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Old 02-07-2017, 07:25 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,585 posts, read 39,962,822 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quiettimect View Post
Is this really true? Sounds like the end of Lonesome Dove.


In any event direct cremation is the popular choice for my frugal cohorts. It runs about $850.00 including transportation and the cardboard box.
Cremation is NOT ALLOWED if ALL siblings do not agree. (and the deceased had not previously specified). One sibling (3500 miles away) said NO WAY!!! We had no money for arrangements, and deceased had already cost me $100+k in bad debt and 32 +(18) yrs of my life, so... most efficient burial was required.

"Road Trip" was recommended by the funeral director that was gonna have to charge me $1200 to haul corpse 20 miles from airport and do the burial. (only $300 to airship the body 2000 miles). It was a VERY healing trip after 32 yrs of miserable eldercare. I took the deceased to many of their favorite spots enroute, including; Lava Hot Springs, Yellowstone, Tetons, Bighorns, Devil's Tower, Black Hills, Mt. Rushmore, Badlands, Corn Palace (where deceased had performed in the 1940's)...We had the BEST trip of our life



Quote:
Originally Posted by David A Stone View Post
"rented a backhoe"

However, if burial is desired in a cemetery usually only the authorized grave digger is allowed to bring digging equipment in.
It was a local 'Country Cemetery', so no requirements for a 'captive / preferred gravedigger'. I had worked for most of the local farmers (cemetery caretakers), so they knew I had my own backhoe and dozer, just too much trouble to bring them 2500 miles.

VERY nice that they allowed me to use a Plastic / Fiberglass Vault, instead of a Cement Vault. (Cement vaults will degrade and collapse. (as they had on the graves next to the one I dug)).

I was able to stop and pick-up "last yr model Vault' while passing through the beautiful Star Valley in western WY. Used their forklift to place the casket in the vault and all buttoned up for burial. They helped and also gave me a tour of the factory, showing me how to thermal form Burial Vaults!! These folks are GREAT!!!
Polyguard Vaults - Welcome

My kids and spouse can operate the excavator and dozer, and direct burial on our property is allowed, so I will be extra-CHEAP to dispose of.

I already have the spot staked out and will dig the hole myself if I am not too weak. 'Backfilling' is the EZ part, I will park the dozer in front of the spoils and they can cover me up and proceed with the BIG estate auction! Party Time! (I hear a LONG trip to Europe is in the plans )

STATE funeral lobby can be a big burden to your cheap burial plan. DO NOT die in Nebraska!!
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Old 02-07-2017, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
8,969 posts, read 7,741,639 times
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Are funerals becoming less common?
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Old 02-07-2017, 07:43 PM
ERH
 
Location: Cary, NC
1,145 posts, read 1,637,273 times
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This is a bit of a morbid footnote, but wanted to throw this out there for consideration. My parents pre-planned and pre-paid their funeral expenses, which was a huge godsend to us kids. Each opted not to fork over the $2K cost of embalming.

When my mother died last year, at home in hospice care, Dad didn't realize that 'no embalming' meant he wouldn't see her again, and so he sent her off with a quick kiss. It was a shock to him the next day to hear the funeral director strongly advise against him seeing her.

TL;dr -- make sure you know exactly what you're NOT paying for, so your expectations align with the reality.

As for myself, I have no desire to throw good money into the ground, so I will be cremated and have my ashes spread at sea, hopefully with no formal service. I don't buy into the argument that funeral services bring closure. If you can't deal with the fact that you're loved one is dead, you need a therapist's help, not a funeral. LOL
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Old 02-07-2017, 08:32 PM
 
4,776 posts, read 6,613,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
I was thinking about the next of kin paying for the funeral out of their own funds, then presumably they would eventually inherit the estate. When my mother died my sister and I were already signatories on her bank accounts, so we just wrote checks on those. But had that not been the case, we would have paid with our own money and just inherited that exact amount more. It's all the same ibn the end. I see "paying for funerals" as a non-issue.
That wouldn't work in my MIL's case....she has no "estate", just a couple of thousand (right now, unless the fridge dies or something) in a checking account. She has a burial policy but it's less than $6000. Another family member recently died and they kept the cost low, not the cheapest but not the highest, but it was still around $6000.

