go to the cemetery to visit the grave of her grandfather (my dad). He always thought his granddaughter was a hoot, and she has a special place in her heart for him. She joined the military (AF) in part to honor him as he was a WWII Navy vet.

Funny story...Back in the 80s MY grandfather passed away. He was buried in the family plot along with his mother-in-law and my cousin (long story there) who were at the opposite end of the plot. My dad selected a double-wide gravestone (my grandmother passed several years later) and had the caption inscribed "Our Father Who Art In Heaven.' Many years later when my dad passed my brother suggest that we get a duplicate headstone for my parents and continue the inscription theme with "Hallowed Be Thy Name." I told him to go for it. Fast forward to about two years ago. My dad's sister passes away. While she was still alive, my aunt was so concerned that there wouldn't be enough room for her in the family plot that she made sure her headstone was positioned next to her daughter's (my cousin) So there's a gap--room for one more, if you will--between my parent's headstone and my aunt's. So my aunt has her gravestone engraved with "Thine Will Be Done." So the lucky dog who gets the last spot in the family plot will be forced to continue the chain with "Thine Kingdom Come." It won't be me--I plan on getting my own plot and my headstone will be inscribed: "What a Long Strange Trip It's Been."

I don't particularly like the idea of being put in a box but I like the idea of being incinerated even less. Ideally this is the way I'd like to go:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ff-philippines

My daughter once asked me what she should do with me once I become old and senile and too weak to care for myself, to which I replied....

"Just put me in a boat and push...."

Last edited by Daisy Grey; 02-07-2017 at 07:30 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top