Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But if you move in retirement to a place different from where you live, the retirement group that helps you to get acclimated will likely be much older than you. And after you've been retired for 7 years, they will now no longer be in their spry late seventies, but the much more decrepit mid to upper 80's.
And then they will start dying. You will never have really gotten to know them, and they will have experienced a wide full life in many ways before you even met them.
This is one of the hardest things for me. I have trouble developing close relationships to begin with, and it means that I will not be likely to develop them with people here because the relationship won't last long enough to do it before they die.
In the past 6 months(ending today), I have had three friends(88, 90, 91) who were much younger when I arrived(81, 83, and 84), who DIED(the most recent this morning at 11:15 AM).
RETIREMENT might be a fun time, buts its also a period of accelerating loss.
My motherinlaw moved here to be closer to us after Dad died and this is the hardest thing she has had to deal with for the move. She has made several good friends in the last 4 years and 4 of them died. Another one has dementia. She has had some significant depression over it.
Sad to hear. Perhaps living in a regular town was a good choice for us. We moved to where we planned to retire at age 50. But we had jobs that allowed us to do so. Our friends range from a little younger to a bit older than us.
God willing, I hope to not out live all of my friends. But I plan to stay social and am open to new friendships.
But if you move in retirement to a place different from where you live, the retirement group that helps you to get acclimated will likely be much older than you. And after you've been retired for 7 years, they will now no longer be in their spry late seventies, but the much more decrepit mid to upper 80's.
And then they will start dying. You will never have really gotten to know them, and they will have experienced a wide full life in many ways before you even met them.
This is one of the hardest things for me. I have trouble developing close relationships to begin with, and it means that I will not be likely to develop them with people here because the relationship won't last long enough to do it before they die.
In the past 6 months(ending today), I have had three friends(88, 90, 91) who were much younger when I arrived(81, 83, and 84), who DIED(the most recent this morning at 11:15 AM).
RETIREMENT might be a fun time, buts its also a period of accelerating loss.
Well, demographics can do that as well.
Being an early Xer, I know more people older than me than younger. I currently have two friends fighting cancer, a number dealing with Type 2 diabetes, heart problems, and other potentially life threatening issues. Most are reasonably in control in terms of life style - I reckon a few of the ones I highlighted would be gone by now if they were less so.
I've already lost a few to cancer and sudden heart attacks or strokes.
You know you are over the hill when you find yourself attending more funerals than weddings.
My closer friends now are in their mid-70s. It is hard for me to imagine life without these good friends, but I know it is coming unless I go first.
Even with that, both I and my DH know more dead friends and family than those alive. Hard to grasp, but it is true.
Just before my MIL passed at age 91 she said she was ready to go because all her friends were gone and she didn't know anyone anymore. I can see that. Even from the 15 years she lived in a senior community, most of her friends there went on ahead of her.
That's why they say make sure to make friends with younger people...and keep replenishing I also think moving into senior housing ensures that the people are ALL older. Aging in place has its benefits, especially if family and friends are nearby. Planning early is the key, I think.
And, you're right--dealing with all the losses as we age is hard to bear.
get used to it. Retirement is also about funerals, and the longer you live, the fewer friends you'll have left. Yes, later years are lonely for most older seniors.
"younger" friends? Good luck. What do you have in common with them? They won't like your stories of life before....Chances are they're still marrying off their kids, and that's their focus.
Yep. I am 72 and the last of the "older" generation has already passed on: the last two aunts and my godmother all died in their 90's within the past two or three years. Now the Grim Reaper is coming for those whom I consider to be in my generation - a friend who was 79 died about a year ago, a number of ex-colleagues from a group of us who still get together have died in their 80's. I have half a dozen cousins in their 70's, one of whom is in poor health and another still smokes.
My real friends, as opposed to acquaintances, are few in number, are in their 70's, and are people with whom I have a history going way back. If I should live into my 80's, I predict there will be some rather lonely years.
get used to it. Retirement is also about funerals, and the longer you live, the fewer friends you'll have left. Yes, later years are lonely for most older seniors.
"younger" friends? Good luck. What do you have in common with them? They won't like your stories of life before....Chances are they're still marrying off their kids, and that's their focus.
Most of my day to day interactions are with older people. I'm retired and people my age are still working. Don't know how they do it!
The conversation does revolve around health issues which I find interesting.
One friend my age does happen to have a son getting married this weekend.
He's " old" - lol. 30 or so. I think that by that age the couple could handle the wedding thing on their own. But I hear she's nervous, but then that is her personality.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I also think moving into senior housing ensures that the people are ALL older. Aging in place has its benefits, especially if family and friends are nearby. Planning early is the key, I think.