So you see, there is not always an estate or an inheritance, and for some people it is definitely not a "non-issue".
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Old 02-07-2017, 08:36 PM
 
4,776 posts, read 6,613,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell View Post
The best way to pay for a funeral is cash in advance. You can buy your own funeral at current prices. Just pick a mortuary with a good track record then go talk to them about setting it up. There's no need to give an insurance company a cut.
I wondered if this was still done. I need to talk to our local funeral home (which has been in business forever and will not go out of business) to see what their prepay options are, if they have any.

I would actually like for my husband and I to pick everything out, have it paid for, and ready to go so the kids don't have to do much at all.

If something happened to one of the kids, that's where it might get hairy.
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Old 02-07-2017, 08:46 PM
 
4,776 posts, read 6,613,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational View Post

"Hubby has life insurance on himself which should take care of his funeral expenses..."

You don't know? Fix that.

Yes, I do know....it's hundreds of thousands of dollars.

And once you do know what YOU want and the costs... put it all down in writing.
Include that in your will as well. A will for each of us is something else I've been trying to get hubby to take care of so that I (or he) will inherit everything and the kids won't have any say-so about it. All we have to do is write it out ourselves and have it notarized! He absolutely hates talking about anything like this....he always changes the subject.
.
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:32 PM
 
25,986 posts, read 33,003,034 times
Reputation: 32208
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Cremation is NOT ALLOWED if ALL siblings do not agree. (and the deceased had not previously specified). One sibling (3500 miles away) said NO WAY!!! We had no money for arrangements, and deceased had already cost me $100+k in bad debt and 32 +(18) yrs of my life, so... most efficient burial was required.
How did your parents cause you to go into debt?
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:33 PM
 
618 posts, read 267,020 times
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Speaking of... Just last week we buried my brother in law. My wife and I, and including her family members were truly disgusted with the funeral home costs. Not known to us, the fh had changed owners over the past few years. There was burial insurance, which helped. The service was only a day. A DAY. Heck, not even. From 9-230, with grave side services. It would have costed an extra 5-8k for overnight and next day service. Our nephew, his son, was going to take the amount needed out of his retirement, but would take weeks to get payment in. FH would not agree on that term. I've spoken to a coworker of mine, which works part time at another fh and he even told me that he himself had to go to the fh we used, pick up body and deliver it to the one he works at. The one we should have used in first place. But with the burial insurance, we blindly went there.

I honestly cannot believe how much funerals cost nowadays. Yea, I understand that prices do rise. It actually feels like that if you are well off financially, you will have a great funeral. If not, it's a hurry and have service so we can go on with the next service. I may be wrong saying it. I'm just bitter at the whole thing.

True, it's best to have burial insurance for these matters. Because tomorrow is not promised.
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Old 02-07-2017, 11:01 PM
 
9,682 posts, read 15,867,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyonpa View Post
One issue is the "Emergency Fund" can become part of the Estate if not setup correctly, It varies by state the order of payments from the Estates, Some states allow some part of the Estate to be used for Funeral Costs, Some Don't,

Most Funeral Home want a living person to sign for the costs, they rarely will allow the estate to sign for it, as they don't know if there is anything in the estate, and where they fall (in Non funeral States) in the allocation of money that are left (if any).


Life insurance is NOT considered a part of the estate and by-passes probate. Estates can be tied up for years in probate. Life insurance is instant cash for final expenses.
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Old 02-07-2017, 11:26 PM
 
4,649 posts, read 6,483,631 times
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I'm going to be cremated and then a family barbecue.
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